Pondering my on-line dating dealbreakers, I wonder if I’ve come up with so many that there isn’t a single person on this planet I’m willing to go out with. In particular, I’m wondering about women whose stance is “Love me, love my twelve boa constrictors” and who look at me funny when I suggest that gigantic snakes slithering over my body as I sleep kinda squicks me out, so I’d like to run a poll asking some questions about pet-ownership to see how many people I’m actually eliminating by making “pets” a dealbreaker. Frankly it’s more likely that I’ll be happy with one of the minuscule number of “no-pets” people, however low it is, than changing how I feel about pets, but I’d like to find out what I’m up against. (And in advance, if you want to call me crazy: 1) there’s a line, and 2) I’ve had dogs, birds, fish, and have dated women with cats that were NOT an issue, but now am in the"No, thanks" category).
Isn’t this like the third thread you’ve started, moaning about how some women have too many pets and are far too attached to them? Check all the boxes for “must have no pets” in your online profiles and move on with your life.
Just trying to see how many women I’m eliminating with this policy. No need to get your panties all bunched up.
How about not clicking on the thread instead of opening it up just to shit on it? No, but that would be too easy, wouldn’t it.
I’m a “no pets” person, and it has never impacted my ability to date or maintain a relationship in any way. My dad used to have a dog, but we convinced him to get rid of it; it smelled like dog (heh), and my siblings and I just couldn’t deal. My wife had a fish tank obsession for a while, but after the first fish died she was done, and so was I.
I would not date a snake lady.
Looking back on my life, I don’t think I’ve ever dated a woman who wasn’t a dog or cat person. Guess I’ve been lucky in that regard.
If you don’t like animals, don’t date people with pets. You need to stop thinking that it’s crazier to have pets than it is to expect someone to get rid of their pets after three dates with you.
You are presumably dating fully grown people who are pretty set in their lifestyles. There’s very little that they’re going to be willing to change to suit you. Add this to the list.
No pets. I had them when I was younger, but I absolutely do not want to be bothered with caring for them now.
I don’t, Diana. The three dates have been to see if the pets are all over me 24/7, have access to every surface in their apartments, follow a strict or loose interpretation of “house-broken,” and to see if the woman treats her pets like pets or her children, etc. The three dates are for me to see if I can take it, not for her to change.
Fair enough, but here’s the thing; why bother?
You don’t like pets. I don’t like kids. So what I do is not date people with kids. I don’t keep thinking “Well, maybe these particular kids won’t be a problem.” They will, because I don’t like kids.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t actually dislike individual small people. But kids impinge on freedom in ways I’m not interested in dealing with at this point in my life. Dealbreaker.
My pets are a part of me. I get rid of them for NO ONE and feel sorry for anyone that has never known the love of a good dog.
People that don’t like animals have no place in my little corner of the world. I’d rather be around my dogs & cats and any other assorted critters that happen to be around.
Probably about the same number as you eliminate once you meet their pets and decide that the pets are too much for you. It’s much faster to date a woman without pets than it is to date a woman with pet, decide you hate the pets, and break up. There are petless women out there. Find one. Be happy.
And I’m not wearing any panties.
But I do like some pets. And can tolerate some more. And I don’t want to come across as totally crazy asking question after question in advance of the first date about pets, pets, pets, mainly because some things (like whether she leaves cutting boards lying flat all day and assumes that, if she isn’t home to see it, the cats haven’t been walking over them) are better observed than discussed.
But the purpose of this poll, for me, is to find out the approximate number of women I’m eliminating if I were to adopt the “Pets Verboten” policy you suggest. I’m not quite there yet, but thinking about it. Honestly, I can’t believe the number of dealbreakers I’m considering–they make me wonder if on-line dating works for me, and if I’d just be better off putting up a profile saying “I probably can’t stand you, and you can stand me less.” Pets, smoking, religion, drinking, kids, too old, too young, politics, geography–I’ve got to figure out which ones are really important to me and which ones not so much.
Funny, I went commando yesterday for the first time in years (thought I had dry underwear in my locker after workout, did not.) And like I said to Diana, I’m trying to quantify the number of petless women out there, and whether it makes sense to me to take the harsher position you and she advocate.
You do realize people that have pets generally do love their pets and can become quite attached to them. The often become part of the family for a lot of people and care for them as such.
If you don’t like animals date a non-animal person they’re out there.
What drives me crazy personally is when a women eats her peas one at a time. Instant deal breaker.
Well, I was perfectly happy to stay single and hang out with my dog as I was to date some dog hater.
I finally married a man who is as pro-dog as I am.
If you don’t like pets, you don’t like pets, but hoping you can coax some woman to get rid of hers (as you were suggesting a few threads ago) is not going to end well, particularly if she has multiples. If she has one parakeet, maybe, but 4 cats a dog and 2 snakes? Welcome to pet central, population - YOU!
What, no “other” choice? I wouldn’t mind a woman with cats at all, but I have a small tolerance for doggie annoyances. Basically a dog will either be aggressive toward you or overly slobbery and affectionate (and just being around a dog, they usually stink.)
Cite, please?
Honest, I don’t remember doing (or thinking) this, but if you can show me where I posted such a thing, I will be scheduling a visit with my mental-health professional immediately.
Really? Ok then:
Why on earth would she be trying to get rid of her cats if you weren’t coaxing her to do so? You said yourself that she knew them by name, loved them, cared for them and was too sentimental to send them to a shelter. There is no part of that which suggests she was itching to get rid of them.
Other than the part where she VOLUNTARILY assured me she intended to be cat-free asap? And where I kept checking IN ADVANCE OF MEETING HER of her progress in that regard? Believe me, if she had told me that she was even THINKING ABOUT keeping cats, I would have considered that a deal-breaker.
In her case, that is. With other women, who are more geographically desirable, or otherwise desirable, I’ll even accept cats if the woman herself is okay with keeping them off cooking surfaces, out of the bed (with me), and is good about her house not smelling like the lion house at the zoo 24/7. But that woman told me that she was stuck with the cats her asshole ex- had left her with, and she was desperate to be free of them, so I made plans to see her in a few months. At that point she told me she still a few cats, and “a few” turned out to be 8 (or 9, I couldn’t quite count them.) But I in no way tried to coax a dedicated cat-owner into choosing between her pets and me, and I’m amazed that you could torture that post into thinking that’s a fair characterization of what I did.