Need some surefire lines that are gonna get me some action with the classy broads that hang out in the seedy bars and dives I frequent.
Along the lines of “Baby, I hate to see ya go, but sure love watching ya leave.”
or
“Your clothes must be made of mirrors cus I can see myself in your pants.”
The most effective line you can possibly use is, “Hi, my name is MadTheSwine. How are you tonight?” Then ask her some questions about herself…find out her name, what she does for a living, what she does for fun, etc. As a chick I find I respond much better to that kind of pick up line than I do the other ones, but YMMV.
The best advice I can give you is that Nature doesn’t care if you enjoy sex. Nature only cares that you think you are going to.
“How you doin’?”
Of course if you just want her attention I’d go with the classic
“So there I was balls deep in Santa Claus”
or
“Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” - only works on the extra classy
pbbth , You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I’d really like to make love to you.
I was more looking for really bad pick-up lines.
“Wanna go halvsies on a baby?”
Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
Excuse me, I lost my number. Can I have yours?
Nice pants, they’ll look good on my floor later.
Hi, my name is MadtheSwine. Make sure you remember that because you’ll be screaming it later.
Oh, if you want really bad pick up lines I can tell you that the worst I have heard have been, “Just so you know, I enjoy eating pussy” and, courtesy of some guy I walked by in Harlem a few weeks ago, if you grab a woman by the arm and scream, “Nice tits!” that will give you the added bonus of looking confused and indignant when she pulls free and runs away.
Look, just find the shortest woman in the bar, post her up, and you’ll score all night. No way a 5’0" lady in high heels is going to stop you when you drop-step and power move to the basket.
What? Not that type of score?
Errrrr…never mind.
ok, how bad we talking?
“Buy me a drink and I’m yours”
“You look like trouble, and trouble is what I want to be in.”
“NIIIIIIIIICE”
“I’d hit that”
“You know I’m really a skinny guy, I just have my dick wrapped around my waist a few times.”
For a more educated nerdy crowd
“Wanna see what happens when our packets collide”
“I would love to be your perpendicular bisector”
“Hey baby, wanna demonstration of my burst transfer rate”
Hold up two fingers and ask, “Do you know why these two fingers are the best to masturbate with?”
“Because they’re mine.”
“Hey baby, are those space pants you’re wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.”
Or my all-time favourite:
“I burned my tongue. Can you kiss it better?”
:: throws drink in Inigo’s face ::
Yes, I suppose the horror would be if the line were recognized.
“Want to go get high?”
That one’s my silver bullet. Of course, you have to make a little small talk first.
“Did you hurt yourself when you fell down from heaven?”
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.”
“If you were a McDonald’s sandwich, you’de be called McGorgeous.”
“You know for a fat chick you sure don’t sweat that much.”
See, now I read that as:
Napier doesn’t care if you enjoy sex. Napier only cares that you think you are going to.
which then becomes the best pick up line in the thread.
Oh, I just realized this thread was supposed to be a joke. In that case, there’s the all time classic:
“Suck me, beautiful.”
In case you actually want to pick up a girl easily for real, asking her if she wants to go get high is one of the most simple, direct and effective lines you can use. Not that I would ever advise you to actually get high. No sir, not me.