Ken Watanabe…droool…
George Clooney…yummy.
OKAY, it’s time for WhyNot’s Snark and Stars Oscar Gown Wrap-up!
My qualifications? None. I’m opinionated, that’s all.
My memory? Spotty. Luckily, the New York Times has a slideshow of the red carpet on their Oscar page to jog my memory.
Nicole Kidman’s would have been nice without that bizarre bow protruding up behind her Stepfordian head. (Anyone else think she was on a LOT of drugs last night? She’s usually so bright and charming, and it just seemed like there was nobody home last night.) I kept waiting for someone walking 10 feet behind her to step on that thing and jerk her back like a startled poodle on a leash.
Loved Kate Winslet’s, of course. Damn girl would look amazing in sackcloth, and that dress was anything but.
Penelope Cruz looked fucking ridiculous. Even all that feathery floof couldn’t balance out her disturbingly large head.
I liked Gwynth Paltrow’s dress from the front, but the way the pleats ran across her butt was unflattering from behind.
Beyonce looked fabulous, as did the other chick from Dreamgirls who I don’t know (the one who won).
Anne Hathoway’s dress had a great shape, but I didn’t like the blocky black chunks on it - it was a flowing curving dress with jarring sharp edged black shapes.
Cameron Diaz - ouch. Horrible dress, just a mess.
Jodi Foster’s was an okay dress, it just seemed about three inches to low. Not too low cut, but too low. I would have shortened the neck strap and hiked the sisters up a bit.
Maggie Gyllenhal looked great. I loved the color and the cut, and the assymetrical strap really worked for her.
Reese Witherspoon? I guess the dress was okay, but I was too distracted by the chin. Girl needs to put a few pounds back on to round out her face again. It’s getting disturbingly sharp.
Hellen Miren. Stunning. Amazing. I loved it.
Kirsten Dundst. Waaaaaah? I have no idea what she was trying to achieve there. But if it wasn’t “Hello Kitty meets Bea Arthur”, she failed.
Meryl Streep. Meryl, Meryl, Meryl. A good swing and a miss. Going for eclectic bohemian, ended up with “would you like a shave with that haircut today?” Seriously, she looks like a hairdresser. Huge baggy wrap arounds do not merit strappy stillettos. Sorry.
Cate Blanchett, apparently decided to go AS an Oscar, if she couldn’t WIN an Oscar. Could that dress BE any tighter? Still, she does have to stuff to carry it off, and she looked gorgeous.
Paging Naomi Watts…your dress is going to fall off, catch it, quick!
Is Jennifer Lopez pregnant? If so, I love her gown, great maternity glamor. If not…um…oops.
But my favorite gown of the evening was…Abigail Breslin. Seriously. Gorgeous gown, every girl’s perfect fantasy ball gown, and not inappropriately sexy. She was beautiful, not cute. Beautiful. I loved everything about her look - hair, makeup, dress. Just perfect.
Does Queen Latifah ever not look amazing and appropriate?
No, never.
Thanks, I forgot her. Gorgeous. That’s all there is to say. Gorgeous.
Good gawd…I know she knows how to do this…evidently she just doesn’t give a shit anymore. I half expected her to be dragging a shopping cart behind her. Utterly ridiculous. It’s even dumber than Diane Keaton’s leather get up from a few years ago.
Nicole Kidman’s dress reminded me of an old campfire tale about a woman who always wore a ribbon tied in a bow-knot around her neck. At the end of the story, someone unties the bow and removes the ribbon, and the woman’s head falls off.
In reading these prior posts, I’m snorting out loud , the line about Naomi Watts looking like Charlie Brown - that dress was not flattering! Especially w/ her standing next to Statuesque Nicole - who’s dress I thought draped her beautifully…other than that giant bow at her neck! Oh, and there was definitely something going on there w/ injections.
Thank god Jennifer Hudson took off that Star Trek shrug, and I was also waiting for a “wardrobe malfunction” while she was performing, as those girls did NOT want to stay in that dress.
I thought Reese looked beautiful, as she did at the GG’s, but she is definitely going through a “break-up diet.”
I couldn’t quite figure Meryl out…the jacket was lumpy, and then several huge chunky necklaces all looped around her neck? I guess she feels she can get away w/ it, who am I to say? She was quite frumpy at the GG’s as well.
I really thought that cornflower blue (or whatever) looked gorgeous on Jody Foster; from dress to assessories…really made her eyes pop.
Did anyone else feel Clint was kind of not firing on all cylinders? I hate to say that, as I’m a big fan, but…he mentioned something about his glasses…hope that’s all there is to it.
Keisha Whitaker’s dress was awesome from the front. But I wasn’t in love with the flower applique on the back. They should have left it plain. She was a knock-out, though.
LOVED: Reese Witherspoon, Penelope Cruz, Diane Keaton, Helen Mirren, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster
HATED: Naomi Watts, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Hudson (red carpet), Anne Hathaway, Meryl Streep, Kiki Dundst, Mrs. Forrest Whittaker
QUIBBLES: Gwenyth Paltrow’s dress drew an “eh” from me but her make-up was terrible. JLo’s dress made her look preggers or pudgy – and Mr. JLo looks more like he’s about three days out of the crypt every time I see him. I liked Nicole Kidman’s dress except for the big nasty neck-eating bow. Jennifer Hudson (performance) had a great dress but she looked one deep breath away from a serious wardrobe malfunction, so major points off for that.
RE: Clint - I think he’s got a hearing problem going on, too. I saw Dina Eastwood whispering in his ear frequently - and a few times he actually looked like he was saying “What did they say?” before she did.
VCNJ~
For fun post-Oscar fashion dish, I highly recommend Go Fug Yourself. The Fug Girls also did a real-time blog of the Oscars for New York magazine that’s a pretty hilarious read. It’s linked to from their site or you can find it here.
I love those bitches. 
Kirsten Dunst…Ok, I just don’t think that sleeve is EVER formal. It always looks like a t-shirt to me. Strappy or sleeveless or long sleeves. But not short! Ever!
Thanks, VCNJ, for the note about Clint…sadly, it would seem age is finally catching up w/ him - prior to last night, he amazed me every time I saw him.
And Jodi, thanks for that link to the Fug girls…I’m still snickering over those pics and commentary, and figured I must’ve been on a bathroom or pc break, having totally missed Faye, Sally Kirkland (WTF???), and Keisha Whitaker’s view from the back (Double dog WTF!!!). Also, glad they mentioned Jennifer’s performance “almost wardrobe malfunction”, cuz I was almost watching w/ one eye open, waiting for that one to pop right out!
I liked Helen Mirren the best. Absolutely gorgeous. I also liked Cate Blanchette, though the dress seemed a bit tight. Nicole’s dress would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the weird bow. My husband couldn’t stop giggling about it and thought it looked like a hood. Though that picture Shayna linked to scared the crap out of me. :eek:
When I first saw the pictures of Keisha Whittaker from the front, I was like, “What’s everyone complaining about? That dress is beautiful!” Then I saw the back shot. Holy crap. Kirsten Dunst was really bad too. It was like someone decided to see how many different design elements could go into one single gown.
Where’s the hate for Eva Green? As awful as Jennifer Hudson, Anne Hathaway, and Nicole Kidman looked, Eva’s Morticia-Adams-in-an-Ace-Bandage was the worst of the night (excluding Sally K, who disqualified herself on grounds of literal, tragic insanity). Eva’s hair was bad, her makeup was even worse than Rachel Weisz’s, and that dress is just hideous! Plus, apparently she tried to stuff her bra with packing peanuts.
I agree, but I didn’t include her because I don’t know who the hell she is.
I didn’t know who the hell she was either, so was checking, and also on Sally Kirkland, trying to come up w/ a reason for that outfit. Amusingly enough, wikipedia has already updated her article to say: “She will perhaps be best remembered for the memorable outfit she wore the 2007 Academy Awards” :smack:
Oh my…that really *is * tragic. Stars Without Mirrors. It’s a trend.
It wasn’t at the Oscars itself, but Leelee Sobieski brought her A-game to an after party.
Reese Witherspoon and Helen Mirren were perfection.
Gwyneth would have looked nicer if she had played down her height, but as it was, she looked like a freakish giantess.
Of course, if you ask me, I’ll tell you that my girl was the prettiest, though. And her neckline spelled out her first initial, aww how cute.
