Could you kindly tell me which of the following viewpoints is closest to your own:
a) It is a source of deep and profound regret for me that I and my same-sex partner (current, future, hypothetical, whatever) are unable to procreate together in the way that heterosexuals can.
b) I’d prefer if we could procreate together in the way that heterosexuals can, but it’s not a big deal.
c) I really couldn’t care less that we can’t procreate together; there are other ways to have children (adoption, IVF etc).
d) I have absolutely zero interest in having children so I don’t care anyway.
If I haven’t covered all angles please feel free to add an (e). Elaboration is also welcome.
I’ve never had a partner who wanted kids, so I never really seriously considered the possibility beyond hypothetical musings. But when I see other people with kids, I wonder how they find the time and energy and patience and wisdom and money it takes to raise a kid. I think I’d be a pretty good parent (and My Guy would be an even better one), but we’re both happy just sharing our lives with each other and our two cats (and my mother).
Frankly, I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the familial pressure to get married/procreate, which many of my straight friends in their 30s feel. Being gay lends a certain freedom in this regard.
Gotta be (d), sorry. But I’m a doting uncle, and my husband and I always spoil the kids at Christmas. I don’t dislike kids, and it’s been a joy to watch my nieces and nephew grow up. (They all got another uncle, of course, when jeremy evil and I got legally married.)
I’d be interested in hearing some ages (or approximates) in here if possible.
What I’m interested is a bit like what Jervoise said.
I am a straight married late 30s male. But when I was younger (late 20s and earlier) I was certain that kids were for others. My sisters kids were cool but I was glad not to have to cope with them every day.
But later on I started looking at the little apes differently. I’d see some parent holding a kids hand crossing the street and think that it might be a good thing.
And then I had kids. Two so far and a third is the ‘Hmm…maybe’ stage.
So this thread makes me wonder if the answers might not be skewed by that same factor. That is, regardless of orientation, if you asked a group of early 20s folks about kids they’d give a strong contra-indication but older folks, again regardless of orientation, might be more mixed.
e) It bothers me that I can’t have children biologically (yet) with my partner. However, I have hope that perhaps combining our ova would be a possibility in the future, what with The Wonders Of Science and all (I understand it’s already been done with animals in the lab). Yay daughters!
C. I would adopt, but if I ever wanted biological children, it would have to be through heterosexual intercourse only, not artificial insemination. Personally, I would never consider violating the natural methods and processes of biology to conceive a child.
D. No desire for kids, and if I did want them, I wouldn’t give a rats ass whose DNA they had. I’ve never understood why so many straight people seem so focused on having a kid with their genetics.
I never wanted kids. I have spoiled my nieces and nephew rotten and now am in the process of spoiling the great nieces and great nephews rotten, which I enjoy because I can do all the spoiling then give em back when it starts to get ugly. “Here, your kid’s broke and needs fixin’.”
I am 50 and currently in a relationship with a man who is also 50. He is not a kid person at all, evidenced by the fact that he refers to em as “snot nosed little crumb snatchers.” He has no nieces or nephews. He has a brother who is also gay and a sister who marries and divorces a lot and has never had kids. He buys all kinds of treats and toys for his brother’s dog and calls the dog his nephew.
I am glad I don’t have and never wanted kids of my own.
D. I’m a drone bee, happily fulfilling my societal obligations.
We Work the holiday shifts that parents would rather not work, so they can be with their children on Christmas morning.
We babysit our friends’ kids so they can have a peaceful dining experience every so often, without inflicting their screaming children on the other restaurant patrons or movie goers.
I like to think we make parenting life a little more bearable for the breeders.
My SO and I are both
d) - have absolutely zero interest in having children so we don’t care.
If there were any doubt in our minds, the 3 year old screeching brat child next door sealed the deal (yes, it is her parents’ fault, but the end result is the same).
Interesting timing of this poll. I had a brief conversation with a friend of a friend this past weekend on just this subject. I believe he was gay. His argument was, “All people want to procreate. It’s built in. We’re animals.” I disagreed for various reasons that have already been presented. Some of those reasons have nothing to do with being gay.
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