Some of my favorites from the office:
Adora Cherry
Jason Growcock
Patty Wack
Precious Carrion
Thankgod Nwafor
(I love the last one–it’s like a little conversation. “Thankgod!” “Nwafor?”)
we have a urologist named Dr. Richard Tapper…Dick Tapper!
and i’ve heard of the jello siblings mentioned above!
our phone book used to have a listing for a Worm Walker. How he got those tiny leashes on I’ll never know!
In a near-by town there’s a doctor’s office on the main street. The front window displays: Dr. I. A. Butt
I actually knew a girl named Sandy Beaver.
My dentists name was Dr. Price. (ironic)
I worked with a man named Dick King. How Richard ever turned into Dick I’ll never know.
I used to work in travel and saw all manner of names. The one that had us rolling in childish laughter was an India name. Kum Kum Dilwahli.
My mother had a student named Paige Page. I can only wonder what her parents were thinking.
Another was John Johnson. I mean, really.
Umm, I’ve heard of the Lemonjello twin before (pronounced leh-MON-sha-lo, right?), only the other twin was Orangejello (oh-RON-sha-lo). Perhaps Snopes can help.
I know someone called Annette Ball
I recently noticed that many of the photos that adorn our walls in the office were taken at the turn of the century by Fanny Tapper.
My high school counselor was named Ronald McDonald.
A couple I vaguely know just had a baby boy. They wanted a name that meant something, so they named him Premier Freedom (they’re white, too). Kid’s gonna get called Premie, or worse, something like P. Freely. If it had been a girl, she would have been Katherine Belle. Why, oh why wasn’t it a girl?
Friend who worked in a hospital came across a chart for Victorias Blow.
Knew a guy named Harry Wood. A girl slapped him once when he introduced himself.
My roommate dated a guy whose first name was Wood. She like to greet him with, “Morning, Wood!”
And finally, I have a friend named Karie Hunt. Not bad at all, unless you spoonerize it.
Well, I’m a John Thomas, and my grandmother’s name is Phyllis Butt. Her maiden name was Cox. Pretty unfortunate family i come from.
Oh, I forgot about my mom’s old coworker, last name of Marion. You guessed it, his wife’s name was Maryanne.
My mom’s best friend is named Violet. Her husband is named Bud.
And everyone in Houston knows about the Hogg family (the daughter was named Ima). Seriously. I’ve been to the Hogg mansion.
I knew a Lance Boyle in my kiddiedom.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize the implications of his name until I had grown enough couth not to tease him about it!!
I had a teacher at school called Dr Dick …
I know a woman called Siobhan - which is pronounced Shevaun - she’s got a crush on Vince Vaughn, I keep telling her, if you marry him you’ll be Siobhan Vaughn … is there an echo in here?
There’s a guy in my hometown named Harry Bahls.
I had a piano teacher named Miss Anus (pronounced Ann-us).
Years ago, my mom was telling me about a family friend from her childhood named Harry Palms. She never gave the significance of it a thought until I started laughing so hard I couldn’t talk. Last week, she was telling the story of my hysterics to my aunt. She said “Ohh, it never occured to me!” Then we all giggled.
There’s a major league baseball player named Milton Bradley. Imagine growing up with that as your name.
I know a Bart Simpson. Poor guy.
How about Lancelot Heinzelman?
Or my high school boyfriend’s last name: Seidensticker.
I just met a lady at a playground yesterday whose name is **Jeri Springer **.
She’s a minister’s wife.
Heee.
Oh - here’s a few from work: Bob Hoogenboom, Clay Funderburk, Clay Linginfelter, Jim Saltsgiver, Joe Drumheller, Rick Cummings. Nothing too horrid …
OH! One more from highschool: Nick Kotjene (pronounced ko-teen).
I had 21 stitches in my left ass cheek sewn by a Dr. Butt.
(don’t ask its a long story…)