he better know me very, very, well, because i’m a rather picky eater and an expensive dinner will go uneaten.
Why is “she” fighting words? I have never heard that before.
According to an old rule of etiquette, it’s rude to refer to a woman, especially your mother, and especially in the lady’s presence, as “she.” You are supposed to use her name.
Ever hear the saying “‘She’ is the cat’s mother”? It was once a common rebuke to children for referring to their mother or other women as “she.” I imagine some older people may still use it.
I know, it doesn’t make much sense to me either. But that’s why.
ETA: Here’s a link that articulates it a little better.
Well you learn something never everyday.
I guess that you didn’t get the Memo that all females are just incompetent about money, and that business transactions, even something like ordering something to eat, are just too much for our fragile little minds to cope with.
It’s also a way for men to express power over the women they’re socializing with. The man is supposed to be more sophisticated and knowledgable about EVERYTHING, except those areas which are designated as Female, such as cleaning, childcare, and home cooking. So it’s OK for a woman to know how to make a meatloaf or a pot roast, but a Real Man knows how to order food at a restaurant much better than any silly woman. Plus, of course, it protects the woman from ordering a meal that is too expensive for her date’s wallet.
Huh. Usually I order for everyone at the table, because usually I’m the only person at the table that speaks the language. 
My boyfriend orders for me only when he knows what I’m going to order, or if we’re sharing a bunch of dishes. I can’t imagine him ordering for me in any other situation.
My wife usually wants me to order for me. As other posters have said though, it’s not like I also choose what she is having, I have been informed by her beforehand what to order.
Oh, totally, which is why I said that I try to get a read on a woman before I do this. As you’ve read in this thread, some women really like being taken care of, and I love it when I can make a woman feel pampered and loved.
But I HATE trying to control women.
I don’t get why you assume that I assume that. I specifically said that I do it once in a great while and I try to get a read on a woman before I do it. When in doubt, I let a woman order for herself.
And it’s not about being paternalistic, or controlling, or abusive. Some women enjoy it when a man leads.
Sorry for the delay, I just found the thread again.
I can’t say why ‘she’ is such a sore spot, but, just don’t do it!
The first time I heard it, my brother, referring to my mother in the third person to my uncle, said, “…bllah, blah, she said so.” pointing at my mother.
My uncle gave him the stare of death, and said “Your mother’s not a she. (Pointing to his convenient female dog) *That’s *a she.” I thought that mindset was exclusive to my uncle, but, since I got the heads up, I kept my ears open, and found it wasn’t a good thing. With *my *people, at least.
Best wishes,
hh
So, how is this supposed to work, anyway? If I tell a story involving me and my wife, I’m supposed to say “Liberty3701 and I were at the river and Liberty3701 says to me that Liberty3701 doesn’t like Liberty3701’s new professor at Liberty3701’s school?” That seems damn awkward. Can I not use any pronouns with any females? Is there a different pronoun we can use?
This depends - if its a Chinese restaurant my wife will normally order for us in Chinese (funny that - I don’t speak the language)
But if we are ordering totally from the menu, and the order can be made in English, I will (mostly) order for the whole table (provided I can remember everything), while indicating to the waiter who is getting what.
My wife (seems to) prefer me to order - it falls into the same sort of vein as taking care of here or psudo cooking I guess.
It’s “The lady will have the coquille St. Jacques.”
My husband knows very well that if I go to wash my hands before the menus come, he should order me a Diet Coke. I will do the same for him; though he sometimes orders an iced tea or a lemonade, I will not be censured for my choice.
My mom often encourages my dad to let her order for him. My dad has this utterly awful knack for choosing the worst item on the menu; he’s always disappointed and ends up liking what my mom orders for herself much more. So a few years ago, she started strongly encouraging him to let her order for him. He often relents, and is always hugely satisfied with his meal. FTR, she doesn’t order the same thing for both of them, she’s just better at menu decoding than he is.
Yeah, I do that for friends and the SO. SO still hasn’t tried sushi, so whenever we do, it’ll be like that. But like in the movies? That can’t possibly still happen.
When I was learning about dating back in the 1980s, the rule was “Ladies order from the middle of the menu”. I actually knew a woman who would order the most expensive meal on the menu, *whether or not *it was something she liked. I always thought that was an assholish thing to do.