What movie/tv quotes do you use on your children? Today I used two.
4 year old: “I want gum!”
Me: “Get used to disappointment.”
9 year old: [mentions the milkshake she had while the 4yo was at school]
4 year old: “What shake?!” [which is sure to be followed by wailing and gnashing of teeth, with copious demands for a milkshake RIGHT NOW because it’s NOT FAIR!]
Me: “Never mind - these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”
4 year old: [forgets about milkshake due to extreme confusion]
My friend has a five year old, 3 year old, and toddler, and when she tells them to do something and they resist, asking “Whyyyyyyyyyy?” she tells them, “Winter is coming.”
4 year old: “I want gum!”
You: “You want some gum? You can’t handle the gum!”
To which the correct answer is “Why? Why, you little maggot, you make me want to vomit! You Goddamn communist heathen, you’d best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I’m gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don’t ya?”
From Parenthood:
“You know, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”
ETA: I have not actually used this quote on a kid, but the general idea is very true.
You’re making me feel sad that my kids will never ask me what my name is.
I will, however tell them coffee is for closers the next time they beg for my Starbucks.
Too many to list. When I want my son to pick up the other thing, not that thing I’ll tell him to “leave the gun, take the cannoli.”
“Screws fall out all the time. The world’s an imperfect place.” comes up regularly.
Paraphrasing John Candy as Uncle Buck, when he’s draggin’ ass in the morning and asks me if I’ll drive him to school I tell my son that I’ll drive him in my pajamas and slippers and walk him to homeroom. Suddenly he has plenty of time to make the bus. (Occasionally he has a legitimate reason to want a ride and I do drive him. I’m not a total meany.)
I recall Jareth’s response being “You keep saying that. I wonder what your basis for comparison is?”
Which I have not used but look forward to when Gothlette is a teenager. I have told her to “Stay on target.” when she’s getting distracted.
I’ve also used the Batman Begins line: “Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” But my husband felt it was a little much for a preschooler. She cries a lot less when she falls now, though. My parents used a ton on me and my brother, though I am of course blanking on them now.
A TV rather than movie quote (The Fairly Oddparents) but I used to say to my daughter all the time “I’m respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway!”
Sarah says it repeatedly, to many people, including Jareth. In this instance though, Hoggle (the dwarf critter) says it to her, and that’s her response, and part of her enlightenment.
The Princess loves to read, and occasionally she’ll start using a word she read and liked over and over again. I tell her, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Since DianaG mentioned TV shows, Bob the Builder’s catchphrase is very useful. When a toy breaks and the kid is despondent, “Can We Fix It?” can work wonders.