Poll for Guys: enjoying or not enjoying arousal itself

In My Humble Opinion
1

Prompted by my ongoing astonishment at the number of posts in this thread in which various guys essentially say “But that would make me horny yet wouldn’t lead to sex & orgasm and that would just be horrible!”…

1) If an outcome that includes orgasm is by no means a certainty, and definitely isn’t happening right away, do you find it pleasant to be sexually aroused…

a) …only mildly; if it gets past a certain point it stops being pleasant unless stimulation is escalating towards orgasm;
b) …only if there’s some stimulation; it doesn’t have to lead to orgasm but completely unrequited arousal isn’t much fun;
c) …for a little while, even if it is intense and doesn’t lead to anything; if it continues for a long time though, that ceases to be pleasant;
d) …for as long as it lasts, sure, I’m gonna come eventually, no matter what, and the intensity of the buildup is fun in and of itself and makes the release better;
e) …? Hell no!

2) If orgasm is definitely in the works but your partner really enjoys teasing and tantalizing and likes to bring you 90%, 95%, 99% of the way to the edge and keep you there…

a)…that’s the sweetest and most intense erotic experience possible and it’s what I crave and live for;
b)…that can be fantastic; it may not outshine other forms of doin’ the deed but wow that can be great sometimes;
c) …that can be a mixture of torture and delight, I like it sometimes but not too often or not really drawn-out because it gets too intense;
d) …then it’s time to get a new partner, because that’s cruel and mean-spirited and unpleasant, why the hell would I want that?
e) …then my partner’s going to be disappointed because it just stops working for me – if it’s not going anywhere, me and my parts lose interest.

3) Suppose you had an opportunity to be present in a situation that wasn’t going to lead directly or indirectly to sex for you, but which you knew from experience was probably going to turn you on a lot, whether it be a “cuddle party”, a visit to a strip/erotic-dance club, or whatever. If it wasn’t in any shape way fashion or form going to displace other opportunities for actually getting laid, would you…

a)…avoid it like it was a vial of reconstituted 1918 avian flu; why on earth would I want to get turned on for no purpose? As Bill Cosby once said, if you’re hungry and broke you don’t watch someone cook themselves a steak, you walk away from it!
b) …go but only if I had something lined up for afterwards to get rid of the hungers;
c) …go and enjoy it; seeing or otherwise experiencing arousing things is nice delicious fun!
d) …probably go but leave if I got horny because otherwise I’d end up with ‘blue balls’ and I hate that
Just curious to see if I’ve found yet another way in which I don’t seem to be wired up like the rest of you, or if there are lots of others like myself.

2

  1. c

  2. b

  3. d, but recognize that I’m married, so the question is sort of moot.

3

f) …only when I am not intellectually rebelling about being grossly manipulated by a woman who is enjoying her power trip and is only stimulating me for selfish reasons of her own; and never when I resent being treated like a sex object by a woman who uses sex as a weapon to get what she wants.

This may be where we differ. For me, I can be physically turned on and emotionally disgused and intellectually turned off at the same time. Just because Mr. Happy takes notice doesn’t mean I’m going to slavishly give him everything he wants. It probably says something about me and control issues, but I just don’t stop thinking because I’m physically aroused.

b)…that can be fantastic; it may not outshine other forms of doin’ the deed but wow that can be great sometimes;

f)…avoid it but not for reasons of (a). It’s because I don’t deliberately put myself in a position to be manipulated by other people where I leave feeling emotionally hollow and used and ashamed.

4

None of your answers here quite work for me.
If there’s absolutely no physical contact or possibility of orgasm, I’ll enjoy it for a while and then get bored.
If there’s physical contact, I seem to be able to enjoy that indefinitely.

a) or b) for me.

c). I like things that turn me on.

I agree to some extent with Fish (though we seem to disagree on everything in the other thread) that being played for a fool is no fun. In most situations, if a woman is trying to be a tease or playing red-light-green-light or any other such mind games, I’ll be disgusted and ignore her. But if the rules are reasonably well understood, it’s perfectly okay. (Examples of that might be with a steady partner, where she teases all she wants with the understanding that sex will in fact occur, or a stripper who gets a certain number of dollars in return for a certain amount of frottage, etc)

5

1 c
2 a
3 a