semi-relevant story:
A couple of days ago we asked a little six year old girl if her daddy (who is outwardly very grumpy) ever smiles. She replied “Sometimes he even laughs, when he’s got his head on his pillow and he’s poking my mummy”.
That sounds a bit rude…
An event from UK childrens TV, they would get children to announce the next session of the show, this little girl was asked to announce “Next we have Grand Prix”
So naturally she said
“Next we have grand pricks” the adult presenter blanched and said “No that is Grand Prix” to which the girl in all innocents said “It says here grand pricks”.
“Insert Tab A into Slot B.”
“Dusting the furniture”
… well, it DOES have a sexual connotation in MY house.
“a dry rub for my meat”
Vacancy
When I was a kid, I thought “Vacancy” meant you could have sex there, and “No Vacancy” meant you couldn’t. I didn’t know exactly what sex was, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with Vacancy.
Leave me alone or I’m calling the police.
If that phrase had a sexual connotation I would be a stud!
“Burnishing the Chia Pet” (long story)
“Hugh Jackman”. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds obscene.
“Double tonguing.”
I used to be able to triple tongue, but now I’m outta practice. 
“jump the shark”
and simply the word “cockpit”
I was the only one in my Econ class to think that “oligopoly” sounded dirty. Don’t know why, it just does.
scott
Heard in the bedroom last night:
“Shall I demonstrate my double emboucher?”
“Tastes like chicken!”
“Can you hear me now?”
When I worked at Radio Shack, it always appealed to my juvenile sense of humor when someone came in and asked for butt connectors.
ME: “Can I help you?”
CUSTOMER: “I need about a dozen insulated butt connectors.”
ME: “Having a big party this weekend, eh?”
CUSTOMER: “Excuse me?”
ME: “Never mind. Right this way.”
And don’t forget the butt splices. The really strange thing is, I even have a sound effect in my mind for those.
In the wacky new world of C# and web services there are SOAP transactions.
More engineering:
Dynamic pressure head
vs the more stationary
Static pressure head
Kick ball change.
It’s a dance step, but I always have this (way in the back of my head) image of some sneaky hoofer nailing some poor guy between the legs and then doing a 'quickchange artist" like disappearance.
Now I’ll always think of you when I adjust my truss rod.
I’ve used “Toppling the regime” as a euphamism for a few months now.
Everyone pretends not to know what I’m talking about.
Insurgency