Ugh, ever feel like one of those situations is about to start where in the end, not a single person involved is happy? This is the beginning…
I’ve just sort of watched everything build for the past couple of weeks, friends falling in/out of love, people hating other people, people people people. And so many problems. But today, everything got much, much worse.
Last night, I was happy though (note: the beginning of the happy part comes after a slightly sad part). A friend of mine asked me to meet her as soon as possible. She was crying, and I got there in a jiffy. She told me she was ruining good mens lives, and that she was a horrible person. I didn’t understand why. She said she’d ruined another friend of mines life, she had led him on to believe that he and her were a couple, or something along those lines. She eventually came out with it: she was gay. That’s where I became happy. I was so proud of her for confronting it. But she had told my other friend that she was gay, and he didn’t believe her (or something fucked up along those lines). Also, her parents aren’t exactly the people to accept her being a lesbian. The parents are russians, and very strict. She had once talked to me before about her father beating her. I cheered her up (I don’t know how, but I got her smiling), and I left her.
Cut to today. I get to school, and I see her, she’s not looking as up as last night. She doesn’t show up for her chemistry class (which I discovered was because she’d left the class before it). She had left because she’d taken a full bottle of asperin. I didn’t learn this until about 5 o’clock today. She’d done it because of my other friend, who she got a phone call after she got back from my talk the night before. He’d cried and said he was going to the hospital, and that was the only thing he said. Well, I think she thought she’d completely fucked him up, and she took the pills.
She told a friend of mine that she had done that, and this other friend got her to the nurse, and that got her to the hospital. Last I heard, she was fine, and that she was going to survive, for which I am eternally grateful. But now my friend is going to be in a mental hospital for god knows how long, and I don’t know when I’m going to see her again, and it’s all building up, and this is only the tip of the iceberg of the hell that’s going to encompass my life for god knows how long. WHY THE FUCK DOES SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPEN!!??!?!?!
Then tonight, the Simpsons they showed was the episode where maude died. I was not amused. At this point, I’m simply angry, scared, and wondering what the fuck is going on. I had the pleasurable experience of telling my friend (the one at the top who seemed to think she liked him or whatever) that she had attempted suicide. I’ve never seen anyone go through so many stages of emotions in such a short period. He was screaming crying, then completely normal, then I don’t even know. There’s just so much going on now… and I know that this isn’t anywhere near the end of it. Expect many more posts like this one in the near future, that’s the way my life likes to do things. In rapid fucking succession.