Sexual Innuendo Pick-Up Lines

I have a job for you, but it blows.

Hi. I’m Italian. Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?..

What time do you get off? Can I watch?

You’ve been a bad girl! Go to my room!

Where you recommened a dog bury his bone around here?

Q. What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?
A. My zipper

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?
Okay, all I could find to start this off. I’ll think up some of my own to add later.

Let’s see yours…

So you don’t have a date for New Years and you wanna get laid, eh?


Hello, my name is Picard Kills Kirk.

-Indoors somewhere-

Her “Hey, how you doing?”

You “I’m doing great now. It was really cold in here before you showed up.”

I love and hate these threads!

Love them because they’re usually hilarious but I hate them because I always forget all the lines as soon as I leave the computer. How am I supposed to put them to use if I forget them? :frowning:

“How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. . . hi, I’m Tripler

Never tried it. I got my babe by eating hamburgers in Atlanta.

I know what you mean…

I feel it’s good exercise for the mind, even if I remember none of these specifically.

ETA: And yes, it’d be rare that I actually used one of these unless I was being an obvious bafoon.

Well if I actually wanted to pick up a girl, I’d stay away from using these right off the bat. Some are so damn over the top though, that once you got some comfort and rapport built with a woman, they can elicit a good chuckle. :wink:

I’m sure you’re all considered very attractive on your own planet. :rolleyes:


That’s a gorgeous dress; it looks great on you. But it would look better on the floor.

This from a goldsmith in Europe: “Would you like to see my jewels?”

You can’t have a thread like this and leave out the standard: “If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

Play on words… slightly different from my previous.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

My ObGyn met her husband through his best friend at a bar when the BF came over and said, " Would any of you ladies care for some conversational intercourse."
It is quite an awesome line.

Another retort: “I do, but not with you.”

“How would you like to come back to my place and stare at the ceiling for a while?”

“Is this guy boring you? Come talk to me- I’m from another planet.”

That would work on me because it’s actually amusing and lacks sexual innuendo.