Overheard statements, the good ones

Today I was overseeing the computer system install at one of the Taco Boy restaurants in Grand Rapids MI. It was “Taco Tuesday” and the place was pretty much line out the door, all day long, busy. Somewhere near around 7:30 there was almost a lull, only two people in line, the few booths in the place were occupied.

There was a momentary silence, which would have probably gone unnoticed, except for this little girl’s question. “What’s a felony?” At least 4 or 5 people slowly rotated their heads towards the sound (myself included) as it was truly one of those moments where silence is broken by an uncomfortable statement.

The girl was maybe 6 or 7, and was oblivious. Her dad however, saw everyone looking at him and managed a “Gotta love spongebob!” comment in order to excuse his daughter’s unintentionally public question. He was visibly uncomfortable.

I suppose it was one of those “had to be there” moments, but those present had a good laugh.

Since there are entire web sites devoted to the overheard, I’m sure there are more than a few gems to be shared on the Dope.

This from my blog a while ago**:**
The Three Major Food Groups

There were two guys behind me in line today at Grocery Outlet, two young adult males. They chatted amiably like brothers or good friends; one guy came off like maybe the big brother or mentor to the other guy a little bit.

They had three things on the checkout stand**:**
A package of that pre-cut salad stuff.
A box of Fruit Loops.
A fifth of vodka.

As we neared the checker, the big brother said to the younger brother,
“Now, you sure that’s all you need?”

To which the other replied,
“Yup – salad, Fruit Loops, drink. That’s all.”

I don’t know who he is, but I like that guy.

“The difference with getting married is that you can’t hook up as much.”

Heard this walking out of a restaurant. I was with a couple cousins, including one who was recently engaged. We all looked at each other - “Did you hear that?”

A friend of mine and I were playing tourist in Manhattan in the early 80s. Another friend of mine who lived in NYC suggested, nay insisted, we visit the Erotic Baker. We went - the place was interesting, and I thought fun. While we’re looking around at the cakes and cookies and candies in amusing shapes, a customer is talking to the man behind the counter. I did not hear her question, but the guy behind the counter said “I don’t know ma’am, I’ll ask.” Then he turned to the back of the shop and yelled in a thick Noo Yawk accent “Hey, Chahlie, can you fit ‘The bigguh they aww the harduh they fall’ on a medium penis?”

Only in New York! :smiley:

“And when I was in Peru, I ate some coca leaves…”

Said by some girl talking to (I guess) her boyfriend. They were standing outside the Fordham U. law school at the time.

OK, that one made me laugh out loud!

Marley23’s story reminded me of a very swanky event I attended at my then-boss’s country estate. There were a handful of us from the agency who had been invited as a special perq, and we were rather out of our league, a fact that was brought home to me when I heard a woman at another table asking the person next to her, “So, where do you stay when you go to Machu Picchu?”

OK, another one. While working for the State of West Virginia, I had to go to another state agency in an adjacent building to pick up some paperwork. (This was in the dark ages when computers were not ubiquitous.) There was another person there waiting for something. A harried-looking worker finally came out with a sheaf of papers and said apologetically to the person waiting, “I’m sorry that took so long. We only have one Wang and two girls have to share it.”

I was in the cafeteria at my office last week, and overheard a conversation between one of our security officers and the counter staff:

“I really love scrambled eggs and spam.”

“Ah, I don’t like spam!”

There was clearly only one thing to do: I walked back through the cafeteria singing, “Spam, spam, spam, spam…”

When in Rome…

Probably ten years ago, I was at the laundromat folding my wash.

As I was folding my clothing, a man and a woman began to take their clothing out of the washing machines and place them in the dryers.

They were sorting their clothing and discussing which pieces could go in the dryers. The man clearly had not handled as much laundry as the woman had.

So the man held up a woman’s shirt and said to the woman he was with:

“Can this go in the dryer?”

The woman said, “Is it my good chuch shirt?”

The man said, “I don’t know.”

The woman said, exasperated, “Well, is it the one with the hole in it?”

Woman to her grandson at an Oakland A’s game:

“Do you want to sit in Grandma’s seat and be far, far away from Daddy?”

Man to a woman at another A’s game:

“It’s like a Zen thing. The journey is more important than the destination. Kind of like American Idol.”

Clearly I should be attending these A’s games. Being in Oakland and all.

You’re probably familiar with websites such as Overheard In NY where the public is invited to post snippets of ambient conversation they overhear. Many of the conversations reveal an ignorance of the world and/or a cultural blindness that is staggering. And these people are allowed to vote?

But the art is in the headlines. The poster is invited to include a headline offering a humorous take on the conversation but if not, the editors will compose one. Occasionally there is a real gem.

Remember the Time We Woke Up Handcuffed to That Goat?

Great to pull on a friend during a lull in the conversation at a small party. Hey, Joe …

Got a favorite of your own or a comment on this one?

adhay – I merged your OP into an existing thread.


From the other side:

Last night my friend and I were taking a trian home. We’d just watched Monty Python’s The Meaning Of Life, and we were discussing it… a bit loudly. As those of you who’ve watched know, The Meaning Of Life is a bit heavy on bodily humor, especially using the word “penis”. I tried to be, uh, vague, but I’m sure there are some people telling there friends about those crazy girls they overheard on the train. Oh, and we were also trading rapid-fire summeries of interesting scientific discoveries.

While we were waiting at the station for my father, my friend started singing “Every Sperm Is Sacred”. The place was deserted at the time, but just in case I stepped outside and said, “Um, if anyone’s listening, we’re quoting Monty Python. We’re not crazy.” Although that may have been a lie.