We were on the couch, we were ready. She was naked, I was naked. I took a condom from my wallet and put it on. When I got back to her, my buddy changed his mind.
Oh man, I don’t know how to explain my embarassement.
The good thing (or bad, I haven’t really decided) was that it was with my good friend. After we put out clothes on, we hugged and had a little chuckle. Also, she didn’t say “aww” or anything like that. If I had to pick anyone for that to happen with, it would defiantely have been her. Now that I think about it, she might have been the reason my buddy got stage fright. I was nervous since it was her and everything.
When I think about it now, its as if its just a bad thought or bad dream. Then I remember it really happened and I keep saying to myself “oh man, she was naked…”
Don’t let it bug you, it happens to everybody at some point for different reasons. Especially during the condom switch, because you go from focusing on the sexy chick to the otherwise mundane and technical process of putting on the condom.
One of the things that I’ve found helps with this is to go down on the other person while you’re putting on the condom, that way you’re still getting sounds and active sexual contact while you do it.
Condoms, in my experience, are not conducive to romantic sex. I have to throw it on and shove it in or else my “buddy” will change his mind as well. Plus, those damn magnums are expensive ;).
This should not, however, encourage you not to use condoms! I rarely have a need for them anymore because I have tended towards long term, monogamous relationships for the last few years. If you’re “hooking up” - wrap it up!
Hmm… It seems that little bit of stage fright isn’t the end of my embarassing ordeal. Looks like my buddy is putting off shows for a while. Oh man, I don’t know whats wrong or what to do.
-Don’t drink excessive amounts of alcohol before the show
-Get enough sleep
-Don’t get too much sleep
-Excersize
-Eat healthier
-Don’t play too many or too few scrimmage games before the season opener. This is a delicate balance that you’ll have to figure out on your own. It may take awhile.
Dude, let me tell ya’ when it did happen all I wanted to do for the next week or so is lay in the corner curled up in the fetal position with a double scotch-n-soda and cry myself to sleep.
If your anything like me, that’s the depression talking. Don’t worry it will pass.
Consider yourself lucky. The girl I was with wasn’t too understanding about it to say the least. She just laughed her ass off at me.
You know come to think of it; when I get older I could probably go seanile and forget the names of my children, forget the name of my mother or even forget the name of the city I happen to be living in; but one thing I WONT forget is that shrill of a laugh that girl had when I couldn’t perform that night.
ON a side note the next time I actually was able to perform (with another girl) I was practicaly dacing in the streets about it.
To decrease the time that’s spent solely thinking about the technicalities of getting the condom, have her give you head while you’re opening it, then stop right when you’re ready to put on the condom.
I had that problem the first chance I had to have sex, and even though the girl was cool about it, it really messed with my head. What’s worse, I didn’t have another chance to lose my virginity until two years later. Talk about self-doubt gnawing away at you! But eventually, everything works when it’s supposed to!
This is why you learn to put the condom on with one hand without looking at it. I’m telling you, this helps out no end. You don’t need to stop kissing and you can still caress her with the other hand. Makes you look smooth too.
Eh, shit happens. Try not to worry about it too much. The more you stew and fret over it, the more likely you are to continue having problems. My big rule for women to remember is this: You can’t have an orgasm if you’re busy worrying about whether your butt looks big. I think you’d do well to remember the male corollary: You can’t have an erection if you’re busy worrying about whether you’ll be able to have an erection.
Well it is probably that after the first time you are now psyched out about it. If you start thinking “Oh man I hope it stays hard” you can pretty bet that it won’t.
Use reverse psychology. Say to yourself “Don’t get a boner!” and you probably will.
Stupid penises!
God…I LOVE the SDMB. This is the male equivalent of a girls-only-talk thread, and I can eavesdrop! Or even join!
I’ve read that losing a hard-on is a big thing for some guys, but it still surprises me just how big. What’s so devastating about it? So, the worst that can happen is that you won’t have penis-vaginal sex that night. So what? There have been plenty other nights when you were together and didn’t have sex. What difference makes one more? And it means you can have the anticipation with that particular girl that much longer.
I’ve had guys lose their hard-on a few times, especially when he and I were the first time together. I think it’s endearing. If it means so much for a guy to be with me, so much he gets that nervous, that means he feels I’m special, no? In a way, it is the sincerest compliment a girl can get.
Ok, it’s time for desperate measures. The psychological pressure that comes from trying to perform after this kind of issue is normal, and there’s an easy way to deal with it.
Masturbate without finishing a few times. Great performance secret of the ancient Taoists. Not only will it work again, but it’ll work for quite a while.
Its been a couple of days, and its still not responding. Oh well, I’m gonna follow you guys’ advice and not fret over it.
Maastricht the bad part about it was that I hadn’t seen the girl for about a week. I finally got a chance to hang out with her, we had a great day, then the night came and we just started taking each other’s clothes off, it was very passionate. I put the condom on and when I got back to her, nothing. She was naked for goodness sake! I’m very thankful the girl I was with wasn’t like SHAKES’s girl, if I’m having trouble after this, I’d defiantely need therapy after that.
