Once again, I Pit the weather

The BBQ Pit
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Once again, this is shaping up to be another “Summer that never was”, just like in 2000.

Stupid rat bastard climatic conditions. Who do I sue? Fuckers.

First of all, in May, we had three weeks of rain and cold. For me it was damned inconvenient. For a lot of people, it was home-wrecking and life threatening. Main streets were knee-deep in water. Basements were flooded. People were made homeless. It was like a mini Katrina.

I went on vacation for a four day Memorial Day weekend. It rained going there, and it rained coming back. But miracle of miracles, the weather was beautiful the whole time there.

But when we came back, it rained. And flooded. June was a complete washout. More fucking rain.

4th of July? Rain. And my GF, wanting to be outside, got bitten by a tick. And got lyme disease.

At least our big Summer vacation had nice weather, right? Blazing hot the day before we left, causing rolling blackouts. It was OK, though, we were going on a beach vacation, right? Wrong. Tropical storm Beryl hit us right smack dab in the middle of our week. Eight days, and five of them rainy.

So we had a mini-vacation 2 weeks ago. Just a Friday and Saturday night. And we had guests coming over for the one beach vacation they get all year. I’ll give you a guess how the weather turned out. Hint: Not dry.

And the temperatures? Color me prejudiced, but the high for the day in any random day in August should not be fucking 66. Remember the dog days? When you have to wear a sweater in the middle of the day IN FUCKING AUGUST, that defines the very heart of suck.

But at least we get one last Summer beach blast, right? Three day weekend mini-vacation again. Right? Hello, fucking hurricane Ernesto.

I blame Bush.

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I blame global warming.

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What’s funny and ironic is that when we were on our Summer vacation, we spent a rainy night at the movies. We saw An Inconvenient Truth.

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I know about being a bad weather magnet, but fortunately under limited but specific circumstances.

Whenever my wife and I travel anywhere to celebrate our anniversary (late May, fwiw) the weather is 60° and rainy. Doesn’t matter where we go, and even delaying an anniversary trip until June doesn’t change things.

This started with our honeymoon, in the mountains of north Georgia. The next year, we spent a week in the mountains of upstate SC. Same deal both times - sixty and rainy. I think we skipped a year or two before doing a weekend trips in a few different years to the Smokies in Tennessee. We’ve been to the Blue Ridge, the mountains of western Maryland, and to Ocean City in June.

Finally, this year, to celebrate our fifteenth anniversary, we were in Holland from May 18-28. We’d been there before and wanted to go back, and we figured it couldn’t be cold and wet the whole time. We were wrong, of course: not only was it 60° and rainy the whole time, we had high winds the whole time as well. We met a friend in Dusseldorf near the end of our trip - he said this was the worst spell of weather like that that he could remember, this late in the spring. We took full credit.

Having been hit over the head with that big a clue stick, we’ve finally decided to celebrate future anniversaries locally. We’ll go out to dinner, see a show if there’s something worth seeing, but travel associated with our wedding anniversary is right out.

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Yeah, perhaps we should consider spending Memorial Day in the Sahara. They might really appreciate the break in the weather.

Back in 1999 my extended family met up in the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina. That was in July. In the South. Did I mention that it was in July in the South? I swear, I should have brought a sled.

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Yeah, that or Grand Junction. When the driest part of your body is your asscrack, you know you’re stuck in the desert.

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All of you bad weather magnets just please stay away from the west coast of Mexico next May. We’re planning a cruise then. I don’t know just when it will be, but when I have firm dates, I’ll let you know so you’ll know which week to stay away. :smiley:

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My breath was frosty last night. FROSTY. In August. WTF? Not that I love hot weather either, but I wasn’t prepared for it to be fall already either. Fucking weather.