And if someone mentions that the emperor is, indeed, wearing no clothes and the OP was massively at fault, often the person who points that out gets a backlash from the Sob Sis…I mean, Sob Dopers.
I sometimes have difficulty being supportive when I totally disagree with someone’s actions, but we are expected to be in MPSIMS.
What I hate (being in a different timezone) is when someone posts a needs help thread or a support x thread for someone I know & care about & I don’t see it till 12 hours later & anything useful that can be said has been said. I’m not a poet, I don’t have the stunning word-smithing skills that some of the posters do, how can I add anything to show that I care without putting a lame me too or {{hugs}} thing that just sounds like I’m jumping on the hug bandwagon & probably won’t help anyway? But if I don’t post something, I feel guilty, like I’ve ignored someone when they need me!
(Drop - of course the emperor is wearing clothes - goosepimples are in this year!)
Maybe we need a new forum. It could be called the Weeping and Hugging forum or something. It would be devoted to anyone who needs to share their pain over losing their beloved parakeet. And obfusciatrist could happily never read it.
Well, maybe I could read it when I need to decide on a side dish for dinner.
I’d go with D… I’ve been online for only a bit over a year but quite a few times I’ve ‘met’ people who needed a shoulder to cry on and stuff… unfortunately I usually get myself sucked into being that shoulder (not that I don’t mind it sometimes) I try not to get involved in those threads a lot because several times I have been burned and its just easier on me because I take a lot to heart.
robinh I should probably check out that book… that explains why I am more likely to be found reading a book in my room then talking with the family or something like that (unfortunately people want me to run around and be polite and stuff… which I hate and your right it is tiring)
Since a couple people mentioned it, I’ll give the book title and author again: Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
In addition to the extrovert/introvert discussion, it has some interesting insights into the various ways that some people are more sensitive to their environments. I kept saying to myself, as I read, “that’s me…and that’s my son, too!” I had no idea, for instance, that everyone doesn’t have to line up the seams on their socks just so, that they don’t have to tie their shoes with just the right amount of tension, which must be absolutely equal on both shoes, etc. I’d always done that sort of thing for my kids anyway (cutting out tags, no itchy fabrics, etc.) because I would want it done for me, but it wasn’t a conscious thing.
Bringing it up to a conscious level allowed me to be more proactive in smoothing his way in the world. It certainly made for an easier toddler stage for him. Now, at 8, he does it for himself. I have seen him, at a birthday party that was getting to loud and intense for him, manufacture an excuse to get away from the group for 5 minutes to give himself some breathing room. He brings me his shirts so I can cut out the tags, and takes his time each morning putting his shoes on just so. I continue to do my part by checking the labels in his shirts before I buy them, as he can tell, by feel, the difference between 100% cotton and a cotton/poly blend.
Hijack over!
I gots to go with B.
I’ve given this a fair amount of thought as well, Obfus. (what is the abbreviation for your name, anyway?) I tend to agree with the “I’ve only read 5 of your posts, So I really don’t give a shit about your great uncle’s case of gout.” Which is of course not to say that I wish any ill will on any of you here (OK, I may wish it on a minute fraction of you ;)) But, as Eve touched on in her post, it’s a gray area to me as to how well I even “know” you people. So I can’t really say I care about people that you know that I have never even thought about.
But I would never come in here and drop bad news about my grandmother’s passing, or whatever else. I guess I fail to see what the point of it is, other than a plea for attention. Well, Let me qualify that. I shouldn’t say that every time someone does this that it is a plea for attention, but I can’t picture myself doing it without it coming off like a plea for attention. If that makes any sense.
But of course, there are exceptions, such as the thread where we learned of Wally’s passing. He was a person that we all “knew” probably as well as we can “know” anyone in this type of environment. So of course we’re all going to want to know news about him.
I guess that I feel posts such as those the OP refers to are better served in a mass email to your friends/family (point being, you have a specific, intended audience and not just a general “HEY EVERYONE, HERE’S PERSONAL NEWS ABOUT ME.”) But of course, being that this was posted in IMHO, that is of course just MHO.
And for that matter, I don’t really mind the MPSIMS thread such as (I’m making this up) “I broke my leg yesterday”. As long as it is presented in a factual, storytelling kind of matter rather than a ‘I really need a hug, guys’ kind of matter.
Blah. Enough Rambling.
d. However, there are different cliques on this board, and some people I care about more than others. So I usually just don’t read the threads of the people I don’t care about.
But I don’t want people praying for me. I just have an odd feeling when people I don’t know/ or know very well are asking their god to help me out. It’s not something I’d ever impose on people.
I read many of these threads, and while I don’t see them as “creepy”, not responding makes me feel standoffish and cold-hearted. So in that sense, I don’t like them. Like obfus said, maybe I’m broken.
I’ve often thought of bringing something similar to the Board, but it just doesn’t seem right. But it does seem like people have been genuinely helped.
And like Eve, I talked to real friends about Wally’s passing. They didn’t get it.
(b) and (d), I guess.
ultress: Uh, excuse me? It wasn’t a smartass remark, it was a very simple sentiment: If you don’t like what is being posted, don’t read it. I was going to elaborate on it, but I thought that one sentence would get it across easier. Some people feel they are part of a community here (I don’t, to tell the truth), and treat it as such. Some find support in the perceived community. With the number of regular posters at this board, you’re going to have different expectations of what they want out of the board. Hence, you will see things you do not like. When you do, ignore them.
Wow. This is my first two page thread!
You like me! You really like me!
I’d get all weepy or something but then tatertot would probably hug me and then I’d have to kick the dog again.