Tha irony-meter, she canna take much more:
[QUOTE=Pat Robertson]
Ladies and gentleman, beware of these scamsters – especially scamsters in religious garb – quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They are all over the place.
[/QUOTE]
In fact, just to be safe, you should probably not listen to anyone quoting what they claim is a holy text. They’re probably a ‘scamster’. (Is that a real word?)
Yep, it’s in the same family as Gerbullshitters.
Oh, god, that’s rich! The chutzpah! It burns!
Well, sure. Even the Bible says: “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” -Matthew 7:15
Now send me money.
Pat is the original TV religious scam artist. He is so unabashed in his fearmongering and begging that the little old ladies he preys upon can’t imagine that anyone would be so evil, therefore he must be good. He transcends the everyday televangelist. The very name of his show, 700 Club, is the number of people he needs paying in to make his show work. Not “the Jesus show” or the “love thy neighbor show” for Pat. Nope, it’s the “I need 700 people to send me money show.”
In that sense his plea is perfectly tuned. Old ladies don’t have irony meters and they can’t imagine that Satan would ever say “get thee behind me Satan.”
Why is that anyway? At what age does one lose it? Should I be expecting a similar malfunction (I’m 59, though male) or will spending time on message boards help ward off the onset of Irony Meter Dysfunction?
I get what religion is, and does; I get what religious organizations do and the benefits they possibly, probably, provide in exchange or not for donations: I can’t understand what benefit is provided to givers to some random preacher, nor what they think he or she will do with it.
[ Slightly prejudiced by having read a huge article on Mr. Benny Hinn at some point. ]
Scamsters are just hamsters who fell in with the wrong crowd.
Well, you know, once you get on that wheel…
If your irony meter pings for more than four hours, consult a professional hipster.
Funding for the preacher to continue bringing the Word to purveyors of luxury goods.
Also, keep the TV/radio shows going.
Pat’s gonna need to borrow Cardinal Mahoney’s ball carrying wheelbarrow.
I have never been able to figure out how two ministers can pass each other in the street without laughing. It’s gotta be that hardest part of the job.
“I’m sorry sir, but those balls are too big for carryons, you’re going to have to check them.”
The show has been on since 1966. Surely he’s found 700 suckers by now.
“Let us prey.”
“Brothers and sisters, be on the lookout for scamsters in religious garb! There could even be one…right here in this room!”
Pay no attention to that man in front the curtain.
Right here in River City!