I would vote John Mace and What Exit?. Also **Bricker ** for Veep; I don’t agree with him a lot of the time but he’d definetly uphold the law.
I say I would, because I think i’m supposed to be voting for Skald as a prestep to taking over the world.
I’m more of a kingmaker than a king; think James Baker III without the gung-ho approval of laissez-faire Reaganomics and predilection for dumping the mentally indigent on the streets. It’s not that I don’t want to shoulder responsibility for making things work, but I don’t want the limelight. And besides, Presidents only get the most banal, obvious, repetative dialogue; the best lines are reserved for advisors. I’m the Robert DeNiro character from Wag The Dog, hiding behind a beard and scarf and freely mixing cynicism with an unwavering devotion to spinning the story favorably: *“54, 40 or fight. What does that mean?..Remember the Maine…Tippecanoe and Tyler, too…They’re war slogans Mr. Motss. We remember the slogans, we can’t even remember the fucking wars. Y’know why? Cause its show business. That’s why I’m here. Naked girl, covered in Napalm. Five marines Raising the Flag, Mount Suribachi. V for Victory, Y’remember the picture, fifty years from now, they’ll have forgotten the war. Gulf War? Smart bomb, falling down a chimney. Twenty-five-hundred missions a day, 100 days, one video of one bomb Mr. Motss. The American people bought that war. War is show business. That’s why wer’re here.”*So I decline your gracious nomination. I think we need a well-spoken, flamboyant figurehead for President who can distract from the real issues by cracking jokes and telling interesting and meandering but ultimately irrelevent anecdotes about his family and life, and I can think of no one better suited to the role than Sampiro.
Stranger
I think we can all agree that we need Qadgop the Mercotan as Surgeon General.
Meanwhile, my POTUS vote goes to whoever that was who promised us all nekkid pics of Daniel Radcliffe. I’m no Potterphile, but I saw the publicity pics of him from Equus. Humma humma. 
As long as I have the funds I require for palaces, temples, statues, games/circuses, gold coins to toss to the masses, a Liberace-sque wardrobe, and payment of my fanatically loyal army of lesbian bodyguards to ward off the certain assassination attempts, you can be the eminence grise all you like. It can’t take more than a few billion a year tops and we’ve got that to spare. In fact, my method of dealing with committee meetings, opposition leaders, bureaucracy, and quotidian fund-raising and legislation would involve showing them the implements of extraordinary rendition and occasional firing squads, so your handling of those things might be mutually beneficial. (You’re not a eunuch though are you? They’re efficient as hell but they can be duplicitous.)
PS- I’m thinking something like this for my inaugural coronation outfit, and something like this for the White House redecoration. That most of downtown DC will need to be levelled goes without saying, but the Smithsonian and LoC will still be standing, just now wings of the palace. (And I am totally trying on anything I want from the former and indefinitely borrowing anything I like from the latter, up to and including the contents of Lincoln’s pockets.)
As a Brit and therefore unable to stand or even be nominated for POTUS may I suggest, in no particular order, the following.
SSG Schwartz…5 star general and head honcho
Qadgop the thingy…head of doctors and stuff
Revenant Threshold…CiC of church stuff
LobsterMobster…responsible for ag and fish
Asimovian…bacon salt recipe improvement and research
I dunno Sampiro that outfit is nice but this one seems much more suited for dancing.
Oh, and thanks to VunderBob for the nomination but I’d rather be Supreme Brewmeister in charge of all the breweries in the world. That way I can make people I don’t like work third shift. Plus, you know, I’d have beer around all the time.
And you can write your own campaign slogans, too! Think of the savings!
And if you have a few extra Hot Chicks[sup]TM[/sup], can you ship them this way? The ones here tend to be married or a generation too young for me.
Another likely John Mace voter here. One, I agree with him on most issues; and two, he seems smart and rational. FWIW, I wish it were that easy finding a candidate I could say both of those things about who’s actually running!
No Panties Thursdays!
And Caturdays? Don’t be silly. Governments have no authority over cats. Nor does anyone else, really.
After 3 divorces, no citizen shall be allowed to marry again. That’s the way to protect the institution of marriage.
In federal elections, every voter will be handed $10, spot cash money, on or without the barrelhead.
I’d just like to say that, if I’m elected, I will convert the Department of Defense network to SDMB and guarantee 5 nines reliability.
Oh, and Der Trihs will be my liaison to the worlds religious leaders.
I can promise you the worst-conceived presidential campaign ever, all based on the import of foreign hot chicks, and the priority rescue of domestic hot chicks from disaster scenes. Immigration visas will be awarded on the basis of swimwear competition: domestic resues will be carried out based on the look of wet T-shirts handed out by the National Guard. All will have to transit through DC to receive their, er, benefits, and the “thanks” of a grateful Commander in Briefs.
I plan on having very open borders, so you Canucks are welcome to cruise down from the border and settle on the banks of the Potomac, to pick off the surplus hot chicks trying to swim upstream.
I’m sorry, you will just have to swallow your distaste for young hot chick and get used to doing ones under 25.
Ooh, which gives me another idea… it’s time for a draftee, all hot chick army. What other army is going to shoot at them when they land on foreign soil? And I think lingerie ought to be way cheaper than body armor. Though I’m sure that very soon the Pentagon will be ordering $10K Wonder Bras.
I have three votes for President?
Who knew?
Well, if nominated, I shall run. Fast. And far.
Besides, as soon as my checkered past became public record, the impeachment proceedings would take the fast track.
Tris
“Don’t follow leaders. Watch parking meters.” ~ Bob Dylan ~
May I nominate myself for Prime Minister of Canada?
I promise free beer to everyone, holidays during the hockey playoff season, and official Mountie swimsuit calendars. Also a pet beaver to all families.
Sounds good! Will you be declaring Tim Horton’s to be a strategic national resource? Are the Mounties female? And will you finish metricating the country? I’m sick of this muddle.
And will your computers be running MOOSE, the operating system with antlers[sup]sm[/sup]? 
[sub]Have you ever seen a beaver up close? They’re giant rodents![/sub]
Many thanks, What Exit? You already have dibs on the SECNAV post, and I’ll see if I can get you some front-row tickets to my Inauguration.
I don’t know about a checkered past, but if elected I promise to wear checkered pants.
I seem to recall that the original US government (those thieving bastards) discussed having a national brewmeister or office of beer. I’ll support anyone who will support that.
mmm, beer.
Sorry, no established church in the USA.
How to choose? Who to choose?
This is too hard.
For POTUS, I choose HippyHollow–bit of a dark horse, but there’s more there than meets the eye.
For VP–Sampiro. It’s mostly pageantry anyways. Nice outfit, btw. Love what you’ve done to the place!
For Sec of Sate- Anaamika. All those pesky 3rd world countries, you know. (I kid!)
Sec of the Interior–WhyNot. Dunno why, just makes sense.
Sec of Defense-elucidator. Yes–now we’ll finally get that Pentagon budget under control!
Speaker of the House- tricky one.** Bricker**. Maybe we’ll get some decent laws enacted.
I fully expect pandering, patronage and the old boy/new girl network to work well. (hint, hint).