Parenting help for engineers!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So I have a new baby, you may have seen the thread. I’m an engineer by trade and inclination, which leaves me in an interesting position in that most books and descriptions of parenting seem to assume that I A) basically know what I’m doing and B) am willing to be imprecise.

Neither of these things are true.

I’m looking for answers/suggestions for media and such that can answer questions like “How much should I be even trying to interact with my 1-week old?” I feel like I don’t hold her/play with her enough, but she’s always asleep. Or demanding food. Should she eat every time she gripes about food? She’s got a pretty clear “I am hungry!” cry.

“What To Expect The First Year” is not helping me here.

2

Yep, feed her whenever she asks for it. Her stomach is about the size of her fist right now–you can imagine how quickly it empties. Or, well, you don’t need to imagine–you can see the output pretty well, I’d imagine.

All they really do at the beginning is eat and sleep. Hold her and try to interact when she’s awake, put her down when she’s sleeping. There’s not really much you can do with them that young, though. All they care about is feeling close to someone. Skin-on-skin contact is nice, although it may be unrealistic this time of year.

And you do know about the Miracle Blanket, right?

Upon re-reading the OP, I noticed your unwillingness to be imprecise. That needs to be the first thing to go. Parenting is very much a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants affair. Anyone who claims to have it down pat is delusional. Even the Duggars have to learn how to do it all over again, because every kid is different.

3

Oh, Lord, I know this feeling.

IANAE (I Am Not an Engineer) but Joe Kerrman in his natural state could be extremely anal and wound up and wondering why if A then B did not always follow. Believe me, four kids later, I’ve learned to relax a little bit. The second one is headed off to college now, so I guess it all worked out OK.

Please, just enjoy your baby. She won’t always be a week old. She’ll get cuter and more user friendly very soon. And if she sleeps a lot, count your blessings!

But, yeah, just hold her and feed her and enjoy what little interaction there is these days. It’s all on her schedule, too. It’s normal to be nervous and unsure. What the second one teaches parents (much too late to calm your nerves) is that no two babies are alike, so there is no right or wrong answer (well, outside of beatings, torture, slave labor …) :p.

It’s all very primal right now. She just has a few needs – food, touch, safety, sleep, cleanliness. But it’s good that you’re asking. And don’t let yourself get frustrated … it’s always best to take care of yourself too. :slight_smile:

Good luck!

JK

4

Engineers shouldn’t be allowed to have biological children :wink:

Even if both biological parents are engineers, genetics is weird, so your child might still be normal. :wink:

So there is no manual, or a schematic. You have to work it out, over and over again, each and every day. When in doubt, err on the side of love. One day you will realize you really are a parent, when you want to pick up your kid and toss him out of a window. Then things get worse from there.

From another thread, let me recommend this: Don’t sweat the small stuff. What kind of diapers you use, whether you let him eat a little more, and all those minor things will soon be forgotten.

The first year is pretty easy. You won’t be able to sleep, and you’ll be visiting the pediatrican on alternate days. Big deal. In return you get someone who things you are the morning and the night, the alpha and the omega. He/she will want to do anything you do, and anything you want them to do. And before long you will be doing anything they want you to do.

The books are telling you that you already know what you need to know, because you do. If the kid is hungry, feed him. If he’s sick, take him to the doctor. And the more complex stuff is unknown to everybody. Look back on your own parents. If you had good parents, do what they did. If you had bad parents, do something else. As for precision, well, I understand you are an engineer, but you’ll have to deal with it. There aren’t many real solutions, just temporary fixes.

Congratulations, best of luck to you and yours. Stop worrying.

5

Just keep in mind you’re not raising a miniature clone of yourself. You’re preparing a sentient being to live its own life. Guide without being overbearing. Admit when you make mistakes (if not right that second, then before grudges can build up). And for the love of guinea pig, give answers when your decisions are questioned by your child. If I could recommend any single thing, it would be that you scrub the phrase “Because I said so” forever from your vocabulary.

You can’t engineer the perfect child, or we’d already be doing that. And congrats on the tyke!

6

Bah. Get yourself a Tamzarian Box and you’ll be fine.
(I share your frustration at the lack of detailed, thorough textbook-like information out there. The Dudeling is transitioning from the bottle to solid foods. I don’t want a book half filled with oopy-doopy glurge and positive reinforcements of how great a parent I am, how he’s his own special little snowflake and blah blah … I want details on the nutritional needs of a miniature human, etc.)

7

A web tool for parenting engineers

8

1 week plus or minus how much?

9

An Engineer’s Guide to Good Parenting.

10

When in doubt add a 50% fudge factor. I think they covered that in my Intro to Chem E class.

11

ThinkGeek has a Baby Owner’s Manual.

12

Simple. Just use your Engineering Judgement[sup]TM[/sup]. :smiley:
Bur srsly, a one-week old is not going to need much other than milk and a dry diaper, other than being held and talked/sung to.

13

Use a safety factor of 2.
If you estimate you need to bring 5 diapers to the sitters for the evening bring 10, etc.