Phrases that SHOULD have a sexual connotation...

I searched for threads like this - I know there has to be some - but couldn’t come up with anything…

Letterman has had at least one Top 10 list like this - the Top 10 phrases that sound like they should have a sexual connotation, but don’t. The only one I remember is “jumping the turnstile”.

I thought of this topic as I was getting ready to play guitar - and the phrases that came to mind were numerous:

Tuning the Guitar
Fingering My Guitar
Adjusting the Pickup
Playing triplets

It gets very Beavis and Butthead fast. So - what phrases do YOU think should have a sexual connotation, but to your knowledge, don’t?

On disciplining simians: Should I spank my monkey?

On wood finishing: Should I lacquer?

On driving habits: Riding the brake

On Enterprise: What’s a Jeffries Tube?

I always thought you should be able to give someone a “Carpet Bombing.”

Not exactly sure how you’d go about doing that, though.

“Predawn vertical insertion,” which I believe was the term the Pentagon used to describe our invasion of Grenada.

“Deep shag carpet” or even worse, setting your vacuum cleaner to “Deep shag” allways excites.

“Innuendo” should have a sexual connotation.

Last week, my SO got two things for the computer. One was a lapping kit, the other a mounting kit.
I giggled.

It does. According to an ancient Playboy joke page, innuendo is an Italian suppository.:smiley:

Some more of Letterman’s that I remember:

Tethering the Blimp
Shaking hands with Mr. Lincon
Sending out for Sushi
Windsurfing on Mount. Baldy.

liquor…

liquor??!?! I don’t even know her!

Engineering 101: Rigid Member Analysis. Hehe!

And the words ‘flaccid’ and ‘turgid’ are ruined forever.

Oh, and the cute little story of the kid saving a Dutch town by putting his finger in a dyke. Don’t worry, the link is safe for work and details the fairy-tale.

When taking blood, they insert a needle on your arm. Where I go, they call it sticking. So sometimes they tell me things like:

“He sticks well.”
“He stuck you deep.”
“If you bleed a lot, he stuck you deep.”
“He knows how to stick.”

I have close my eyes and control my laugh…

Haha, that line reminds me of chique’s 1k post party a few years back, when she uttered, “Likker all around, says I

heh.

I get morning reports from a lot of drilling rigs, and they’re full of stuff, much of it in acronyms, like POOH, meaning “pulliing out of hole.” Other common ones that might stir one’s imagination:

Move In Rig Up
Nipple Up Blow Out Preventers
Shear Rams
Of course, Drilling In Hole
Tool In Hole
Going In Hole With Fish
Reaming In Hole
Conditioning Hole
Rigging Up Downhole Vibrator

And many more.

While not suggestive, I’ve always been partial to WOW and WOO - Waiting On Weather and Waiting On Orders.

Booting up
Hard drive
Floppy disk
Corrupt RAM
Flashing the BIOS
Motherboard
Daughterboard
PCI slot
Palm Pilot
Downloading

One that just came up in chat:

“I’ll carbonate YOUR Kool-Ade!”

Long story. Don’t ask.

[Joey T.] Grandma´s Chicken Salad [/Joey T.]

“There’s always room for Jello” :smiley:

Flange.

ballpark.