Police charge man over sex with traffic cone

An open and shut case of coneilingus.

Holy crap. He must have been so damned horny he couldn’t wait take it home with him first! :eek:

I heard it was to break him from his sheep habit.


Gives a whole new meaning to the word “cone head”, though…

Moving this to MPSIMS, which is the more appropriate forum.

Which end of the cone?

I mean, we need to whether to pity the man or stand back in awe…

That crosses the lane.

I’m not very up to date with current fads, is this in any way related to auto-asphyxiation ?

Don’t think so, LC. Methinks the gentleman either inserted, uh, well, into the top of the cone, or was a tad more passive and, errrrr, lowered himself over it.

Excuse me, I’ve got to go and throw up now.

This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “It’s not a good night unless you have a traffic cone”!

Just wait till the C.L.O. catches up with him.

Originally posted by Coldfire

From my student days of nicking them as trophies I recall the diameter was erm… quite large

Ow ow ow ow ow ow…ow!

Coldie - Think ‘traffic cone’, ‘auto’ and pun.

Okay, okay, so it wasn’t that good…do I get half a whoosh ?

.6 of a woosh, even. Can’t believe I fell for that. There I was, fantasizing about how one could strangle oneself with a traffic cone.

Never did that before in the office.

Maybe while he was doing his ‘business’ in one end of the cone, he covered up the other end of the cone with duct tape so it couldn’t breathe.

and ems, did you ever grab any with ‘residue’ on them?

Nah, nah, what you have to do is put it thru the hole, then squeeze the sides with your hand, they’re quite flexible and rubbery…I don’t know where that came from, forget I said it.

I hate to think how he would literally translate the Yogi Berra quote.

With a cone up his ass he could fart thru a bullhorn, kinda like some perverse yell leader.

Give me an “A”!

So, was this a case of spur of the moment taking advantage of an opportunity, or is there some emotional commitment here?

Was it good for the cone?

This puts the pile-on back into pylon

I can just hear the guy now…
“Are you kidding me? And it’s called what… a vagina?”