I have a fairly unique first name… Not too unusual, but not likely to be 2 of “us” in a fairly large crowd either. I used to work in a a big block retail store, and had a coworker that would always page me on the intercom using both my first name and last. He claimed he had every right to do this, and ignored my requests to stop. (It was in violation of company privacy policies… we were not required to give our last names to customers, nor were we allowed to give out other employess personal info). At the time I was concerned about this as I was being stalked by an Ex.
After several polite and then increasingly blunt requests for him to cease were ignored I finally had to go through HR and get them to formally “tell” him that he had to stop.
Many companies have similar policies, and if this is occuring in the work place, then you may have the option I had, to take control of this.
I don’t think it’s automatically disrespectful. Ignoring requests to call someone by their first name is disrespectful, but just calling them by their last name is not.
I quite like being addressed by my surname, under certain circumstances. It’s got a quaint vaguely British, vaguely posh school, vaguely military feel to it.
Normally though, I don’t give a rat’s arse. But there are two things that bug me:
Don’t take it upon yourself to use any diminutive of my first name. I don’t use one with any but very close people. You’ll know if you can use it.
Don’t address me by any of my names (or any combination thereof) if you are in a position to know my name, but I am not in a position to know yours. This goes especially for clerks to whom I have given a form or retail grunts who have seen my credit card. I have so far been successful in stifling the urge to scream, “Ex-fuckin’-CUSE me? Have we met?” Just call me “sir” or if you find that too formal, then don’t call me anything - that’s fine too. Just don’t use my name if we haven’t been introduced.
Where I work (big airline maintenance hangar), it’s pretty common for people to be addressed by using their last names. I think it is because many of my co-workers have come from the military.
I never really liked it, and I always adress people using their first names.
I’ve never had a problem with being called by my last name, but I do use a form of my first name. I had a male collegue some years back that insisted on calling me “Bog”. Repeated attempts to get him to call me “Ette”, didn’t work. I asked, I explained, etc. I even said he could call me “Boggette” if he wanted, but I hated just “Bog”.
Nothing. He just kept calling me “Bog”. He used to shout his version of my name down the hall (we had extension capabilities on the phone, too) and I wouldn’t answer. He’d come storming in, “Didn’t you hear me calling you?” “No. I heard you calling ‘Bog’. I go by ‘Ette’.”
His name was David. When I started calling him “Vid” all the time, he got pissed. He never did stop, either. It was one of the many reasons I quit.
Without using Mr, Mrs or Ms just the surname has a note of derision in it, akin to saying ‘hey, you’. The exception would be when the persons first name is common around the office/school and 7 people are called ‘Jenny’.