Parent Dopers: When did you announce you were expecting?

In My Humble Opinion
1

For the record, this is idle curiosity since I have no announcements of my own impending. I’m asking because I just figured out when a coworker is due - July. She told us that she’s pregnant in February.

  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    a. you or the other parent was informed?
    b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?
    c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online) you see often enough so they’d care? By coworkers I mean those you work with in general, not the people in the company who needed to know when you/she’d be taking a maternity leave or need duties adjusted.

  2. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”?

I ask #2 because even though I’m not a parent, I can see myself not being quick to tell people in group c. My mom had a few miscarriages, and I still remember being told about little siblings who never materialized, so I can see myself waiting until I was past my first trimester to tell anyone I wouldn’t feel obligated to inform sooner (a definitely needs to know right away, b probably has a right to know fairly early.) The coworker I mentioned is also in the process of adopting because they were told before they began they “can’t have biological children” which happily turned out not to be the case, and they’re looking forward to two kids close in age now. This in mind, no one is surprised she didn’t tell anyone sooner.

2
  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    a. you or the other parent was informed?
    My period was two weeks late when I had the test. We both found out at the same time.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?
Waited for the three-month mark. One friend guessed before then, though.

c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances?
Same, after the three-month mark.

  1. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”?
    Yes, I’d seen too many friends tell everyone the moment they found out, which made it worse when they had to deal with telling everyone they’d had a miscarriage.
3

I found out at six weeks-ish when I took a test on the offchance. My husband was away at work at the time, since I had been fairly sure I wasn’t pregnant so didn’t bother to wait till he got home. He found out about 4 hours later when he got home. I do feel a tiny bit guilty that actually my best friend knew before he did. I was in such shock that it came up positive that I called her so she could talk me down off the ceiling. He, bless him, doesn’t mind at all that she knew first.

We told my mum and his dad and stepdad the next day, and a number of friends in the following couple of weeks. Wider group of friends after the first scan at 12 weeks. Everyone else just kind of found out I think.

As for hangups: Thing is, this was our second pregnancy - we lost the first baby at 9 weeks, having told only my best friend and our parents. Even now very few people other than close friends know that when I was home sick for a couple of weeks it was the miscarriage and the grief that kept me away. Actually I find that quite hard - my baby was here and then gone and so few people knew that he or she even existed. If it happened to me again I’d want a balance between reluctance to have my pain public knowledge and wanting it at least acknowledged.

4
  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    **a. you or the other parent was informed? **
    The day we received the results of a blood test confirming it. Which means I was about 2.5wks at that point. We had done IUI (on April 1 no less), so we knew the timing and everything. We had been trying for so long and I was seeing my side of the family for Easter I felt we should at least tell the grandma to be. We called his parents up the same day to let them know.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?
I think we called his brother and told him, but my mom passed the word along to my brother n sister. I told a really close friend/coworker, since she knew were trying, another really close gf who knew we were trying and another closeish friend at work kinda figured it out one day. :smiley:

**c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online) you see often enough so they’d care? **
I told my boss (she also oversees HR) around 4-5 weeks, since I had doctor appt’s to go to, I was the only one in our dept and my job was fairly specialized. (We were going to hire someone else into the dept to help me out, but now it was important to find a replacement for me.) I wanted to make sure that while we were planning to add to our department, I needed to make known I was not going to come back after the baby - so a competent replacement was needed from the get go. My boss knew, but no one else - which was rather funny!

All of our friends found out at the 12 week/3 monthish mark. We were having a get together of RL friends/online gaming buds and the timing worked out great. I came to the party with a shirt like the ‘Baby on Board’ signs that read, ‘Epic Lewt on Board.’ Some people looked at me kinda funny (since I was in the habit of using Cafe Press to make crazy shirts for every party), and then asked; however, one of our friends happened to show up late. When he finally showed up he thought my shirt meant one thing, (he thinks he’s all that in the smarts department) and when we finally explained the shirt and was thoroughly confused. When we finally clued him in, he’s like ‘OMG!’ From there on out I’d post on our guild forums like ‘guess the sex, guess the due date.’ They even threw me a baby shower - again, a lot of people my hubby works with and friends of ours play WoW and we’ve come and gone through many mmo’s/places of work together.

Co workers that found out. I started to tell people here and there, because there was another girl at work who got pregnant after me, but no one ever knew about me! My new officemates I think around 9-12 weeks, since well they’d be working with a possibly grumpy/sick coworker and plus I needed to start training people ASAP. It was funny, I think I was about 4.5 months along and just starting to show (yes I went for quite awhile until I was looking preggy). We were sitting in a meeting and the other preggie girl was complaining about morning sickness and I was just a few weeks further along than her, so I said, ‘Oh I was lucky and didn’t have that problem.’ Everyone’s like, ‘what?!’ I said ‘Oh yea, I’m pregnant :)’ LOL

**2. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”? **
Not really, but there were some people my hubby wanted to tell, but I ended up telling them first. I felt and still feel bad about that, but we’re not friends with them anymore…

No hangups really, I just wanted to make it to the critical marks like 12 and 20 weeks to make sure everything was okay. 12 to tell everyone, 20 to reaffirm everything was okay.

5

Duh, I misread the first question :slight_smile: Add the original to ‘B’. Back to drinking more coffee

  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    **a. you or the other parent was informed? ** (edited misread the ?)
    I took a stick test 10 days after our IUI (on April 1 lol), since I really felt different. I told my hubby to watch the test - come on it takes less than 3 mins. Well I finished my shower and asked him about the test, he forgot about it!!! :smack: I said, ‘OMG…what if it doesn’t read right, and the results aren’t good after 10mins!’ :smack: :eek: :smack: Well, it read as a positive, so I was anxious all day about going to get my blood drawn. I took another test the next day and it was +. I got a call at work the next day with the blood results and the lady was seriously dragging the news out - and I was at work, on the floor of a call center place (so I couldn’t get overly excited). She told me ‘You’re gonna be a mommy!’ I started to cry, and then called my hubby at home and told him ‘we could pass the news along.’ Of course one of my coworkers figured it out :slight_smile:
6

Baby #1 - We were trying, so I peed on a stick the day my period was due. Bingo! Hubby was home that morning, and we called our parents right then. Immediate family (siblings) and closest friends were told immediately. Apparently, I forgot to tell my FIL that we were going to wait to tell extended family, because he started making calls that day. So pretty much everyone related to us knew within a week. I waited a couple of weeks to tell my boss, as I had just gotten a new job.

Baby #2 - We weren’t actively trying, but we weren’t trying to avoid very well either! I was maybe a week late when I went to Planned Parenthood to take a test. My husband was home sick from work that day, and I wasn’t giong to take a test with him in the house. So he found out about 15 minutes after I did. Again, we told everyone pretty much immediately.

We never waited to tell the people closest to us because they would be the ones to grieve with us if something went wrong and I miscarried. In fact, that happened to my husband’s cousin and his wife. Two days after they told the family, she miscarried. So instead of suffering alone, they had the support, love, and thoughs of dozens of family members with them. However, they waited until 12 weeks the second time.

7

I “knew” it when we had intercourse; just felt it was going to happen. But I do FAM, so it was confirmed that I was pregnant the day my period was due and my temps stayed high. I told my husband, but he didn’t believe me. Around 7 weeks I happened to be in a drugstore and passed the HPTs. I went ahead and bought one so I could show it to my husband.

I sprained my ankle when I was 2 weeks pregnant, and my friend came over to my house to do acupuncture on me. Since I knew that some of the acupuncture points on the foot and ankle can cause miscarriage, I told her I was pregnant so she could avoid those spots. I told other friends as I saw them after about 8 weeks.

I waited to tell my family until Thanksgiving (12 weeks), which was also my birthday. After I opened presents, I surreptitiously stuck a bow on my belly and exclaimed that there must be one more present…only I couldn’t play with it until June!

As it turned out, I had a c-section the first week of February, so my relatives only knew I was pregnant for 2 and a half months before I had a baby!

Hmm…I don’t remember. I was pretty isolated at the time; I didn’t have coworkers or acquaintances. I had my friends, and my family. I don’t think this third category existed for me. I guess “Dopers” would fill this niche, but I don’t remember when I told y’all. I know by 14 weeks I was spotting, and I asked some panicked questions about that, but I don’t remember if I announced my pregnancy prior to that.

In the three months before I got pregnant, two of my friends both got pregnant and both lost their babies around 7 weeks, so I did keep things mostly quiet until then. Except that the acupuncture friend was one of those friends, and I did tell her. She had not been ttc, and her loss was actually a bit of a relief, so she wasn’t upset or anything.

8
  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    a. you or the other parent was informed?
    I told the better half within an hour of seeing that pink line.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?
We waited about a week each time until we could tell family in person. Close friends were also told when it was convenient - no special phone calls, but mentioned in the next usual phone call.

c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online) you see often enough so they’d care? By coworkers I mean those you work with in general, not the people in the company who needed to know when you/she’d be taking a maternity leave or need duties adjusted.
I had to tell the people in the company the day after I found out for safety purposes. Gossip spread fairly quickly from there, so there was no need to tell people. They knew.

  1. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”?
    I didn’t go around broadcasting it for the first few months, but I didn’t try to keep it a secret either. I figured if something went wrong, I’d want those close to me to know anyway.
9

a. you or the other parent was informed? We had difficulty conceiving; my husband knew as soon as I got home from the doctor and had a confirmation.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed? Told my parents & sister shortly thereafter, but no one else.

c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances – I was teaching at the time of the first pregnancy, and waited until 2 weeks before the new school term, in case things didn’t work out. I did not want to give notice in May and then have to go look for a job in August. So I made the school system have to go look for a teacher in August instead. A couple of folks guessed anyway. Second time was not working, and told a lot of people early, which was a mistake, since I had a miscarriage at 17 weeks and had to deal with a lot of inappropriate remarks. Third time I told no one except family and close friends, unless people guessed and/or it became obvious.

10

1a. My wife told me immediately as to each of our three boys.
1b. We waited until after the first trimester to tell anyone about all three. She had some difficulty conceiving, and my sister had had two miscarriages after excitedly telling everyone and their uncle that she was expecting, so we wanted to be extra sure.
1c. Ditto.
2. Yes. My older sister wisely told us to wait as long as we could, and then not to give a specific due date, because we’d otherwise constantly have people saying, “Haven’t you had that kid yet? Wasn’t he due [date a week ago]?”

11

I can’t remember now, the text message I received to tell me is on a long gone phone.

We had a bit of a scare at the 12 week point, after a scan revealed that everything was all right, I introduced everyone to the scan picture that week.

Online? I think I mentioned it around the same time as family and friends. Coworkers I only had one of, I told her again at the same time as friends and family, the rest of the office consisted of cow-orkers and they found out when I applied for paternity leave.

Yeah, my g/f said 12 weeks was the point at which the pregnancy was deemed viable. We had a scare just at that point which reinforced the point. Another two couples who were expecting a few months after we had our Rosa had a miscarriage after having made many preparations, which sort of seemed to rub everything in for them.

12

1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
a. you or the other parent was informed?

About 3 weeks, I think. We’d been trying for a baby, and my wife tends to obsess a bit, so I think she was peeing on sticks on a near-weekly basis. She told me before the stick was even dry.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?
Our parents were told fairly soon - within a day or two. I think she told her friends pretty soon after that. I told my good friends by about the 6 week mark.

c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online) you see often enough so they’d care? By coworkers I mean those you work with in general, not the people in the company who needed to know when you/she’d be taking a maternity leave or need duties adjusted.
I told my co-workers around the 4-month mark, after the main genetic test results came back and everything looked good.

*2. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”? *
Yes.

13

[QUOTE=elfkin477]
For the record, this is idle curiosity since I have no announcements of my own impending. I’m asking because I just figured out when a coworker is due - July. She told us that she’s pregnant in February.

  1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
    a. you or the other parent was informed?

*I told my husband as soon as he woke up (I’d taken the pregnancy test one night when I had an attack of insomnia, then couldn’t get back to sleep because I was so thrilled.) *

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed?

I waited until the end of the first trimester (13 weeks) to tell family. My mom was a little miffed I hadn’t told her sooner, but my dad understood my concerns re: miscarriages.

c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online) you see often enough so they’d care? By coworkers I mean those you work with in general, not the people in the company who needed to know when you/she’d be taking a maternity leave or need duties adjusted.

I’m a radiation worker, so had to tell the radiation safety officer earlier than I felt I should tell my family. In general at work though, after 1st trimester, after telling my folks.

  1. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”?

Nope.

14

We had an unusual situation in that we conceived while waiting for our son to come home from Korea. Because of the timing and infertility, we basically “missed” the first trimester. We waited until he’d been home a bit before telling people because it just didn’t seem right to answer “what’s new?” with “baby…and another baby.” So we really didn’t tell too many people until the fourth or fifth month - and there were other people we didn’t see often we didn’t bother to tell at all (some found out when my kids were toddlers and they saw them together - I have professional friends that I don’t talk about my kids to who never knew). Part of this was avoiding the “I knew you’d get pregnant as soon as you adopted, it ALWAYS happens that way” meme. (Which is one of my top five pet peeves).

Now the weird part of the story…a good friend of mine was due the end of September - my due date was mid-October. She announced in February while we were waiting for our son, we didn’t know then. Our son came home in March. We found out we were expecting. We delayed saying anything to friends until late April or early May. My daughter was born early, in mid-September. She often says she had the longest pregnancy on record and I had the shortest simply because everyone knew about hers forever, and it seemed like people found out I was pregnant and I delivered within weeks. I think the longer you wait, the shorter your pregnancy will seem when you are close to delivery. Of course, if you want to get treated like a pregnant woman for all sixteen months of pregnancy (it just feels like that), tell early.

15

I told my husband right away “Honey, does this line look pink to you?” (a couple weeks along).

We told our families extremely quickly. We had planned on waiting a few months, but my mom called the day of my blood test and was sad because her cat had died. So I had to cheer her up - then once I told her, we had to tell everyone. In my (mom’s side) family, this is the equivalent of an ad in the NY Times. We have a saying: “Telephone, Telecom, Tell a Quinn.”

People at work found out relatively quickly as well. We told a few people and everyone knew within a couple months.

16

With both pregnancies, my husband was told the same day I found out (about 4 weeks along.)

I had morning sickness that was bad enough for me to miss a little work or come in late, so I told my boss and the woman I job share with around 6 weeks. The rest of my coworkers were told after the 12 week Dr. appointment. That was when it was declared open knowledge to anyone.

My close friends and family were told between 6-8 weeks. I wasn’t worried about my friends or family finding out too early - if I miscarried I would want them to know.

17

My thoughts on this changed, for the reasons given below.

(Many people will know that we lost our son after he was born and then had a miscarrage.

For our son;
1. How far into your/your partner’s pregnancy were you before:
a. you or the other parent was informed?
We weren’t trying the first pregnancy, but my wife’s cycle is so regular, we can set our clocks to it.) She know she was late and tested the next day. I knew 30 seconds later.

b. your immediate family and/or close friends were informed? Family immediately and close friends very soon.
**c. you told everyone else like coworkers and other acquaintances (in real life or online): Pretty soon after that. **

  1. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”?
    I didn’t at that time, she did.

About four months after we lost our son, she got pregnant again, and we knew immediately, told family and friends. A lot of people had been very support of us during the the pregnancy after we knew there were going to be problems, and so I think I was eager to to let people know that she was pregnant again, and all was going to be well.

Unfortunately, we lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks. Having to tell everyone about the loss really changed my thoughts, especially when people who I don’t interact that much would ask me how the baby was coming.

I decided after that that it was too soon.

After she became pregnant the third time, we told immediate family and a couple of close friends. I wrote on this board because of all the people who had been supportive, we waited until our doctor said that the chance of miscarriage had gone done.

To give my current answer to
2. Did you have any hang ups about telling people “too soon”? Yup. Only tell people you are comfortable sharing bad news with, because you just don’t know what will happen.

18

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I told no one at all until about seven months along, when I could no longer hide it. I didn’t think anyone was going to be happy about it, I certainly wasn’t, and I was just paralyzed by indecision. I wore loose clothes, sucked my gut in a lot, sat curled up in a ball, etc. Finally, so many people were starting to ask me if I’d gained weight that I was forced to tell.

My mom was happy once she got past the shock, and my daughter was born eight weeks later.