Francesco Schettino walks into a bar.
“I’ll have a whisky,” he says.
“Sure,” says the barman. “Is that straight up, or… uh… never mind”
Francesco Schettino walks into a bar.
“I’ll have a whisky,” he says.
“Sure,” says the barman. “Is that straight up, or… uh… never mind”
I posted this twice on the SDMB already.
An Apple computer walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll it be, Mac?”
A sheep walks into a bar and the barman says, “Hey you’re barred.” And the sheep tries to bargain with the barman about why he is barred but the baritone barkeeper barrages him with barnyard barracking until other barflies on their barstools barely understand.
So the sheep says, "Bah!’ And he just fucks off.
A ballerina walks into a barre.
My favorite, so far.
This one is pretty clever.
A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the prehensile tongue?”
Original Joke:
Creation-Man Walks Into Bar.
Division.
Aladdin walks into a bar and says, “Get me a djinn.”
A Cockney walks into a bar. “Oi was 'ired to milk cows. Where are they, then?”
The bartender says, “This is a bar, not a barn.” Seeing the Cockney still looks confused, he says, “There’s no n at the end.”
“Oi don’t care where the bloomin’ 'en is! Oi was 'ired to milk cows!”
Superman walks into a bar. Repair costs estimated at $15,000.
A Doper walks into a bar located in the Mariana Trench, and leaves 15 minutes later, and never returns.
I am changinng it to…
Descartes qui ambulat in thermopolium, minister dicit: “Heus tu es …”, vino minister dicit, “heus tu non es …”
Descartes interpellat: “Cogito ergo”.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar.
The letters ‘i’ and ‘u’ and wallk into a bar.
“What’ll you have?” ask the bartender
“A beer for me,” says the letter U.
"And what about you, "asks the bartender of the letter I.
“U wants a beer,” says the letter I.
"It doesn’t matter what I wants, "says the bartender.
“Of course it does,” says the letter U. “I wants a red wine.”
“I thought you wanted a beer,” says the bartender.
“U DOES want a beer,” says I.
“I do not want a beer,” says the bartender.
“Correct,” says the letter U. “I wants a red wine.”
“And U wants a beer,” say the letter I.
“No I do no want a beer! Now get out, before I call the cops!”
“But I would never do that!” says U.
“Why…”
“Yes?,” says the letter Y sitting nearby.
No.
Chuck Norris walks towards the bar…and it gets the hell out of his way.
I love this one. I do think it would have been better without the “deliberately”.
A jockstrap walks into a bar. The bartender says “We don’t serve your kind here.” The jockstrap says “That’s okay. I’m just here to hang out.”
A bartender walks into Amman. He didn’t find a job.
In Soviet Russia, bar walks into YOU!