Pee-ew in September (September mini rants)

I’m currently lying on the floor with my thighs elevated because I cannot be trusted to perform simple tasks correctly.

I shave in the shower. I get a closer shave that way, and I get to hang out in the warm water for longer. Win-win!

This morning I’m in the shower, doing my thing, and my hand desides to just drop my razor. It falls just right, so it slices a nice gash on my upper thigh.

My nice and new white washcloth is now red. I’m all patched up, and the bleeding has mostly stopped.

I had things I wanted to do today, but instead I think I’ll lie on the floor and drop my phone on my face some. Good thing **Mrs Magill ** talked me out of reading my book.

Thanks for the timely warning. I’m about to go shave in the shower too. My tools are probably safer than yours or you were especially unlucky in how you dropped them.

OTOH, I hope I don’t end up starring in this thread:

Good heavens! Do you use a straight razor?

I often spend the first week of the month deciphering the title of the MMR (Monthly Mini-Rants).

Hmm… not a pee reference, not like a toy gun (“Pew-Pew!”)… suddenly I started singing “Will I pee you in September?/Or lose you to a summer night?”

So, is it a pun on “Pee You in September”?

Don’t forget the monthly mini-rant tag!

FTR I took one small nick but no especial response drill was needed; just ignore it and move on.

But thanks for the warning! :wink:

I just added it. :slight_smile:

Nope, I’m just especially unlucky.

The first thing I thought of when trying to come up with a title was the song, “See You in September.” And the (I thought) commom expression “Pee-ew,” that people say when something smells bad.

I was thinking a katana.

You are a legend.

So my husband’s cadre of cousins includes a convicted gang rapist. He never served any time and was ultimately convicted as an accessory, but everyone knows he participated – he just got really expensive defense attorneys. It’s been probably 15 or 20 years since the offense but I’ve never seen any indicator he took accountability. His own brother thinks he should still be in prison. The victim was 16 and he was in his 20s. He has a kid now. Awkward for my husband because they used to hang out together and now he doesn’t want anything to do with him.

He showed up yesterday at the Labor Day family gathering, which is rare for him. And promptly my kid became attached to him. Wee Weasel wanted to jump off the diving board (the closest he got was sitting and sliding off the edge) and his “uncle” was there to catch him.

Awkward. I don’t want to be unnecessarily mean to this guy, I mean, I dunno, at what point do you get to not be a pariah after doing something so heinous? But I also don’t really want to deal with him. I don’t think he’s a danger to my child and they would never be alone anyway.

It may come to nothing; his appearance at these events is not frequent. But it’s always this sort of dilemma when I see him, now complicated by the fact my son apparently adores him. Blah.

Yesterday was the annual scenic ride home from the festival; stoopit cops decided to setup a checkpoint right in the middle of the fun part, where the steering wheel is only straight for the fraction of a second that it goes from one side to the other. As an added bonus, they blocked off the best pulloff (best visibility/photo ops) so they could pull cars over there. WTELF?!?!? You couldn’t have done this lower down, where it’s just a straight road?

Went out to nice Italian dinner last night. A promising start to the evening.

Had an appetizer with a thick layer of insanely hot molten cheese on top. Despite great care, inevitably I burned the shit out of the roof of my mouth on one overly gooey sticky bite. Making the rest of the meal a bit challenging to eat comfortably.

After a couple drinks to comfort myself I set off to the nearby cigar bar. Whereat I burned my left thumb using an over-eager torch to relight the last remains of a now-too-short stogie.

At least I didn’t die in a fiery car crash. Which might have been hard to arrange since I walked there and back.

I’ve had some pretty good N/A beers so when I was in the job lot store (for something else), I impulse-purchased some N/A bourbon. I should have known it wouldn’t be good for $5.99 but took it to our friends to give it a shot…which none of us could even manage to sip. Literally, we poured some into shot glasses, & at least half of the pour in each & every glass went down the sink, along with the rest of the bottle. I understand you get what you pay for but even moving the decimal over one to 59¢ would have been overpaying for that swill.
Now I feel I need to make up for it with a much more expensive bottle of (Limited Edition) Maker’s Mark.

A member of my dojo once dropped a katana on his foot. Pro Tip: when you call 911 for an ambulance for someone who got cut with a sword, the police show up first.

I would not tell them it was a katana. I’d say a big knife fell on my foot. That’s technically what it is. (I mean, a knife with a 30 inch blade, but still, it’s knife-shaped.)

The people who package him up & haul his arse off to the horse pistol appreciate that they do show up first. It was in our protocols that for certain calls; especially DV ones, even if we were first in the area we’d ‘stage’ a block or two away & wait for the PD to give us the all clear / scene secure before ‘arriving’ on scene.

Ay, this new kindergarten schedule is going to kill me. Up an hour earlier than usual, and I committed to driving my son to school every morning. And it looks like I’ll be hauling him from after school child care to social skills group twice a week starting on the 15th, which is going to wreak absolute havoc on my schedule.

I got up at 5:45am (probably going to get earlier and earlier as winter descends), drove the kid to school, drove to work, arrived at work at 8am, worked a full day, then drove 45 minutes home in bumper to bumper traffic to pick him up and another 20 minutes to get him home, launching right into dinner and holy shit, am I beat. And he’s not even in bed yet.

All this because my husband is always so swamped he really needed me to step up and take on more logistics and child care, so it’s for a good cause, I hope. And it’s better for me to get up and showered and working as early as possible. I prefer driving him to getting him ready in the morning.

So I think this is for the better but the transition is pretty rough.

Morbidity and Mortality Report, CDC newsletter is MMR LOL

I’m on the hunt for good N/A beers and whiskies.

So far, I only like Heinekken and Guiness 0% (which comes the closest to the original… it’s great!). AND the local bar carries it. The only other N/A beers they carry taste like gym socks… one has the slogan “Hop-Infused Tap Water!”

I’ve given up on N/A spirits. I’m afraid that it’s a lost cause; so much of the flavor is that ethanol “bite”.

I think I’ll start a Café Society thread on the subject. “How to hang out in the pub without damaging any brain cells” (so no Fox News on the TV, either… just sports with the commentators muted).