Let’s see - I know how every member of Scylla’s family shits, including, I believe, the cat.
I now know about prehensile rectums, Crohn’s disease, bad flushing habits of coworkers, laxative abuse, the etiquette of which stall one uses, and the fact that some posters are “Poo-Shy.”
I now know about “mudcats”, “floaters”, “exploding rectums,” “Wolf-Ass,” “rings of fire”, whether it’s better if they float or if they sink, and that disgusting restrooms are gender-blind.
I myself have posted the mantra “Be a bathroom hero.” But enough is enough people. Yes, pooh is inherently funny. Oh, hahahaheeheeheehohoho.
Next person to post a graphic shit thread gets a visit from Mr. Hanky and a pamphlet on fecalphelia in the mail.
That’s total slander. I never talked about how the cat poohs. I did mention that daughter wanted to poop on the cat, but that’s something totally different.
To fulfill your request, here’s the complete Scylla household poop breakdown.
Scylla - I covered this elsewhere.
Baby - ditto
Cat - is now an outdoor cat becuase it scratched my daughter and was exiled, so presumably it now poops outside as well. Prior to that it generally used a litter box. It was kind of nasty, cause in the late fall a couple of mice would always get inside the house. The cat would catch them, eat them and get worms. It would get those wriggly kind, as well as the little tapeworms that hang off the cat’s ass like a grain of rice.
Mrs. Scylla - I could not testify in a court of law that my wife has ever pooped. I’ve never heard her poop or even fart (except when she was pregnant.) I’ve never gone into the bathroom and smelled the ghost of her poops past. Never, not ever. So, to the best of my knowledge my wife never pinches a loaf. I assume that she’s a perfect creature inhabiting a higher plane of existence where such earthly unpleasantness like crap never takes place.
Dog 1. - Poops in the woods in private.
Dog 2. - Poops wherever it feels like pooping.
Horses - poop literally all the time. It’s constant. Don’t worry though, horse poop isn’t like human poop. It has it’s own not so unpleasant smell, and it comes out in neat little chunks that just look like compressed grass. Horse poop is no problem at all. Let it rot in a big pile and it’s perfect fertilizer. Let it dry, and it’s perfect for starting a fire. Leave it alone and it just disapears in a day or to.
Scylla, make sure you give me a daily update from now on. I want us to be able to compare this year’s poop projections against last years poop totals. And don’t try to sneak the poop of outsiders in just to beef up your numbers - a few Amish kids dropping biscuits on your land now and then doesn’t count toward your quota. Poop laundered through your outfit will be tracked to its source by trained poop investigators.
Well, I’m not saying the EPA has ever officially declared a lavatory to be a Superfund site after I’ve done my bidness, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out they did.
Well, shit. Wassamatter, magdalene, you think your shit smells better than the rest of ours? Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face or there’s gonna be a shit-storm of trouble. You think I’m shitting you? Does a bear shit in the woods? Let me lay this shit on you: I know shit from shinola. And that’s no shit.
