Phouka's 500 Post Party-rama

Okay, dopers, I never thought I’d get here, so let’s fire this shindig up. I’ve rented a virtual warehouse and splurged on all sorts of goodies.

To your right, you’ll find the endless buffet. All your favorite foods are there, of course. I do highly recommend the florentine pizza and the frarej. Guiness, Shiner Bock, and all the other good brews are on tap. There’s a wine celler you can peruse, as well as soda, iced tea, milkshakes, and a free bar.

Off to your left, the entertainment center has been fully stocked. The DVD player is currently holding Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Matrix, Singing in the Rain, and Disney’s Tarzan. The library has, of course, an assorted collection of MGM musicals, film noire, science fiction, Alfred Hitchcock, Otto Preminger, silent flicks for Uke and Eve, animation, and most everything else. That stack in the corner is what my brother, Rincewind, brought in. I’m sure he’ll tell us what all he thought we’d like. There’s digital surround sound, gourmet popcorn and comfy couches for all.

Over there in the back is the game room - pool, darts, foosball, air hockey, arcade games, and whack-a-munch. There are also tables set up for card games, but only clothes can be used for gambling. No cash or chips, please.

Out on the deck is the hot tob, the sauna, and the massage table. There’s also a trail down to the lake for anyone who wants to skinny dip.

So, let’s get this party started, guys. :cool:

Wow! Now that’s what I call a party!

Count me in. :slight_smile:

P.S. Congrats.

“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket

Whoohoo! Athena grabs a beer and jumps in the sauna. Who’s bringing the cedar boughs?

Happy 500th Phouka. Umm, do you guys remember that international Vegas Doper Meeting we were discussing before? I think we should reconsider… Damn you put on a nice party Phouka!

What I tell you three times is true.
The Hunting of the Snark.
Lewis Carroll

Alright, whack-a-munch! But what about tunes?

Habit rules the unreflecting herd. - Wordsworth

< As VB walks in, cracks his knuckles and rolls up the sleeves on his flight suit >


Phouka, you done GOOD, girl!
This could be ‘Naked pillow fight’ & ‘Edwardian House Party’ all in one!
We might even challenge the Guy Stuff thread!..Naw!


I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes:

Happy 500th.

( and I fall to the ground drunk coming straight from my 500th post party!)


“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion

Happy 500th! Mmmm… milkshakes…

As if you care, this is my 300th, but I’m still not picking up the catering tab.

The sound system is over in the corner with a full LP and CD library. Please program to your heart’s content, SwimmingRiddles.

Oh, and since this is virtual, I’ve added a Quidditch court just out past the pond. Grab your team colors and Firebolt 2000, the games begin in half an hour.

Any plans for hookers to attend? I like hookers. Hookers would make a nice addition to the party. Will there be any hookers, because if there are I may stick around for a while, otherwise, I have to go find a party with hookers. MMMMMMMM Hoooookers.

::Saddles up next to the bar and starts talking to a woman wearing so much blue eye shadow, guys are using her to chalk their pool cues::

For God’s sake, keep me away from the tequila.

Last time I got involved with that stuff I stole a police cruiser.

Nice spread, Phouka.

Er, the buffet.

Happy 500. Keep 'em coming.

Congrats, phouka!

Nice party - where’s the babes?

::grabs a beer, heads for the hot tub::

(zyada shows up with a hanging bag, an object wrapped in cloth and a tote bag, and eyes the buffet)

Hey, Phouka, where’s a room I can stow this stuff in for a little while?

(phouka shows her a coat closet, so z. puts her stuff up, then heads for the buffet)

Yum, hummus!

…in a state so nonintuitive it can only be called weird…

And fresh falafal (sp?) if you’ll tell me what’s in the tote, Zyada, sweetie . . . :wink:

::chugs a beer::

PARTY! Wat to go, phouka!!

::noogies phouka::


:grabs another beer and runs out to the hot tub, jumps in fully clothed::

I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

Phouka, you are an example and an inspiration to us all. Greatly enjoyed the 500 and keep 'em coming.

And that is in no way influenced at all by the Guiness, florentine pizza, hummus, skinny dipping pool with 21 yr old (male) Swedish life guards.


Phouka -

Well, what’s a party without some entertainment :wink:

All we need to do is get some more people to show up!

Male Swedish Lifeguards?!?!

Shadowfox tears off her clothes, throws herself into the hot tub and flails around helplessly…


Flee at once, all is discovered!

Congratulations, sweetheart!

Wow, FIVE HUNDRED + posts! That is MOST awesome :)! I think I’m working on something like my 15th or so :))!


“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.”
–Daniel J Boorstin

(A tall, swarthy and very handsome man appears in the party and moves over to Zyada)

Phouka, this is Antonio, he’s going to be helping me. Antonio, this is Phouka, our hostess.

(Antonio kissed Phouka on each cheek, then on the mouth, hostess gift, don’t ya know :wink: as Zyada gets her stuff and heads for the bathroom.)
(A few minutes later, Antonio politely asks for silence )

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a special treat for you from the Middle East; but first I wish to say something. In the middle east when someone sees something of great beauty they say Aiwa which roughly translates to “Oh, yeah”. When they see something of great passion, they say Yallah! which means “You go, girl”. And when they see something of great skill, they say Opah, which roughly translates to “Holy shit, look at that”. Please, welcome Zyada

*To the sound of an instrument that sounds like a combination between an oboe and a snorkel, Zyada enters in a swirl of blue, green and yellow silk. Her movements and the flow of silk remind people of billowing sails, the undulating patterns of wind blowing across tall grass, or maybe rumpled bed sheets…

The music stops as she drops her veil, revealing a rather scanty top & belt covered with swinging fringes of green and gold beads, and a green chiffon skirt decorated with sequins. The skirt is just sheer enough to make you wonder, but she launches into a twirling, shimmying energetic dance as the music starts up again and you can never quite make out just how sheer the skirt is. She accompanies the music and her dancing with the rhythmic ringing of finger cymbals. As she dances, she throws flirtatious smiles at the men, and conspiratorial grins at the women.

The music changes again as she hands her zills to Antonio and receives a scimitar from him. She balances the sword on her head, then proceeds with slow undulating, sinuous movements, the sword defying gravity as the music gets faster, until she starts turning then grabs the sword, and drops into a backbend to finish the dance.

Amid riotous applause, she stands back up, curtsies deeply to the room, then returns to the bathroom to change back into her normal clothes*