Okay. Time for another update. How did it go?
Yes, I’m curious, too. I can’t see it making much difference; it’s not like the guy didn’t know that hitting on everything on two legs for sex was wrong, and he continued to do it anyway, but here’s hoping.
What odds he asks them for a group grope?
Enough with the suspense, already! 
** Please do not hit up my guests for sex**
okay no hitting them up, but how about a straight forward business proposition???
I mean…no harm in asking …is there?
My Goodness! I’d disappeared off the board, and now I’m back! Okay, no more keeping you all in suspenders! The scheduled meeting indeed took place at my office which is the most neutral ground we could think of. He arrived punctually and was immediately wary with a whole “what the fuck is going on” kind of air. Yes, much like a small rodent with very sharp teeth will look when cornered by three very determined she-wolves.
I went first and said that he’d been acting like a tool, and that his behaviour was not wanted, not acceptable, not flattering and would no longer be tolerated. This was followed by examples from the other two of the times he has been inappropriate. It is timely to add that at this point, he started to sweat. He also tried lamely to defend himself (surprisingly though, not by saying he was pissed at the time), but by saying that what he said to others was ultimately his decision, and none of our business.
This was countered with that a guest’s behaviour at a function was indeed our business, as we all had other friends we would like to keep as friends at future functions, and that what he implied, suggested, out-and-out requested from us was not only our business, but had also caused us anxiety and some stress, (which left to fester turns to rancid anger).
The face-to-face went for about 30 minutes, and we finished by thanking him for turning up and for listening to what we had to say.
I have just come from of my friends houses, where he was visiting with the Harpy. My friend (also at the F2F) walked me to my car and remarked how very stony-faced and silent said lech had been, to which I replied “I think he’s still getting the kinks out of his sphicter”.
All good, however, we believe that the change in the behaviour has transformed from drooling sleaze into stony-faced ‘don’t give a fuck’. I know which I prefer, so I can happily say the message was delivered, and oh yes, it was received!
Ah, sweet closure. Kudos to you and your friends!
Yes, but the attitude more probably shows that he’s angry and is obsessively thinking about what he can or should do about it.
Wait a while, there will be some sort of negative reaction down the road a bit.
The most positive of possibilities from your angle will be that he and Harpy depart from your social scene, most probably leaving a trail of extremely harsh comments and negative judgments in their wake. I suggest that, rather than taking these to heart and getting angry about them, you instead laugh at the source.
Thing is, though, I don’t think you’ve made him feel shame and guilt, only fury at being balked and humiliated. My bet is he’ll try to get back at you, all of you, quite likely by spreading some really ugly rumors, saying he’s banged the lot of you and you were all lousy in bed, you’re all whoring behind your husbands’ backs, et cetera.
You all really should have told your husbands, because what’s going to be getting back to them is going to be nasty. If you tell them when the damage to your reputations has already been done, it will look like you’re covering your asses. No, I’m not saying your husbands will believe the rumors over you, only that you’ve put yourselves in a less tenable position than if they knew beforehand.
You and the other two, IMO, should tell them what you’ve done, and why, treat it as dealt with but tell them the truth. Unless they’re really dim they’re bound to see his behavior in your company has changed, aren’t they? What if they ask him, “Hey, XXXX, what’s up with you, mate?” and he takes the opportunity to slip a knife in your back? After all, he’s their good buddy, you said. If they have no idea what’s been going on, aren’t they going to take what he says at face value?
ETA: Blast you, Chimera, for sneaking in ahead of me! shakes fist
So what you should do is dispose of Sleaze permanently. Violence–the solution to all!
Absolutely. A man who thinks of women as objects to be used, confronted and humiliated by three of them? There will be backlash. Like Chimera said, hopefully all the backlash will be that he and his wife leave your social scene. I also agree that husbands should be told - if my husband was sitting down having such a discussion with one of my friends, I’d damn sure want to know about it.
Hey, the way I look at it, she had two men posting the same idea at the same time. Means there might be something to it.
ETF is a woman, just so you know.
I had a situation arise once where I wanted someone to know that I had been proactive instead of reactive. So I sent myself an email. Try something like this:
*From: DellieM at email1 dot com
To: DellieM at email2 dot com
Subject: just in case
Today is July 23, 2007, and Friend 1, Friend 2 and I just had a conversation with your horrible lecherous friend regarding his behaviour. This is what happened: (Outline events). I think there’s a strong possibility that he’ll try some retaliatory spin, and I want you to have the straight facts.*
You’ll have the date on it, and it proves your timeline.
Exactamundo. In the last few years I’ve divorced myself from several couples because of issues I felt were just not acceptable. In one case, verbal abuse. In another, they put me in the middle of their divorce. Since BOTH of them like to confide in me ( in the hopes, of course, of getting me to spill dirt about the other- to no avail ), I finally just shut it down. We used to socialize, our kids played, etc. Nothing is worth that kind of mindfuckery. One hinted that I might be subpoena’d if it came to that during their divorce trial. I let him know that I would answer every single question with complete honesty. From BOTH sides. Under oath. And did he really want that? He did not.
Just so we’re all on the same page, that kind of adult malarky runs down both sides of the aisle. I flirt as much as the next person when appropriate and within completely decent bounds but man the shit I’ve had rubbed my way by various people at parties? Please. Friendly and fun is one thing. Skanky is another.
You would be wise to dump these people out of your social circle, as this guy is not being very sociable !!
Cartooniverse
At least I was last time I checked. 
I don’t think the guy’s a supervillian. He’s just done some really shitty things, and was told not to in the gentlest way possible. Besides, he won’t have any time to get back at them; he has to find a new way act out his frustrations with his wife.
I agree with this. Now that it’s settled, and there’s no more need for anyone to “handle things,” there’s no reason not to.
I doubt he’ll tell anyone in the circle that he bedded them, since the husbands would be pissed off at him as well then. My guess would be something like that he’d pick a target and claim she’s sleeping around, he discovered the indiscretion, and that you all confronted him, saying that you were covering up for the “ringleader” and that you’d tell everyone that he’s a child molester if he says a word.
I don’t get the reluctance to tell the husbands, either.
Good point, Ferret Herder. In any case, my firm belief is that he won’t let this go unavenged, and these women need to get out ahead of him and TELL THE HUSBANDS. NOW.
I’ve always admired a woman that can handle herself. Yeah, I COULD kick his ass, but its great that you are confident enough and respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself…it means more to me if she said no than my fist saying no.