when i make love to my girlfriend i can never seem to orgasm… but always seem to be able to when flyin solo. its getting to kinda be a problem between the 2 of us and i’d kinda like to get it taken care of. what might cause this?
What does she look like? 
Been there, done that. I’ve got good news and bad news: The good news is that the quickest way to cure this problem is to make love to your girlfriend more often. Lots more often. The bad news is that you can’t fly solo in the meantime.
Your problem, I’m guessing, is that you have conditioned yourself to respond to just one kind of stimulus…your hand. Since your girlfriend doesn’t feel like your hand, and the actions of making love to her require a lot more effort than flying solo…well, you get the idea. If you are like I was, you just have to recondition yourself. That means lots of new stimulus, and none of the old, until the situation is fixed. But don’t worry…it’s a pretty quick process, and a bunch of fun to boot! (Honest, honey! We have to do it 5 times a day at least for this to work! )
[hijack]
Damn, I’m gonna specifically ask for silenus to answer all my requests for information from now on! Assuming, of course, that the rest of your advice is anywhere near as…uh, good…as this!
heh, more people with the same ‘problem’ I have.
silenus gives good advice. Since i’ve started having regular sex i masturbate less. There is also a correlation with when I masturbate, and how easy it is for me to get off(still not easy, but i’m not complaining, nor is she). Obviously theres also a correlation between how often, and how much easier it’s become.
Might be a good idea to masturbate just a lil bit. Keep up that stamina
Pope, I have a question. (I won’t mention that it’s a bit indelicate, since the whole discussion could be considered so.)
When you say that you can’t orgasm with your girlfriend, do you mean “at all, ever” or just not by the “traditional” means?
If the answer is “B,” then…
The Good News? There’s a name for this.
The Bad News? It’s called “Ejaculatory Incompetence.” Ouch.
In any case, you can google it, and there’s a ton of info on it with helpful hints, etc.
My advice? Take care of this now, so when and if you decide to have a family you won’t have this as an obstacle. And, because over time your partner can start to feel pretty “rejected” and bad about herself and her desirability.
Speaking from experience…best of luck.
Get her to do her pelvic floor exercises during the ‘event’ - always does it for me
I would have to disagree, I had this problem until I took silenus’ advice. Then over time, the problem fixed itself.
And, yes I’m aware of the Irony of someone named Ottoerotic agreeing with silenus’ advice.
What exactly are you disagreeing with? That’s what the experience is called, medically. I didn’t name it - and I think it’s name is a bit harsh. I also didn’t say anything critical about anyone else’s advice. However, just because it corrected itself for you, doesn’t mean it does for everyone. If the suggestions from other posters doesn’t help, then it’s not a bad idea to talk to a doctor about it, especially if it bothers you or your partner. That’s all.
silenus is correct. This was a problem for me, too, when I first met my wife.
Stop wanking. Remember, it’s a substitute for not having a real woman to boink.
Seriously, it will work.
Other things to do are to find positions that are less strenuous. Have her lie at the edge of the bed while you stand. Or let her be on top.
Or, if it’s not a big deal for her, then let her manually, ahem, complete the act.
And another problem that interferes with a lot of couples’ climaxes is that one or both persons are afraid to give direction: don’t be shy or feel guilty about saying “lower,” or “harder,” or “faster,” or “a bit to the right,” or whatever else it takes to get yer yayas. And encourage her to do the same.
If you had bothered to read the OP you would find that he can still climax solo. So your advice wasn’t exactly helpful. It obviously isn’t a physical disorder, so there isn’t much of a need to talk to a doctor yet, and if you read any websites on the topic you would find that the overwhelming suggestion is to try and find ways to relax, exactly what we’re suggesting.
I know… Minor nitpick, perhaps I’m just upset by your posting about another medical condition again so soon after Quadgop already corrected you in a different Medical Thread
I don’t mean to seem harsh, just the fact that you gave bad medical advice before, and now you’re suggesting things and posting to a medical type thread after you clearly didn’t read the OP, makes me a bit sceptical and reminds me of someone else who used to post here, but I don’t have his name “Handy”
Tulipgirl, do not offer unqualified medical diagnosis on these boards.
Ottoerotic, do not make accusations of this nature. Next time, please use the “Report bad post” feature and report it to the mods instead.
-xash
General Questions Moderator
Pope…if the already offered advice fails, you might wanna have your gf bring her two best friends over for the weekend. Distribution of labor may be just the ticket. Hey, even if the other advice works you might wanna give that a go.
well the suggestion did come up… and i’d have gotten away with it if cosmo hadnt said it was a bad idea cuz itd cause me to split up with her for some reason or another