In memory of a classic Monty Python skit
“Wank…el rotary engine.”
Also
Jiffy Lube
Pop Rocks
I hadn’t thought of that one!
How about:
- getting better sustain
- perfecting your vibrato
- re-tubing the amp
“Titular bishopric”
Who says the church is prudish?
Then of course you have the religious couple who gave talks in churches aimed at raising funds to support the overseas ministries they’d undertaken. That’s right, they wanted money so they could condinue doing their missionary position.
Unassisted triple-play.
I work in a bakery, and there are quite a few giggly phrases that get mentioned from time to time.
- Tickling the baguettes
- Flouring the coosh
- Retarding the bread
Okay, that last one isn’t dirty, but it makes me laugh every time.
“Don’t forget to clamp your butt joint.”
giggle
“What?” pause “Yeah, you’re right. A miter joint would work better.”
“Than a…?”
“Butt joint.”
giggle
Sign at the Wild West Saloon:
“Liquor up front and Poker in the rear.”
kvetching
going along for the ride
shift on the fly
I was doing a sculpture several years ago that required a large bolt type object. I went to Fastenall and told they guy, “I need a big screw.” He didn’t even blink, and I got the biggest, most excellent screw from him… for free. In the name of art, of course.
Other sayings that make me giggle:
“Would you like a cocktail?”
Lake Titicaca
Buttering someone up (I always think of Last Tango in Paris)
Here’s a few from the fire service:
It’s blowing out onto the front lawn! (Big fire, street side)
Gotta bad head on 3rd floor. (Defective smoke detector)
Did somebody pull a box? - the head is great. (Was a manual pull station activated, the smoke detector did not activate the alarm)
First the spreader, then the ram. (Sequence of hydraulic rescue tools for an auto extrication)
Woo Hoo! Get the stick up, and put on the big bore nozzle!
(Place the aerial ladder in service, and install the largest diameter fitting)
Forcible entry. (Employment of hand or power tools to gain egress)
Damn, she’s hot! Gimme another bottle-I’m going back in. (A hot fire, indeed. I need a replacement cylinder for my breathing apparatus before I rejoin the interior crew)
You’re screwing the wrong way! (Hose does not come with left hand threads)
Everythings still loose. You can suck all you want, but it isn’t gonna come. (Fittings are leaking, and running the primer pump will not enable the engine to draw from draft)
Sucking vs. blowing (Positive vs. negative pressure ventilation)
Bang this box again-we’re gonna be up for a while (Strike an additional alarm-this is going to be a lengthy operation)
Then there’s my day job-construction:
We have studs of all length and girth, always nailing or screwing,
nipples of every imaginable color and size for the electricians and plumbers, pipe and flooring get laid, adhesive is spread, electricians have dikes, and create assholes when wire is improperly pulled, the wire has nuts and goes into boxes, switches can be three-way, and when a wall is really large, you need help with your erection.
Two I remember from my active military days:
Reproduction NCO (guy in charge of making copies of orders and whatnot)
Mail in my/your box (everyone in the barracks has a little post office box next to the mail room)
From the computer helpdesk world:
Mouse ball
Glidestick
3.5" floppy
Don’t forget to dicker!
Burst transfer rate.
Slipped them a mickey
Access the port.
For the DB crowd
one to one relationship
many to one relationship
one to many relationship
many to many relationship
This one popped into my head a couple of days ago - “My dog always comes when she’s called.”
danceswithcats the fire service ones take the cake - lol!!
[hijacking my own thread]
I think this is my first thread that went on to a second page - woo hoo!!
[/hijacking my own thread]
“Stocking stuffer” has always struck me as being in the it should have a sexual connotation camp.
(And having been playing bass for a little over a year now, I can relate with all the sexual sounding guitar terms, Wordman)