If pizza is supposed to be “bad” for you, is there pizza in Heaven? If not, can it really be considered “Heaven?” What else do I have to look forward to not being there? Hockey? Scratching myself? Wearing worn out sweatshirts and going barefoot?
Sweet Mother of Mary, should I start being bad immediately?
(singing)
Let there be Pizza on Earth
And let it begin with ME
Let there be Pizza on Earth
The Pizza that was meant to be
My priest once reassured me not only will there be pizza in heaven, but you will like mushrooms by then.
So far, he’s got the mushroom part right, so I’m going with him all the way on this one.
When my wife was young she was told that in Heaven your silverware would have handles three feet long so you would have to cooperate with your fellow saints and feed each other at meals. I guess the people who would choke down on the handle and poke out their companions’ eyes wouldn’t have made the cut, anyway.
That being Methodist Heaven, I’m sure there’s no pizza, especially with garlic. Jello molds are more likely.
Hey, drop, I heard that story, too! Methodist church camp, when I was about ten years old!
See, in hell, everyone was skinny and surly and starving, because they were all trying to feed themselves with those unwieldy utensils! But up in heaven, all the angels were fat and sassy because they were feeding their counterpart across the table!
I decided then and there to go straight to hell, and eat with my hands.