My BFF, “Sally,” is having problems with “Kate,” her 24yo daughter who lives with her and hubby.
-Kate is a college grad. has a FT job, and a car.
-Kate lived on campus for a semester and was otherwise living at home. She’s the only kid at home, my friends are upper-middle class professionals and don’t charge her rent or expenses. Kate is supposed to be saving to move out, but is not doing so.
-Kate attempted suicide five years ago via a handful of Tylenol, was hospitalized for a few days. Sally sets up and pays for Kate’s shrink appts, but Kate often blows the sessions off. She has some depression issues and smokes weed and drinks (unsure about other rec drug use, but very def probability). Kate wields her mental health as a threat against Sally (“if you kick me out I just might do something to myself”).
-Kate has one or so screaming blow-ups a month at Sally. They are more in the style of a 13yo girl screaming at her mother than what is expected of a 24yo (nominal) adult.
-Kate gets a lot of “you do this again and you’re out” warnings, but my friends don’t carry out the threat.
So, last night Kate blew up at Sally over a very trivial matter. She cursed her, spit in her face, then twisted her arm behind her back and pinned Sally against the wall. Hubby wanted to call the cops, but Sally stopped him. Kate has physically gone after my friend before, but not to this extent.
My advice to Sally was that this was the last straw and they should have filed assault charges and changed the locks. I suggested that they set Kate up in an apartment with first month’s rent; she isn’t going to save up money to leave and she needs to be out ASAP.
I am not a parent and haven’t experienced the joys and sorrows of having kids. What would you Doper parents do if your grown daughter was acting like this? Is my thinking overly harsh?