Pick up lines

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

What are your favorite “pick up” lines? ( Like these would work. :rolleyes: )
Do you work for UPS? Cuz I saw u checkin out my package.

Your name must be Gillette cuz you’re sooooo smooth.

Is that a space suit you’re wearing? Cuz you’re outta this world!

You must be the limp doctor because I’ve got a stiffy.

You can feel the magic between us…No, lower!

Girl, if you were a porch I’d take out all the nails and screw ya.

If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

(Look down at the crotch) It’s not just going to suck itself.

Sex is a killer…want to die happy?

Are you lost ma’am? Because heaven’s a long way from here.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any Questions?

Yo…is your daddy a terrorist? Cuz you DA BOMB!"

What could be so wrong in heaven that an angel like you is here on earth?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Nice legs…what time do they open?

Legs is the word. How 'bout you and me go up to my room and spread the word?

My name is (name here)…remember that, you’ll be screaming it later.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

I know Milk it does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

You’ve got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? What you don’t like pizza?

I noticed you noticing me, I’m just gonna put you on notice that I noticed you too

They call me coffee. I grind so fine.

Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me.

Hi, my name is “Milk”. I’ll do your body good.

Can I borrow a quarter? (What for?) I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Hello, I’m a theif and I’m here to steal your heart.

Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

Do you sleep an your stomach at night? Can I???

I’m new in town, can I have directions to your house?

Is that windex or can I see myself inside your pants?

There must be something wrong with my eyes cuz I can’t take them off you.

Help the homeless. Take me home with you!

I hope you know CPR cause you take my breath away!

Baby, somebody call God cause he’s missing an angel.

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you and I together.

Let me check the tag on your shirt, I want to see if
it says “Made in Heaven”

The only place I want to go is south of the border.

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

I’ve got a bucket of KFC in my pants, wanna get down and get greasy?

2

Buy me a drink and you can take me home.

It’s never worked for me, but it worked on me.

(She lied. It took several drinks.)

3

I have a big dck, wanna fck?

(short and sweet)

4

I’ve always liked…

drop something

“oopsie, could you get that for me please?..
And, while you’re down there…”

5

I’ll ring your bell in another thread, let’s leave WierdDave with his thread! Let’s go back to “Screw It!”

6

this may be a decade too late but

“I’ve got half-a-pound of coke in the back of my Porshe”

hmmmm

7

I always heard it “Nice shoes. Wanna f*uck?”, but the idea’s the same.

8

That’s a great one…

9

I’ve got an F, C, and K; now all I need is U.

(At work) I’ve got a couple minutes left on break. Wanna screw?

Are the police after you too?

10

Stupid, but still one of my favorites:

“Girl/Baby/Boy/Shorty, you so fine your middle name must be, Daaaaaaaamn!”

Thing is, that would so work on me. :wink:

11

I have to add these whereever I get the chance…

“Baby, you get better looking every day, and today you look like tomorrow.”

“Two words Mmmmmmmm mmm!”

“You are the Rosebud in the thornbush of my life.”

“Let me show you my Love Machine. All you gotta do is plug it in”

“Let’s get something straight between us”

12

Is that semen in your hair?

What’s the hourly rate?

I’ve never c*m across teeth that white before…

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

So…spit or swallow?

[sub]And my all time favorite[/sub]

You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

13

UUUUGGGGHHHH!!

God Danm thats heavy!

At least that’s what I say when I pick things up.

14

So, have I lost weight, or did I just get cuter?

15

You must be from Tennessee, 'cuz you’re the only 10 I see.

Hey, nice blouse, but you know what would really look good on you? Me.

So, what do you want for breakfast tomorrow morning?

Wanna play flag? Sit on my pole and wave.

:rolleyes:

16

the thing is, provided that the other person knew it was a ridiculous line, so many of these would SO work on me.

17

I’m surprised I haven’t seen my old favorite here yet:

“You got any Italian/Irish/Spanish/African/Whatever in you? Would you like some?”

-L

18

Come sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.

Those clothes would look great crumpled up on my floor tomorrow morning.

19

If you’ve ever seen my Blue Heaven you’ll know where this is coming from. There’s one scene where Steve Martin is in the food store in the frozen food section and he says “You know you really shouldn’t be here, you could melt all this stuff.” in that New York Italian accent. I tried it once and it worked, a bit anyway. She talked to me for awhile then told me she had a bf. No one thought I would do it, I thought it was great.

20

Let’s breed.