The Fall semester is almost over, but I’m mentally burnt out now. 17 units is just too much for me. Somehow, over the past months, the ritual of study, research, writing, homework, deadlines, and staying attentive for 3 hour lectures has taken its toll on my mind. Majoring in English, I’ve had to write so many boring papers I don’t even enjoy writing for fun anymore. And all this just to piddle out a mediocre 2.X GPA this semester. I feel like I’m undergoing some mental torture; I’m REALLY not enjoying all the stress and boredom associated with school. But I got 2 more years of it to look foward to.
Hopefully winter break will help me snap out of it. Perhaps being able to concentrate on pursuing my own enjoyments will lighten my mood. My days are rife with chaos. Sometimes I find it difficult to even get the motivation to simply go to class, much less want to do any of the work. I have a feeling I am going to finish college far more confused than I ever was before I started.