Fatgail, you are amazing. This has got to be the funniest rant I’ve read in quite a while. 
…and yes, “tiny pink peen” topped it off quite nicely. 
Thanks for sharing. Why don’t you go find a puppy to kick or something.
Do you see “not finding something funny” as equivalent to animal abuse, or is this just another really badly thrown humor dart that missed the bullseye, the dartboard, and the wall behind the board? In fact, if you are trying to be funny, you’ve somehow missed the entire pub even though you’re standing inside the damned thing. Metaphorically speaking.
I confess that I did not know it was a real food - I thought it was a plot device created for Roger the Alien.
I’m saying that I don’t see why it is necessary to be so critical of something posted in jest. I don’t understand why some people need to post in threads that they find the topic to be stupid or in poor taste or whatever. It’s tacky. And kicking puppies is just my standard line to people I want to go away because they’re being obnoxious, or rude or whatever.
And I don’t believe in metaphors.
Saying I didn’t find it especially funny is being “so critical”? How IS your very first visit to the Internet?
Yep.
Well, it was in 2000 or so. I don’t especially remember much about it. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a lot of criticism on account of the fact I spent all my time on sites for saturday morning cartoons and stuff. Why?
Now I DO want to kick a puppy.*
*Not really.
That’s so mean! Why would you want to do that?!
IANAM and I didn’t report this thread, but I did want to point this out since you seem to do a lot of these. And you might want to read all of the Pit rules, not just the quoted ones.
And as I understand it, satire belongs in MPSIMS although I saw one of your threads that didn’t go over well there in the beginning due to too much tongue-in-cheek verbiage without any explanation.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t post these; people seem to be enjoying them and as I said, IANAM. I’m just explaining why some people are confused about this in the Pit.
Oh yes, let’s please, please, please do parse the joke to a fare thee well; it makes it so much funnier after we go through every single word one at a time and analyze them for both individual and collective characteristics of funniness, then we have a round robin discussion of quantitative and qualitative amusement value of the rant and come to a consensus view on absolute humor quotients. That will be ever so swell!
I think some people need to loosen up their tiny pink peens just a smidgen…
:snerk:
NO COOKIE FOR YOU!!!
Tris
Somebody remind me why “yum yum, I love to cram cookies in my mouth” belongs in the Pit.
Jesus…some people need a serious humor transfusion, stat…
The OP, for one…
This is the Pit so anything can go and to start a post is basically at your own risk but for fucks sake.
The rant was a good one, a funny one and a valid one.
Yes it had humor but I do not see this as a cutesy non-pitting.
In this thread there was humor as well as a rant and for four pages there were humurous responses and nobody jumped at that rant with rule quotes.
If you do not find it funny then fine but I don’t think the OP deserves to be slapped with a rule book or the condesending tone.
If that ain’t cutesy bullshit, what is?
So one line in an entire fucking rant makes it cutesy?
If that was the case I think we better start slapping the rule book around a lot more.
Okay, how about the whole gist of the rant: “100 calories worth of cookies isn’t quite what I thought it would be.”
Kinda redefines mudane and pointless, and reads like some kind of stupid Jean Teasdale shit.
ETA: You know, on any other board, if someone named themselves fatgail, then posted a page-long missive about cookies, I’d probably think the poster was a bad gimmick.
Have you ever eaten these 100 calorie packs?
I have and on the most part I would say they are what I expect but four fucking cookies may throw me into a rant as well, especially if I was dieting and wanted something that would satisfy my sweet tooth. Four baby cookies ain’t gonna cut it.
What is wrong with the Ops name? Some fat people embrace their fatness. They don’t hide it and use their brassy personalities to keep things on a humorous level instead of drowning in a pity party.
I read it as a person that is fat, admits she is fat, is trying to change that fact and in the process of attempting to ran into a diet portion item that was not only laughable but was frustrated enough about it to form a rant which belongs in the pit.
Maybe it is mundane to you but as a person that has attempted to diet many times it is not. It can be frustrating and try your own ability at self control. There is nothing wrong with forming that rant and getting it off your chest with some humor thrown in.