Already scato-lexico-graphically claimed.
We used to call it a “Louganis” in college when the back end of a turd was still partially within anus while the front tip was already in the water. No splash.
Fortunately, (a) the item in question was in a soap dish on the edge of the bathtub (making it all the more bizarre), and (b) although I enjoy a good soak, I fairly religiously stick to showers in student housing. That turd was just the one I knew about.
No, it was on top of the seat. Like waaaaaaay in the back. I think what happened is it splattered. But then why didn’t you clean it up???
Urk.
Ick. That just makes it worse, in my opinion. I mean, the implication is that someone took the time to place it there.
What the hell is wrong with people?
You say that you’re the only one who might consider putting up a sign so you’d be outed, but what about the janitorial staff? Find out if English is their first language or not, and then put up a sign carefully worded to appear to come from them.
The only drawback I can see would be if a big boss actually checked with them to see if they were the ones who did it. Which is not particularly likely in most places I’ve worked.
Okay, I realize it’s been over-used, but…band name?
I can’t really see myself crafting a sign in broken English and trying to put the blame on someone else. Besides, I’m sure that whoever the culprit is would feel no shame about upsetting the janitorial staff anyway. If he dooesn’t care about the people who have to sit there after him, why should he care about people who are PAID to clean up after him?
Sometimes (yes, I’m guilty of this) when I wipe, I’ll stand up and do it as opposed to sitting on the seat and dropping it between my legs after the wipe.
As I’m standing up throwing the waded, shit laden paper into the toilet, some of the fecal matter that is smeared on the toilet paper will hit the edge of the toilet seat on it’s way in, giving the impression that someone shat on the aforementioned seat.
Do I wipe it off? Yes, I do. Therein lies the difference between me and certain other people.
I always wondered where your user name came from.
lol, add a dot com after my user name and you’ll get to my forum. 
I just don’t get how males can get urine on the seat. You dudes do lift the damn seat, don’t you?
Not if it’s a public toilet and the seat is already covered in urine.
This pisses me off (so to speak). Come on guys, you don’t do that at home, do ya? Your wife/sibling/partner/children/friends would kill you if you did. How difficult is it to lift the freaking seat? If you don’t want to touch it, use your foot! I don’t care if you leave the seat up, I’m smart enough to look before I sit. But don’t piss all over the seat like some incontinent poodle marking it’s territory.
And, while you’re at it, don’t leave your snot on the walls. Maybe you figure you are in a private world while you are in that stall, up to your second knuckle deep in your nostril digging for nose goblins. But we don’t want to share your sense of triumph at the gems you manage to mine. Wipe your boogers in the freaking toilet paper and then flush the damn thing! I don’t want to step on it.
It is sort of amazing that this topic came up as we had a “mystery shitter” at work in the ladies room. I am not talking about a little poo here. I have heard it was smeared all over the seat, tank and the walls.
It started sometime at the beginning of the year.
At one point the management had a ladies only meeting about it but it still continued.
The company closed off the two private bathrooms and then installed cameras to watch the doorways going into the two remaining bathrooms with stalls.
They finally caught the “MS” yesterday because an “incident” happened three times and they were able to deduce who it was by watching back the camera tape.
Now I think it is wrong that the name of the person has been revealed but then again I have never seen the shit or had to clean up the shit so I am sure the people that did have no sympathy for the person.
I was shocked it was a person that has worked here many, many years.
I heard they were caught before and were issued a warning and it did stop for awhile but they started up again.
It was so bad they were checking the bathrooms every two hours for any problems.
The person has not been back to work but all of her belongings are still on her desk so we are not sure yet if she are going to be fired or not.
Can there be some type of mental condition that is causing them to do this?
Yeah, it’s called “crazier than a shit-house rat”
Grab a couple of ass-gaskets, paper towels or TP, and lift. :rolleyes:
And you know what? If I’m in Target or the public library, I do that. Well, I usually use my foot, actually, and then don’t put it back down. I guess my mind was on those fetid Austin nightclubs I spent all weekend in, and their grosser-than-gross bathrooms. 
Yeah, I use my shoe (the undersize if possible) to touch anything related to the toilet, except my own “throne.” My shoe may have some dirt on it. A public toilett’s handle or undeside will have much, much worse.
I’ve been real curious as to how people can make such a mess, too. I mean, if you had diarrhea I can actually see getting a little around (nasty, nasty disease, so yeah people make a mess).
A friend of mine is so creeped out by any bathroom that isn’t his own that he had a business to sell this sort of thing.
His company was called Sanilift but that business in the link isn’t it. My friends business sold the same sort of thing, but they were plastic. I did point out that if someone is pissing on the seat, nothing is going to stop them from pissing on a handle near the seat.