Kirstie, honey? We know that you’re a washed up lunatic who couldn’t get work in a Thai sweatshop, and that you pay through the nose for your auditing sessions, but did you really have to inflict upon the world “Santa, Baby?”
With your Scraggle-tooth, baby-shit-green dress and creepy-ass lyrics, your monstrosity of a Pier-One Imports commercial has been released like the eighth plague throughout the land.
Wanting to fuck Santa isn’t kosher, or whatever the fuck L. Ron Hubbard’s standard of fitness for consumption are.
The lyrics. They are stuck in my head. “So hurry down the chimney tonight!”
Arrgghhhh, Damn YOU ALLEY!
“Santa, baby, a comfy little sofa for two. Light Blue!” AWW FUCK!:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :smack: :smack:
You do know that Santa Baby was originally recorded in 1954 by Ertha Kitt, right? It has been rerecorded by everybody from Maralyn Monroe to Madonna. Hell, Everclear even did a version of it.
Kirstie may be a bit washed up (why the hell else would anyone do a commercial for Old Navy?), but you can hardly blame her for a 50 year old torch song.
Somebody, however, needs to tell her that those Victorian bustle dresses don’t really hide her hips…
Not that it matters much to me, not being particularly lured by the feminine form in any shape, but what was interesting costuming for the Christmas-season Pier1 commercial two years ago has become a constant, in-season or out, and it’s pretty damn obvious why she insists on wearing that style…
I think Kirstie (not Kristy? I dunno) was kinda cute in that commercial. All plump and pretty. She didn’t make up the words, you know. Nor did the commercial people.
Well…some of the words they definitely made up. I am quite certain that Eartha did not sing “slip a table under the tree” or “a comfy little sofa for two. Light blue.”
Besides, I’m a purist. I find anything other than the Eartha Kitt original to be sacrilege. Yes, even Madonna’s Betty Boop homage…
True, she looks like a goddamn maniac. And true, that green dress made her ass look like it was the size of Saskatchewan. But her Santa Baby ad still has to take a second-place in creepiness to the one where she pops out of a cake!
Tripler’s right, she was hot in ST II. But that cake ad… that could do serious pyschosexual trauma.