Pathetic cry for sympathy and attention

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I wasn’t going to start this thread, but after CrankyAsAnOldMan mentioned in the #straightdope IRC channel, “you might hear a lot of similar stories, which might make you feel like less of a chump”. So, here ya go.

This week I was going to look at engagement rings, and next month, on a week-long trip to the Boundary Waters in northern Minnesota with my girlfriend, I was going to propose to her under the stars. It was supposed to be, y’know, romantic.

Instead, she dumped me like a bad habit tonight.

I suppose I’m still in the numb phase, slowly seguing into the bitter phase. At least she let the bomb drop before I sank a chunk of money into a chunk of diamond. On the other hand, I signed the lease for a new apartment just two weeks ago; an apartment in which she was going to join me when her lease expired at the end of this year.

Just one week ago, my last roommate moved out, and I was ecstatic over not having to live with roommates ever again. I thought to myself, “Yay! I’ll actually come home to a clean and empty apartment, and when Laura joins me, I’ll come home to someone I love rather than someone who just pays half of the rent!” Instead, now I’m facing the daunting reality of having to either try to get out of this lease, suck up the deposit, and find a cheaper place, or look for a new roommate. That, or get another job to raise the extra cash. Something that doesn’t involve being on the phone all day, not being on my feet behind a counter all day, and not dealing with bitchy and pissy customers. (So, I guess the second-job choice is ‘male prostitute’.) (At least I still have a sense of humor.)

It wasn’t a bitter breakup, and I don’t feel hostile, angry, betrayed; just resigned. I’ve gotten the short end of the stick in relationships before, but I have to admit that I don’t often go shopping for engagement rings. Maybe if I were angry it would be justified, but there’s no real point in anger. It’d be a waste of energy, and it wouldn’t make me feel any better. I don’t want to call her a callous heartless bitch, because she’s not.

I didn’t tell her about the planned proposal, either. Thinking ahead a month, if she hadn’t broken things off, how would she have replied to said proposal? A ‘no’ would have crushed me even more than this had, and a ‘yes’ would have been a lie. In that respect, I should be grateful.

Last Christmas, when she was visiting her parents out of town and I was having dinner with a dozen friends, one of my high school friends announced his engagement. We were all happy for him, and on a whim, I wagered that I’d be engaged by the end of 2003 or that everyone present could break my legs with a baseball bat. Prior to tonight, I thought that I’d be able to walk in 2004. As it stands [sub]heh, no pun intended[/sub] now, I’m not that sure any more.

So, in a vain attempt to justify this thread, I’ll take Cranky’s advice and ask if anyone has any similar stories. Maybe this should belong in IMHO for that reason, but this is really mundane and pointless by now, I suppose.

2

I don’t have a similar story, but that sucks man. If it’s any consolation, all us here know you rock. Wish for your sake she coulda.

Keep your head up.

3

LNO, my heart goes out to you. I wish I had the words to make you feel better but all I can say is it will get better and you will find someone worthy of you. She sure is going to be a lucky lady once she finds you darlin. Hugs and kisses to you.

4

I’m really sorry to hear about your relationship ending. If anyone deserves someone funny, charming, considerate, and warm, it’s you.

My recommendation, from long experience… ice cream. Really good ice cream. And multiple showings of “Singin’ in the Rain”

5

All I can do is offer up a bright side to look at.

I shelled out $3000 for a ring before I got dumped. At least you didn’t get stuck with an engagement ring.

Other than that, I understand completely. Keep yourself busy. Talk with friends. Vent some anger (you may not be angry now, but odds are you will be). Enjoy the ice cream and “Singin’ in the Rain.”

6

Well LNO,

Don’t count yourself out because the end of 2003 is a long way off. After my divorce/bankruptcy/flee my home state to start my life over, I didn’t think I would ever date again. Now I am very happily married to a wonderful woman and it didn’t take long.

Here is some advice.

Get some gay friends. The reason is that you probably want to go out to bars but not meet women right now. So you go to gay bars with your gay friends. This worked great for me and for some strange reason the beer at gay bars is always colder then the beer at straight bars.

Also you may want to reconsider the male prostitute thing because some of the customers could still be pissy but in a completly different way.

7

Egads, that is an awful story. I’m so sorry that happened to you, although in the long run, I won’t be sorry for you because you eventually meet the perfect woman for you and then everyone will say “Whew, I’m glad he didn’t propose to that other chick.”

When I was a senior in college, I had been dating my boyfriend, an aspiring actor, for two years. We had moved in together, and I was convinced we were going to get married. Why? Let’s see, we had decided to move in together only after discussing how we both felt it was a step leading up to engagement, we had a lot of conversations about the names of our future children and where we were going to live, and around October, he started dropping hints about how I should expect a really, really, special gift at Christmas. I then dropped a lot of ultra-goofy, stupid hints to my friends and family, such as “I have a feeling that this Christmas, you might get some really, really big news.” So Christmas comes, and I get

(wait for it)

a waffle maker.

So, after sobbing, I say “But I thought I was getting an engagement ring!”

“Why would you think that?” he asks.

“Because we talked about the names of our children!”

“Oh.” he says. “You see, as an actor, it’s important for me to talk about things that are never going to happen as if they might actually happen. It helps me in my craft.”

Naturally, I felt really, really stupid, and two weeks later, he moved out. Most of his stuff actually moved out two hours later, as I was tossing it out the door.

I hope this extremely humilitating story was of some possible comfort, succor, or at the very least, comic relief for you.

I have a wonderful life now with the most perfect man in the world, who is neither an actor, nor expects me to make waffles.

PS I intended no offense to any actors out there in SDMBLand, only to actors who are also jerks.

8

I am myself in a similar situtaion only I’m not sure if my relationship was as serious as yours.

I started dating this guy about three months ago. I was really nervous about getting into a relationship and scared to get hurt. I was really honest and open about this from the get-go and his reply was always take it one day at a time.

We took things kinda slow at first but after a while got really serious…to the point that after two short months he told me he loved me. I didn’t return the favor until about a week and a half later mainly because I was so scared of getting hurt. His roommate was leaving in August and he even asked me to move in with him. I never gave him a definite answer but deep down inside I knew I wanted to.

Things went really great up until about two weeks ago. That’s when he told me he wasn’t sure if he was ready to have me move in. I told him maybe we weren’t ready for any of this, an argument ensued and we essentially broke up. The next day he begged me to come back and work on things. I gave in and decided to give it a try. Don’t you know, the next day, he decided he wasn’t ready for any of this and broke it off.

I moped around for a while feeling sorry for myself until I decided it wasn’t worth it. I still love him and wish that we could be together but someitmes things don’t work out the way you want them to. I don’t hate him and I really feel it was for the best.

Time has helped and every day I feel better about the situation I am in. Just remember, there are so many others out there and if it wasn’t meant to be then there is someone out there with which it will be. Just keep your head up and your eyes open and when you least expect it, it will come along again. I already have a date lined up for next week!!!

9

Last night my coworker’s husband called her (at work) to tell her it was over, he wanted a divorce.

As for me…well…I have no love life at all so I have no sad stories to relate. And that’s pretty sad in and of itself.

10

My god. I’m so sorry. What a terrible situation. But like many have already said or at least implied,EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Go watch the movie Sliding Doors. You’ll feel like this was exactly the plan.

And maybe you’ll end up with Gwenyth Paltrow! :smiley:

jarbaby

11

Bob and I both liked meeting you, and I think you are a charming and witty guy. I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you don’t get too depressed. And you’re right in that it’s better that she told you now.

jarbabyj’s idea was a good one. Good movie, too.

12

LNO, that really fucking sucks.

I’ve always said that heartbreak hurts worse than any physical pain I’ve ever felt, and it lasts longer.

I don’t have a similar story to tell, and I know there’s nothing I can say to make you feel better.
One thing I will say, (forgive me if it sounds cliched), is that you may not feel like it now, but you will feel better. It might take a long time, but it will happen.

{{{LNO}}}

Rose

13

Thanks for the sentiments, everyone.

Sadly, I don’t have a copy of “Singin’ in the Rain”, but I am scheduled to watch it on Tuesday, September 18th. (Why such a strange date? Well, it’s 10th on the AFI’s list of the top 100 movies, and every Tuesday, starting this Tuesday, several friends and I are going to watch every movie down the list. It’s almost two years of entertainment, I tell myself, and “Singin’ in the Rain” is #10 on that list.) I’ll see it before then, I’m sure. And I’ll rent “Sliding Doors”, but only if there’s full frontal nudity. I only see Paltrow movies if she takes it all off.
[sub]No, not really, but that’d probably cheer me up some, wouldn’t it?[/sub]

I do admit to having the worst hangover in my life, with no idea why I’m awake now.

I’m in the process of gradually divesting myself of everything that was hers. No bonfire, just cleaning house. Number off of speed dial, email out of address book, mementos into the trash.

I also have five vacation days I was saving for October, when she and I were going to go to DC for a week. (That was my dilemma- do I propose in the wilderness under the stars, or at the reflecting pool at midnight?) At least I can use those for whatever I want, now. Sadly, I won’t be able to take this next week off of work, but work will keep me busy, I suppose.

Meh. I should probably find some breakfast to settle my stomach.

14

Oh, yeah … Ben and Jerry’s has something called … Half-Baked, I think? Half chocolate/half vanilla ice cream with chunks of fudge brownies and chocolate cookie dough. <droooooooool>

As for getting dumped … my ex husband came home from deployment two days before Christmas and told me he was done. Yeah, it sucks all the way around. :\

Take care, hon …