This is mildly embarrassing, but I’m ALSO feeling fortunate I have a place, such as this, where I can ask, since I don’t have any close girl friends.
I’ve been friends with a man for months now, and we have recently decided to ‘go for it’…get physical!
Well, last night I saw IT. I think it might be too big. I’ve never had sex with a penis this big, in fact I’ve never seen one in person this size. It may not seem seriously big to any of you, but to me… it was scary. (we measured it 7.5 L and 5.5 around… and I heard a vagina is only 4 inches deep)
Anyways, I’m actually scared to have sex with him after seeing IT. Sure, I could have a relaxing bath, get a lil drunk to fully relax before we have sex. But I can’t be doing THAT everytime we want to get intimate.
I have no problem making my own lube… so suggesting lube won’t help. But… can someone recommend me some positions or techniques to deal with this.
I realize my attitude has to change. I can’t be fearful when we do it, but maybe someone has some tips…
Please, this thread sullies the thought of TMI. Maybe if you had said you liked to stare at erect male members while lathering yourself in chunky peanut butter all so you could pray to Phalthral’ha, the Pagan god of necrophiliac pet owners in preparation for your daily ritual of cleansing your colon through a combination of a washing with 2 parts Mountain Dew/1 part melted fudgsicle delivered by an enslaved Swedish youth.
Don’t worry about it. I’ve had this sort of “issue” before, and the best thing I found is for lots of foreplay, and the best position was where I was on my front and the guy entered me from behind, and then laid down on my back. For some reason this gives the guy the sensation of being fully in you when he isn’t really. Other positions were doable too, but it meant lots of lube, and pretty much going slow.
Other than that, we didn’t have any other problems except he could never just go at it and pound away, because I’m short inside too. Some women get off on the guy hitting the cervix, it’s damn painful for me.
I hope this helps. Try out new things with this guy. I’ve heard that the vagina gets larger when the woman is excited, but I have no cite for it, except it seemed to work that way with me.
What you said above about the relaxing bath, some alcohol, I’d suggest doing it for the first time. You sound a bit nervous. Afterwards, I’m sure you will relax after that first time and you see how you will fit together.
You’ll be fine; you might be sore when you first start out, but that’ll fade as your body gets used to him. Just make sure you are fully aroused before he starts. You might ask him to go down on you or bring you to orgasm by other means first, as it could help with your being “ready” for him.
The vagina essentially lengthens and widens when a woman is sexually aroused (which is why fisting is possible). Average penis length is about 6.5 inches, but IIRC most women can accomodate up to 8-9 inches when aroused, so length probably won’t be an issue.
Actually, 4 inches deep for a non-aroused vagina sounds about right. From my reading on fertility awareness, I gather most women can insert a finger and feel their cervix quite easily, and my longest finger is about 3 inches long.
But it does stretch upward when you get aroused. Also, according to my copy of Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, the cervix shifts forward, so it isn’t so much at the top, but rather forms part of the upper front wall, so it would get rubbed, rather than rammed. So definitely get good and hot before you make with the lovin’.
I also agree that rear entry with both parties lying flat is probably a good position, while in my experience, doggy-style will give the greatest penetration, so you might want to avoid that.
“A study by Lifestyles Condom Co. shows that the average length of a male sex organ is 5.877 inches — which might comfort men who previously thought they were less than average.”
" the depth from the vaginal opening to the tip of the cervix is 3 to 4 inches when they are not sexually aroused"
ok, it’s not when it’s aroused… but still, i don’t think it falls under “sadly misinformed”
7.5" is not THAT long. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. You’ll do fine. If you feel pain, then perhaps you could look at other positions, lube, more foreplay, whatever.
No it isn’t that big. Sadly you will get used to it and if you don’t stay together your next lover will seem…less impressive. It’s thick but just take it easy and you do the driving until you do get used to the girth.
It sounds like you’ve already talked about it, and that may be the most important step you can take. Make sure he’s aware of your concerns, and sensitive to them, and that he understands the concept of slow and easy.
Other than that, I’ll just second what the others have said…if you’re comfortable on top, start out that way so you have more control and can bail if you feel a need.
If you find that it’s uncomfortable or occasionally painful, don’t lose hope. Speaking from experience here: Your body will adjust over time (not that much time, actually…seems to happen fairly quickly, at least ime), and eventually you won’t even get those minor ouch moments.
I used to get crampy afterward. That seemed to get better over time as well; I rarely have any problems at all anymore.
Enjoy!
Best,
karol
Mith, I have to say, you just made me feel so much better about my size. I always thought it was just a dick sized dick, but now I have to believe I’m HUNG!!!
Thank you!!!
BTW. If you get on top, it’ll help as you can take it as you get used to it.
If that was perfectly round it would have a 1.75 inch diameter.
Mith, my dear. The Vagina can accommodate 10 centimeters for birthing. Thats more than twice your Mini-Mandingo warrior (I say this in respect to all the black studs I see in internet porn who seem to satisfy all these white chicks)
7.5 by 5.5 around is not too big. Its a respectable size and I would salute him for his fortune in genetics but he is definitely not too big for you. Take it slow and with a lot of lubrication and enthusiasm but give it the ol college try.
Of course once you get used to this size, anything smaller would be so … me!
