Opening Nite Jitters (TMI?)

Alright. So its happened again (this time not embarrassingly; oddly enough). First, I have a confession to make. I am not the sexual Olympian you may have thought I was. Actually, I am only a few degrees above Wesley Clark (for those aware of him); but I must assure everyone it is those few degrees which allow me to bare my soul to you all tonight.

My affliction is that every time I am with a person for the first time my member decides he is unwilling to perform. This has happened exactly four times now. Dead sober or dead drunk, it matters not. Without fail I cannot rise for the initial performance (which never bodes well when attempting to entice the present audience to attend the show on a regular basis). Now, I do feel I need to set everyone at ease. I must declare, that if the audience is so inclined to venture into a subsequent performance, I am indeed able to attain, what may be called, a standing ovation. Why I make this confession is I want to inquire if I alone in this misfortune? Are others also consistently plagued by the opening night jitters? Further, and more importantly, I believe; ladies, have you ever been a party to something like this? What impression(s) did it have upon you? Why did you attend, or as it may have been, graciously decline further shows?

I thank you all in advance for your support, condolences, and privacy in this matter.

I know just what you are talking about. The first time (and sometimes further) the little soldier decides he is gonna peter (heh) out. I wish I had the magic answer, but everyone always told me “Just relax” and “It happens to lots of guys.” I guess once you realize that every man has this problem at one time or another, and its ok.

Some tips:

  1. Take it slow. No need to rush.
  2. Please her. The first time I was with my SO, I went down on her for hours! No intercourse though.
  3. Ask Opal.
  4. Turn off the lights. This works really, really well. Sometimes its just a matter of self image. If you can’t see… you have to feel.
  5. It happens to everyone.