My coworker was chatting and in the course of conversation she said a couple of lines that, taken out of context, are amusing:
I can get it when I want it, but it’s a little weird sometimes.
and
My boyfriend had a small one.
The first sentence was a ‘complaint’ that her daughter uses her car more than she does. She can still get her own car when she wants it, but she finds it strange that her car is driving around without her.
The second sentence was when she was talking about dishwashers. Her old b/f had a portable dishwasher, which was about half the normal size.
Did your eyes pop out like Jack Tripper’s on Three’s Company?
A few years back when we were trying to resolve problems that were preventing orders from billing in time to run for fiscal year end, we were working into the night trying anything that would possibly work.
The next day, received an email from a co-worker saying nothing more than “you were fantastic last night!”
The story: I’m eating at a pizza shop w/ the girlfriend. I’m looking at the gf when a hottie walks behind her. I pay no attention. However, the gf spins around and watches her saunter across the room. I followed the gf’s eyes to see what she’s looking at, but when I turn back to the gf, she’s scowling at me for looking at the stranger.
The line to a friend, the next day, introducing this story: “Last night, my girlfriend did the dirtiest thing a woman has ever done to a man.”
Once I was walking through a store to hear a lady on her phone say “he doesn’t last that long unless I drug him”.
You can hear almost everything everyone says in the cube farm, so occasionally you get some really good ones. One row over someone was ordering lunch from the pizza parlor, and they were apparently having a hard time hearing her, so asked her to repeat. She ends up screaming into the phone, “Sausage!, A large sausage for Sandy!”