Does anyone have any first-hand experience with the “pass-your-drug-test” products that are on the market? Do any of them actually help? I am specifically concerned with marijuana/THC. Thanks.
Good luck. A damn good friend of mine lost out on a high paying job cause the one he bought did not work.
The best way to pass a drug test is to not do any. I know probably doesn’t help your situation. My recommendation would be to drink several gallons of cranberry juice each day until the day before your test. It helps purge your system of certain chemicals. Personally, I can’t vouch for the credentials of any products which allegedly assist passing such tests.
Like Nen said, don’t do any.
Geez, there’s a reason they’re testing you. They don’t want any drug users on their staff!
Well, everyone who has said not to do drugs, as a way of passing your test is of course correct. Duh! There is no better way. However, I don’t really think that answers the question you were asking. You seem to be asking how does one who wishes to use drugs pass a drug test.
So, I will give you my first-hand experience and advice. Naturally Klean tea. It should be in any herbal shop or health food store. It will cost you about 20 bucks. It comes in a few different flavors (they really aren’t that bad). There are 4 bags in the box, each making a quart. You boil a gallon of water, use all 4 bags and drink the entire gallon beginning 3 hrs. before your test. Plus take vitamin B to put color back in your urine. I used to use this all the time and it does indeed work. I don’t use it anymore because I don’t do drugs anymore (for the most part) and I find it is a lot less stressful should my company spring a surprise test on me. But you asked for info, so here it is.
and AWB, I don’t know if it’s so much the reason you gave, as it is image. Companies like to be able to say “we are a drug free company” because it is better for business. Of course I’m sure that ideally they don’t want drug users working for them.
This has nothing to do with my job. But thanks for the little lecture anyway. I really appreciate it.
My thanks to the other responses. I’m looking for specific brands that people have used and have had success with. I’ll check out Naturally Klean when I get home.
Ummm. I have a “friend” who has a fair amount of experience with this sort of thing. I’ll lay out some of the basics.
First off, you have to ask your “friend” how often he or she smokes. If it is once a month, the THC has usually been reduced to undetectable levels within a week or two, provided the testee smokes no more before the test. If, on the other hand, the testee is a “smoke two joints before I smoke two joints, and then I smoke two more” kind of person, some tests can nail such behavior forty-five or more days after the testee has gone cold turkey. There are a few options open to a person who is going to be tested, but they are dependent on the lead-time before the test, the nature of the test, and the level of THC the person is trying to disguise.
First option: “three hour tea” and variants. Okay, I have it on good authority that these things work. However, exactly how they work is open to debate. I’m inclined to suspect that most of these teas are simply diuretics. So you drink like six gallons of something that makes you pee like a racehorse for a day, and come test time your urine is so close to pure water it could be bottled by Evian. Warning: I had a pal who pulled this trick while on probation. Results came back, “we aren’t even sure this is piss”. He spent Christmas in the pokie. My suggestion is to take a Vitamin B or multivitamin to give your urine some color.
Second option: Go to boot camp. If you have, say, a month to prepare, go on a diet and exercise like you’re Rocky preparing for the big fight. THC is stored in fat cells. Burn a crapload of those cells down, and you’ve rooted out a lot of THC. Probably works well in combination with option #1 if you are–I mean your friend is–a heavy smoker with a couple of weeks to prepare.
Third option: sabotage. A few drops of bleach in your urine is sufficient to defeat most standard urinalyses. If you are conducting the test under semi-observed conditions, as in “strip to your underwear and take this cup to the men’s room”, a Band-Aid soaked in bleach just before the test can be worn on the finger, then vigorously swirled in the cup while in the toilet. This appears to have worked at least once. Other sleight-of-had tricks can be attempted if the test is performed under direct observation. Crystal Drano can be hidden under the fingernails, etc. Good luck on that one. I should add that some modern tests may look for tampering.
Fourth option: pray. In office-type situations, many drug test threats are just that: threats, sometimes used to scare off potsmokers from pursuing a job, or to put the fear of God into current employees. Even if it is for real, reliable drug tests are expensive, so if an entire office is tested, oftentimes only a random sample is selected. You might get lucky.
Fifth option: appeal! After the test, do not start back up again until the results are in! It can sometimes takes weeks for a result to come back to the authorities in question. If they come back positive, get indignant as hell, cite the disturbing “false positive” figures that urinalyses are notorious for, and demand a re-test. You should be in the clear by now if you weren’t. Of course, even if you are fully exonerated, suspicion will remain, and you are virtually guaranteed to be “randomly selected” the next time around. Your potsmoking career is at an end if you want to keep your professional career.
You’ll notice I said nothing about blood tests. Ain’t no way out of those, as far as I know. Good luck.
I hear quite a bit about them, but I don’t know any real statistics (or estimates). Does anyone know what the “false positive” rate is on urine and/or blood tests? I’m sure it depends on a number of factors, but I’d be interested in hearing about it.
The impression I get is that the rate is most definitely nonzero. If you go in there 100% clean, there is a finite chance of a positive result from the test.
I find it kind of disturbing, myself…
Go here:
I haven’t tried any of this stuff myself, I’m using the Temporary Abstinence Method, but they seem to know what they’re talking about. Especially read the FAQ closely.
Quite honestly, if you’re job hunting and you can’t stop smoking dope long enough to find a job, you’re smoking too much goddamned dope.
It’s not physically addictive, but it is psychologically addictive. If you’re actively job-hunting and STILL smoking, you have a PROBLEM.
As far as the OP…no idea what products actually work. Carry on, citizens.
Regarding FPs, Cyclops’ recommended site also offers this page.
And here you can find a quoted “false positive” figure of 10%. They note that this 10% is not “should have been negative”, simply “unconfirmed”. Probably a lot of those FPs are a result of my ploy #5 stated above.
That’s everything relevant and constructive I have to say. However…
[rant] I am of the mind that if some bastard wants to look at my piss to see what I’m doing in my own spare PRIVATE time, I will go to the farthest lengths to make such testing as expensive, unreliable, and suspect as I possibly can. This bullshit was started to make sure that people doing dangerous jobs weren’t doing drugs on the job. Today a boss can look into your private life as easily as he can look up your home address. That’s just disgusting, IMHO. [/rant]
I’ve worked with ex-offenders for 20+ years, so, much of my “piss-test” information is based on that. First of all the reasons why many companies have pre employment automatic drug screens and post employment random screens is because of insurance. they can get a break on their worker’s comp insurance b=cuz of that.
secondly, the only thing that removes stuff from your system is time. sorry. watering down your urine by drinking alot doesn’t really clean your bloodstream of drugs any quicker and does lead to the problem that was noted above (that your pee will soon be more like water and will trigger a different charge). while urine is the result of the kidneys clearing out the blood, the BLOOD doesn’t flow faster through the kidney’s just 'cause there’s more water going through the system. the bleach/drano I’d heard, too, but a savvy tester will discern these.
I’m assuming that you’re male. females have an out in terms of getting by drug screens if it’s the traditional pee into this bottle/cup routine. I know - I took drops on females for 14 years, came up with a way to trip that up eventually, too.
by the way, drinking vinegar, definately DOES NOT work…
the tests are highly sophisticated and accurate these days. but what this also means, is that they sacrifice a certain percentage of “false negatives” to keep the potential for “false positives” near zero. Each sample may be tested twice, first a general “gee is there something in there” -if that’s positive, then a more specialized “what is it” would be done. and each step, there will be some that fall into the “false negative” range to account for the individual results of all these 'you’ll pass urine test" gigs. Plus, it has been my experience that many drug users do not really keep accurate records of their use - for example, many times they’d think “I used 4 days ago”, but in reality, they used late Sunday night, the drop was taken early Wednesday morning, well within the range for many tests, and often don’t really know what they were taking - had many folks come up positive for opiates and insist their innocence - but they’d taken a tylenol #3 for example.
I’m not in the business anymore of telling adults how to spend their free time, but every action has potential consequences. I had a client to whom smoking dope was a priority in his life. to the extent that he was willing to accept as expected consequences of this lifestyle option periodic episodes of homelessness, and the selling of his plasma twice a month as part of his budgeting process. and more power to him.
As a consulting firm my employer sometimes sets up for several of our clients perspective employees to be tested. Some of those suplements which is supposed to provide a clean test, work, but some tests can detect the supplement itself, making the testing agency suspicious! (Why is so much of this ingredient in your urin)I don’t know which supplement this is, but I have it on good authority that this is true. I don’t use drugs, but I refused to take all 3 drug tests I was asked to take by my employer over the last 15 years. I told our current district manager that if he ever asks me for one without probable cause I am going to whip Mr. Johnson out and give him his sample right there. Stunned by this, he has not requested such a test from me in the 6 years he’s been there! I suggest you look for work at a place with a more libertarian attitude towards your privacy!
And for the record, the current cool way to say it is no longer Piss Test, or Golden Flow, but the very cool : Whiz Quiz.
hate to be out of the loop on stuff like that - makes me look so uncool to the kid.
it’s been (thankfully) 9 years since I had to watch folks pee into containers, don’t miss it in the least.
and, for the record, I’m not a fan of POST employment drug tests withough probable cause, either. Of course, since I once tripped, going UP the stairs and ended up with $400 worth of medical problems for a bruise the size of a grapefruit (and one of those BIG ones, 3 for a buck variety), probable cause isns’t as tough as you might think.
A lot of conflicting stories. Some say the products work. Others say nothing works. I kinda’ figured that. Same thing I’ve found all over the internet. And once again, for the record, it’s not for my job. I would never submit to a test for employment, just on principle. I have a meeting with a probabtion officer (it’s related to a DUI) on Tuesday. There’s the off chance that I’ll get tested then. I have not smoked very much pot in the last two or three weeks (I would normally call myself a moderate pot smoker), but I’m still worried about testing positive for it, as I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories over the years about how long it stays in your system. I would like to do what I can to make sure I come out clean. Yeah, I should have quit smoking it altogether. Yeah, it’s my own fault and I deserve what I get. Yeah, I’m an idiot. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I just wanted to know what other’s experiences with drug tests were. My thanks to those that shared their knowledge.
and since my experience is mainly wigh CJ system…pot CAN stay for quite a while. what you describe (a couple times in the past 2 - 3 weeks) is pretty likely to show up. No lecture from me on the whole thing - like I said, I stopped telling adults what to do long ago. you’ve got an off chance, but… in my state, a positive urinalysis while on probation for a DUI (which would be considered to be substance abuse related) will probably take you back before the judge. Best bet is BEFORE you go in to the agent, up your attendance at counseling/AA or whatever you’re doing. If you’re not doing anything yet, get pre-emptive and start before you go in to the PO. don’t mention it tho’ but be prepared to show proof. good luck.
Well, lah dee dah. What if your chosen field doesn’t indulge this kind of granola-munching, Birkenstock-trodding, armpit-hair macrame “Fuck You Buddy, I can work elsewhere anyway” thinking? My father worked for the Federal Gummint for more than 20 years. There was NO question, he had to do the random tests. What’s he going to do, refuse and lose his Security Clearance? This isn’t Woodostock, it’s a JOB !!! Grrrrr…
He keept an up-to-date list of medications with him at all times, so that he could provide them if randomly chosen. He happens to adore Poppy Seed bagels, and yeah it sounds like a real U.L. but Daddy had it happen- the Poppy Seeds tripped a falst positive. He passed the follow up of course.
Learning to either take them with some modicum of grace, or not is a choice you have to make, depending on your chosen career.
Cartooniverseif you are VERY desperate, consider the ol’ Texas Catheter. note- this should only be done by a professional. dilute your own juice however you see fit. cranberry juice, goldenseal, massive amounts of water, whatever.
a few hours before the test (the sooner the better), insert a catheter into your urethra, and have as much urine drained as possible. using the same catheter, do what i can only describe as a ‘penile enema’, using pee from somebody that you are sure is clean (after all, what’s the point of shoving a plastic tupe up into your nether regions if you are going to fail the test anyway). hurry the hell up to the cup, and let it all flow.
as to the morality of this (after all, you are lying), well i think it’s a lot more immoral to invade such an obviously private domain, and use the information to fire someone solely because of something they were doing on their own time. if they don’t know you are using drugs without the test, it’s obviously not impairing your ability to do your job. if it is impairing your function, then hell, you should get fired anyway.
I heard it stays in your system for 28 days, but that won’t do too much good now…