Picking up is hard to do

[Snowboarder_Bo]

You did fine.

You weren’t too forward, you kept things pleasant, you gave her the option and ability to contact you again. I think yer right about the job-hunting help thing, but hey, I’ll bet the 6th time you talk to a stranger you don’t make that same mistake (plenty of new ones to try out, after all!).

I was working on the trade show floor, installing the lighting for a booth. One of the other people in the booth, handling the media (pamphlets, mailers, hanging posters, etc.) was a very attractive lady. About midway thru the day, while on a break, I overheard her talking with another lady. They had 1 cell phone between them (their company phone) and Attractive Lady was asked to hand it over.

“I thought you had it.”
“Well, I thought you had it.”

I laughed out loud at that, was confronted, told AL that it was amusing that they were keeping track of dozens of different media thingies but lost their only cel phone. We all laughed, then went back to work.

At the end of my day, AL and her friend came to me as I was packing up.

“So, you live here, right? What are some nice bars and restaurant nearby?”
“Hmm. Tell you what. Here’s my card. Call me when you’re ready to go out, and I’ll show you some good places to go and have fun.”

She called 2 nights later, we went out and shot pool and listened to some jazz, then went back to my place (boom chicka wah wah). Even tho she lived in Cali, we saw each other when she was in town, and eventually we were hopping back and forth every couple of weeks to see each other. That lasted for a little over 2 years, and even tho things eventually went sour, I had a lot of great times with her.

So, the lesson is: be friendly, be casual, and be prepared. Practice helps in all 3 areas. When you find yourself doing something you think is wrong (or not leading to your desired outcome), just note it and don’t do it again.

[control-z]

You did great. Just meeting and talking to someone is a BIG accomplishment. Don’t be too helpful, don’t be too complimentary, don’t be needy.

[Inigo_Montoya]

@kaylasdad99

He also knows where she works.

Totally. OP should stake the place out, find out when she works and then causally drop in for coffee. Just coffee. Stay for a couple hours just having coffee and watching her every move. It’s really the only way to decide if you like her. You ever need advice on wimmins, you just come to your uncle Inigo.

I met my girl at a staff meeting at work. She was the new kid on the team and brought in a really fresh, brilliant perspective to solve a nagging issue. Someone took a shot at her for being new and unfamiliar with how things really work and I spoke up on her behalf–I had about twice as many years on the ‘old-timer’ that was putting her in her place so it was a pretty solid coup. It wasn’t until after she thanked me later that I realized she was smokin’ hot. Took about 18 months of trying really hard to not flirt too much before conditions were perfect.

Salamanderman, if she don’t call, she don’t call. You know she’s looking for friends, I strongly urge you to work that path first for two reasons: 1) friends make excellent lovers, 2) lovers who don’t make good friends are a waste of time. IMHO.

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

Picking up is hard to do–but I done it.

Went into her place of business, spotted her sitting by her lonesome eating a staff meal before the dinner rush, reintroduced myself, asked her if she’d like to have coffee or dessert this Saturday whenever she gets off from work, picked a time and place to meet (her bike near the subway, 5 PM) and we’re off.

If she shows up only to spit in my face, I’ll consider that a successful pickup. Anything more is gravy, unless she spits gravy in my face. Then it’s questionable.

And she was even prettier and sweeter than I remember her being.

Thanks, all, for the encouragment.

[Inigo_Montoya]

Dude, if she spits gravy in your face try to catch as much as possible in your mouth and spit it back. I know it sounds weird, but this is a common but rarely talked about pre-coital signal practiced throughout the Mapleleaf state. If you can return at least half of the gravy then you’re in there like swimwear.

[missred]

Yay!!! Let us know how your date turns out.

As a woman, I think your approach was almost perfect. No artificial BS, a bit geeky in an endearing way and it gave her some options.

Best of luck!

[World_Eater]

@pseudotriton_ruber_ruber

No, I did not. If I’d gotten her phone number, I’d have considered that tangible success. It just seemed forward to me to ask. I always hope that when I give them my phone number, they’ll say “And here’s mine.” Most natural thing in the world, right? Never happens. And they never call. (I say “never” like I did this all the time. The five times I’ve tried this in the last ten years, nary a phone call.)

That’s the right move. In NYC there are so many nuts that are always harassing a woman for her number. These days You make an impression when you DON’T ask for it.

I’ve always closed out a “stranger meeting” with…

“It’s been really to meet you, here’s my email/cell. If you’re ever interested in hanging out, give me a buzz.”

It’s non creepy, and it shows you have confidence. Always works like a charm for me.