Please do not hit up my guests for sex

The BBQ Pit
#1

We know that you are married to a mouthy mean-spirited harpie from the lower echelons of Hades. Yes, we also know how miserable she makes you and how she makes you beg for sex, because you tell us. However, if it isn’t bad enough that you propositioned me, my best friend, my co-worker, and my next door neighbour for sex on the night of my boyfriend’s party, at our house - it has come to light that you’ve also hit up your sister-in-law and your best friend’s wife. You are the biggest fucking sleaze I have ever met, and those of us you’ve hit on are ashamed we’ve never said anything before, therefore you laugh it off and get away with it, whilst your stupid fucking wife pretends she doesn’t see it.

Well pal, enough is enough. I’ve had two very dear friends tell me in recent days that you offered to ‘fuck them sideways’ and then had the bare-faced cheek to whisper to one of them that you’ve slid me a length. No more dickhead! Apart from the fact that that’s a complete lie, how dare you tarnish my reputation, make my friends cry and generally make me embarrassed because of your behaviour.

You are nearly fucking forty, try acting it! If you don’t like your marriage then fucking leave, but do not get your jollies by hitting up MY guests at MY party at MY house. It makes you look like a fuckstick and me a bigger one for inviting you, when I know what you’re like. I hope your dick drops off. :mad:

#2

But, waittaminnit, that’s not fair! Yes, that all happened, but I have slid you a –

Oh. Wait. You live in Australia.

I must’ve been thinking of somebody . . .

Never mind.

#3

Well, to be fair, I was pretty drunk.

#4

Oh I so know what you’re going through. I have spent the last week feeling sick to my stomach everytime one of my acquaintance’s husband is around me. (We belong to vaguely the same social circle).

Without fail, every time this guy sees me, he finds a way to touch me and it drives me crazy. I wasn’t sure at first if I was just being supersensitive and over reacting, but when I realised last week I was having second thoughts about going out with my friends simply because this guy was going to be there, I realised it was turning into a serious problem that I had to address.

On Friday night, I met my friends for a glass of wine and he was there. I kind of leant over the table to put my hand bag down and he moved his elbow to press up against my breast. That was it.

I turned to him and said in a quite loudly “Please do not touch me again. I do not like it in the slightest, and if it continues, I will have to tell your wife.”

He kind of tried to make a joke of it, but one of my other friends said “She hates it. Leave her alone.” Finally he repositioned himself on the other side of the table and I was able to enjoy my night.

#5

BrainGlutton - you are a tool. :stuck_out_tongue:

#6

Okay, so there’s El Sleazo and his wife Harpie-head, then there’s me and mine, and then two other couples. We go camping together, have parties at each other’s houses, etc etc. And for the three other women in this mix (including me), we shrug it off and talk about him amongst ourselves. But I’m most upset that he tried this shit on with my co-worker (who had never met him). I don’t believe it’s my place to warn my guests on the invitation “please wear your ‘no entry’ signs as there will be a total fuck-knuckle at the same venue who will offer to fuck you senseless”. So no more invites for him and when his nasty fishwife asks why I’ll tell her to take up with him.

#7

So you can’t stand him, and you can’t stand his wife. Uhuh. I would certainly stop inviting them to social gatherings. It’s a thing I have.

#8

Yup. The part I’m not understanding is where having The Big Sleaze and Harpie Head around is better than, you know, NOT having them around. :confused:

ETA: Yeah, it kinda IS your fault that your co-worker was propositioned, when you invited her to a party with a guy that you KNOW is a complete sleaze. Not to let The Big Sleaze off the hook, but you had a hand in this crapfest, too.

#9

So, at the next get together, ask out loud “Who invited the drooling Lothario and his skank?”

Tris

#10

Correct on both counts, which is why I am kicking myself. Longstanding inter-connecting friendships and invitation lists are like wedding seating arrangements. The whole “you can’t invite the Joneses without inviting the Smiths” and “you can’t sit anyone next to uncle bob because he will get drunk and throw up on them”. The couple from Hell are going to be at all other functions I get invited to which invites the whole “if they are going to be there, then I won’t go” scenario. Our kids are friends who chat online together, and there will be fallout when the whole “why weren’t we invited?” thing starts.

#11

With the egregious nature of his offenses, I think a little honesty would be the way to go (not with his kids, but with the other couples) - “We’re tired of The Big Sleaze hitting on every woman around, and we are not socializing with him any longer.” If that prompted needing a new circle of friends, wouldn’t it be worth it?

(Do you have daughters? How would you feel about The Big Sleaze hitting on them in a few years? I wouldn’t trust this guy as far as I could throw him.)

#12

How about you say to him quietly next time you can do so: “If you sleaze on one of my friends again I’m going to have to stop inviting you to anything, and when your wife asks why (and she will) I am going to publically tell her”.

#13

Featherlou - you’ve hit the nail on the head. Update: I worry about the friends his son/daughter may bring home in years to come. In the meantime since my original post, I have been contacted by two of ‘the wives’ and we’ve come up with a battleplan. Namely, the three of us will discreetly confront him and tell him that it’s got to stop or his wife will be told the full measure of his campaigns. My buddies’ husbands would be mortified if they knew their fishing/camping/all round good guy was a slug. The only way it’s going to stop is with a good measure of honesty and confrontation.

#14

I think in your confrontation you should also say that if he doesn’t knock it off all of you wives will tell your husbands, which would cut this guy off from his major social circle – a fate that might to him be worse than having his wife told.

#15

I’m kinda surprised that someone hasn’t told their husband yet.

Because it seems like all you’d need is one guy to take this vermin aside and tell him that if he continued to do it, they’d break him in places that didn’t show, and his behavior might change.

On my end, I’d ask to show him something in a different room and having arrived out of sight from everyone, I’d grab him by the throat, slam him into the wall and tell him very quietly and very menacingly how much I would injure him if he ever touched or propositioned my wife, girlfriend or any other ‘female in the social circle not married to him’ again.

Bonus points for doing it in my bedroom, with the closet open to reveal my guns and other weapons (bows, swords, martial arts practice weapons, medieval mace…)

The noise would be explained as “Fred was just helping me move something. Right Fred?”

#16

His wife knows, don’t kid yourself. If their marriage is this unhappy and he has no problem saying it over and over she must feel the same about him (hence the sex Heisman). Telling her wont bring this perpetual hell to a close, they deserve each other, but you and your guests don’t deserve them. Excluding someone from your social circle is much less awkward when everyone agrees its for the best…and it looks like they do. Ok, done with the ‘Molly Manners’ now.

#17

I approve of this course of action. :stuck_out_tongue:

#18

I get hit on quite a lot, most of the time it is friendly banter, rarely is it sleazy propositioning or groping. Last year I had a father of one of the girls I coach, and roughly in the same social circle hit on me repeatedly. About the third time he did it, specifically when I had called to change his daughters schedule, and he decided to invite me over for sex because his wife was gone, I had had it.

Next time I saw him, which was in a public venue with his wife and about 10 other parents in close proximity, I said very strongly to never talk to me again like that in a voice just loud enough for him to hear. He feigned ignorance. I said “Do not hit on me again, or I will have to talk to your wife, and my husband” in a little louder voice, almost to the threshold of hearing for the other parents. I have kind of a strong personality, and projected it when I said this. He got my message.

Most men are fine, but these guys are weasels and losers. Oftentimes they pretend to just be ‘joking.’ They need to have some negative reinforcement, and many women will just blow it off, keep taking it.

#19

I just wanted to say I love the phrase “slid me a length”.

#20

My sentiments exactly. If all the wives know, but the husbands aren’t privy to any of this yet, it seems like the holdup is in the spousal communications department.