Sorry guys - this isn’t a poll asking what kind of underwear us gals wear.
I have a friend who’s been flirting via text and Facebook with a girl he knows from college. She’s been flirting pretty hard, telling him she had “sexual thoughts” about him when they were in school. He says they’ve hit on topics like porn, pubic hair and blowjobs. From what I know of my friend, he’s been gentlemanly but cheeky. Both people are in their late 20s.
From what I’ve seen of her Facebook page, she’s quite attractive and one of those “fun girls” who’s into partying at the bar and dancing with her girlfriends (plenty of drunk pics up there!)
They had a date lined up for a couple weeks ago but it got cancelled due to “something else came up.” They’ve got one scheduled for this weekend - it’d be their first date.
But I guess Monday during one of their text/chat sessions, he asked “so, what kind of underwear do you sport?” She replied “thongs and boyshorts” … but then said “that’s kind of a personal question. you sound like an underwear stealer. I’ll ttyl” and hasn’t talked to him since!
So, obviously she was really squicked out by my friend asking about her undies. He is really freaked out - he doesn’t like the idea that he offended her at all.
He asked my opinion. I thought it was weird and said that if a guy I was flirting with asked me, I’d probably send him a picture of me in my skivvies.
But, I’m not a normal kinda girl, and I don’t know many other girls. So I don’t know if she’s totally over-reacting or if it IS really rude to ask about a girl’s underwear. Does it maybe go beyond the realm of cute flirting?
What do you gals think? Would you be squicked if a guy you were flirting with asked what kind of underwear you “sport”?
Porn Pubic hair and BJ’s are fine topics of conversation, but underwear type makes him a perv?!?! That combined with the date canceled for “something else came up” makes me think she was into the flirting and not the dating. The “too personal” underwear question just gave her a chance to blow him off since he was getting too serious.
If I’m telling someone I have/had sexual thoughts about them, I sure as heck hope they’d do something like ask about my underwear! Freaking out about it is not cool. Tell your friend I don’t think he’s a creep, and I’m pretty sensitive to stuff like that.
“Something else came up” = “I just made a date with a hotter/otherwise more desireable guy for that night.” Otherwise I can’t see why she would pass on a first date without some kind of extreme reason. Sounds like she hit it off with this other guy and she’s being a jerk about dumping your friend without being honest.
My only thought about the question is maybe she was OK about talking about stuff in general but when it comes down to her preferences, that’s more personal. However, looking at the list of what they’ve discussed, I’m not as likely to believe that was the case.
heheh corkboard. You don’t want to see me in my granny panties anyway
The “something else came up” was that she got a free ticket to a CD release party. Only it turned out to be her friend’s boyfriend’s lame band and she didn’t have a very good time. I don’t think she has another dude but I do think she is a bit too distracted by hanging out with “the girls.”
I don’t want to be a downer for my friend, but I don’t think this girl is for him. He’s on the rebound and is reeling that a hot chick is into him. But she’s all “top 40” and into partying at sports bars, and he’s an extremely indie ex-raver. She’s a fashion buyer and he delivers pizza. I think he needs a girl with more substance. That likes to talk about her underwear.
Man, I don’t envy you guys, trying to pick up girls. Women can be weird sometimes!
I’m with everyone else. Once you cross the realm into talking about blowjobs and pubic hair, asking about underwear is downright tame. She was looking for an excuse to blow him off.
Maybe she’s not shocked, just cheap? She did say she was afraid he’d steal her panties (do guys do that? Why? WHY?*). Maybe she’s too cheap to go buy new ones.
Or maybe she’s just looking for an excuse to mess with his head. Either way, any way, she sounds like trouble. Danger, Will Robinson!
They haven’t talked since Monday, like two whole days ago? :eek:
Perhaps she really was squicked out, but to me that could just as easily be more playful chatter, especially the “you sound like an underwear stealer” part. If he has evidence that she is actively avoiding him, then yeah she is a nutcase or something, but sometimes people just get busy.
OK, that was Monday, and it’s now Wednesday. She hasn’t cancelled the date, right? Back in my day, we could sometimes go a whole day without talking to some guy we weren’t even dating yet. What is with these kids today?
If the underwear thing crossed a line, I think it would be in terms of implying that he was going to see them on a first date. Because, while it might happen, it’s pretty ballsy to communicate the expectation.
Maybe her line of thinking was that the other stuff was kind of theoretical or hypothetical, but specifically asking what type of underwear “she” wears is personal? Maybe for her it touches a bit closer to reality. I don’t know. Doesn’t make any sense to me, but then I’m old and fairly stodgy. I wouldn’t be talking about any of that to somebody I hadn’t even been out with.
Yeah, but until (unless) she actually cancels on him, I wouldn’t worry about it. She might just be still flirting and either be busy or giving him something to worry about, intending it to be playful. “Hey, I won’t answer his messages right away, that’ll make him think.”
Come on now, he’s not a moron. If the entirety of your interaction with someone has been constant texting back-and-forth during certain hours, every day, for about 3 weeks, and it just stops…you’d get the hint that there’s something up too.
I’m pretty open about my undies. Would not have bothered me even if we had not had the BJ/porn talk. My assumption would have been that he wanted to know what kind to buy me.
