. . . I actually just heard someone say that in the hallway outside my office. Reminds me of when the elevator doors opened up and two women stepped out as one was saying, “Thank goodness I’m usually unconscious when it happens!”
Any of you partially overheard bits of conversations that leave you tantalized and mystified?
I once walked into where I worked and was greeted with the words:
“The fire’s out!”
That has to be one of the ultimate mixed messages.
I was on the way out of a restaurant on Sunday and passed 2 women who were going in. It was about 1:30 in the afternnon and both ladies were nicely dressed as if for church. As the door shut behind them, I heard one woman say to the other, “I need to wash my hands before we eat – after I picked up that dead rat and all.” ???
A friend and I were having dinner at a chinese restraunt and we heard just one bit of this older couples conversation:
“Well you know they’re all vampires.”
The looser cruiser that takes me from the dorm complex to the campus has also offered me some interesting snipits:
“I am so Jesus.”
“Fifteen? Shit, this means jail doesn’t it.”
“Really, wow, that’s going to definetly leave a mark.”
A friend of mine and I were at a restaurant in Oxford next to a table of “arty types,” one of whom was earnestly discussing a film he’d recently seen. We didn’t hear all of the conversation, but the bit we did hear was enough:
“…There was a side plot concerning a man, his wife, and a Thai transvestite. That part of the film was narrated by the transvestite’s dog, in iambic pentameter.”
I want to be the one overheard… when the elevator doors open to a crowd in a lobby, I want to be saying to my companion: “…but hiding the body wasn’t nearly as tough as I’d expected.”
Would that be an interesting psych study or what?
OK, so I’m easily amused…
This might freak you out, FCM, but Alfred Hitchcock once did something very similar to this. He got on a elevator with a friend (who later relayed the story) and began speaking as though continuing a conversation (I’m paraphrasing here): “So the blood was everywhere, and I’m standing there holding a knife. I realized I was in a terrible position. I replaced the phone’s receiver – it was obviously no help now. I pushed the bathroom door open, and she was in the bathtub, completely naked. There was more blood in here than in the bedroom. At that point --”
At that point, the elevator doors opened, and Hitch and his friend walked out, leaving behind several people with their mouths hanging open.
Hitch was SO cool.
Another fun elevator joke:
Wait until the elevator’s crowded, then begin muttering under your breath. After a moment, hit yourself on the forehead repeatedly, screaming “SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!”
Guaranteed to clear the place out.
I’ve done that! My friends and I were on vacation in some hotel and as we walked past a group of people getting on the elevator and I would say, “… ,but if you stab them in the stomach they squirm too much, I learned that the hard way.” or “… the bitch was screamin bloody murder and all I could do was stab, stab, stab, ya know? Tough situation.”
They would nod their heads knowingly at that point. I’ve never seen peoples faces contort that way since.
Once I was with my sis and her hubby grocery shopping and they were talking about getting a stand-up deep-freeze. As we were walking past the open-front milk case I said, “Yeah, those horizontal ones are only good for bodies.” Some stocker behind the milk dropped something big and made of glass. CRASH!
I heard that FDR once greeted everyone at some White House event with the words, “I murdered my wife tonight.”
No-one called him on it. They all figured that they had misheard it or something.
I was once loaning a friend of mine who I work with a number of books. I had placed them in a box in my trunk. Before we started working, we walked out to my car and I showed him the box. We decided it was too heavy to move now and I would move my car next to his after work so I could put the box in his car. We then walked back inside.
There was about a dozen of our coworkers standing out in front of our workplace smoking cigarettes before work. They had a clear view of my friend and me walking out to my car, opening the trunk, looking at the something in the trunk, having a conversation, then closing the trunk and walking back. As we reached the crowd, I turned to my friend and said “So after I cut up the body, how many garbage bags do you think I’ll need?”
A girlie friend and I were running very, very late and needed to rush to catch a bus we really had to be on. She didn’t know London so well and we had to run, a lot. Through streets, up and down tube escalators, along platforms, short cuts through department stores, it was heroic although she was always struggling to keep up in an unfamiliar city. Girlie wasn’t entirely amused that I was shouting “It isn’t my baby. Leave me alone. Take another urine test. What about that guy during the Bee Gees concert” the whole time. Seemed a good idea at the time.
Used to do that a lot, almost all grown up now.
Oh, Fairy, you reminded me—Ukulele Ike and I WERE the ones overheard! We were having drinks at the Blue Bar and talking about the SDMB, and I said, “I know WAY too much about Satan’s sex life!” We got Odd Looks, I can tell you.
“When you’re talking hitting balls for distance; the harder, the better.”
Almost a zen-like phrase… until you know I overheard it in a pro shop.
The version of this I heard was that, after standing in far too many receiving lines where everyone says the same thing, over and over and over, he started saying something like “I killed my grandmother last night”. Everyone said “Hello, it’s nice to meet you, too”, until the ambassador from Somewherestan paused and replied, “I’m sure she had it coming”.
I’m riding the elevator to the ground floor after a particularly bloody session of Unreal Tournament after work. An innocent-looking lady from the healthcare company on the top floor hears something to this effect:
“Yeah, so Bryce was hanging out on that top ledge above the door and I see him from across the room. So I whip out my sniper rifle and blow half his head off. The bastard falls off and lands in a pile on the ground. I felt so damn gooooood…”
The lady was not impressed, and, I’m sure, not entirely aware that we were talking about a video game.
I worked at a video store when I was in high school (think Randall in “Clerks”).
One day these two ladies walk in, continuing a conversation. One says to the other, “Yeah; Bob’s had that diahrrea. So I stopped and got him a two-liter of 7-Up.”
7-Up is a cure for “that diahrrea?”
???
Overheard today in the hallway at school:
Guy 1: “You just whipped it out? Right there in your car in traffic?”
Guy 2: “Well, it was a stop sign.”
THespos,
I’ve done that on several occasions, being the total UT junkie that I am ([hijack]So get your butt over to my UT thread and share! :)[/hijack]
I played TacOps (a UT modification) one time and was talking about it a little too loudly at a bar once. “So I came around the corner, and surprised this guy. I shot him once in the chest with a shotgun, but he didn’t go down, so I shot him one more time, and blasted him across the knees. He fell like a house of cards!”
Right about then, I realized that I was perhaps a little too enthusiastic, judging by the fact that people were frankly staring at me from several nearby tables.
"Ummmm…just a computer game. See…uhh…never mind…
Hamish wanted me to tell you that the one he’ll remember forever is, two women jogging along, and one says to the other: “The next guy I date has to have…”
…WHAT? Augh! Tell me tell me tell me…
Simple, yet incredibly compelling.