She’s in a good mood about something. Anything. Maybe it’s a nice sunny day and the sun feels good on her shoulders, who knows?
Seconded. Emotions are contageous.
Thanks, hon 
It’s safe to say that many of us guys do not have to worry about this.
Also, face blindness makes these kinds of situations much more perilous.
That’s pretty much what it felt like I had.
C. You and my boyfriend would make such good friends!
Fake confidence only helps for that brief moment when you can confuse 'em. Once that moment is past everything you’ve been faking becomes obvious. I can tell myself and the world I’m pretty all I want, it won’t make it true.
That study seems pretty flawed on a number of levels. For one thing, it’s way too short-term. Building confidence and self-esteem takes time and persistence. It’s not something that can be done in an afternoon. When you start out with positive affirmations, your body will resist them for a time. It’s kind of like when you start an exercise and diet routine, you might actually gain a pound or two initially. It’s the long-term lifestyle changes that bring results.
I have to question the competency of those that did the study. Suppose they had conducted a study on exercise and diet in the same way they did this one. They’d be proclaiming that exercise makes you fat.
I’d really like to see some of you “ugly” people. I can’t believe all you fun, witty posters are actually a bunch of gargoyles.
Why would your opinion be worth more than ours? I highly doubt you’re going to look at people posting pictures and go ‘Damn dude, you’re right, you’re uglier than two bags of smashed assholes!’.
And why would your opinion be worth more than all those who came before you? An unattractive person, by definition does not attract people. If I don’t attract people, and I have a preponderance of evidence that this is the case, then by definition I am unattractive. Your one vote really isn’t going to count for much.
Won’t mace, totally digs. I don’t see a difference. It’s all A to me, baby.
Maybe it’s your sunny disposition? Women hate cheery optimists.
Right, cuz that’s clearly the first thing they see. I mean, I hear it all the time. Damn, that guy is fat n ugly, but hey, he’s clearly got a sunny disposition, I can’t lose!
I’m just saying, there are plenty of women who would rather be with an overweight but pleasantly disposed guy who is fun to be with than a handsome and fit cantankerous sourpuss. And the fat and ugly cantankerous sourpusses? Cheering up sounds like a great place to start.
Actually, it is. Women are amazingly sensitive to that. I know that you’re not going to believe me, but just entertain the idea for a while and imagine how your world would be different.
A couple of years ago I was on my way to the pool and saw a woman who was a vision of loveliness. She was a real cutie. We chatted for a tiny bit and her personality matched her looks. I thought that if I were single, I could really go for her. But would she go for a chubby guy like me? Naw.
At the pool she was joined by her boyfriend. This guy was HUGE. 350 at least. And she was all over him. The look on her face while she wrapped herself around him was amazing. She looked like the luckiest girl on the planet. You could FEEL the attraction from 20 feet away.
But if you really feel that your weight is what’s holding you back (Hint: It isn’t), then get to a gym and change your body.
Yeah, I know. But you know what else? It’s nothing without being attractive. Sure people want funny and outgoing and upbeat and interesting and intelligent and all kinds of other things, but what they actually want is a funny attractive person, an outgoing attractive person, an intelligent attractive person. I’m glad that guy attracted someone. By definition, that makes him attractive. This isn’t that hard to understand.
Oh, I am going to a gym. But I have no illusions about that suddenly making me attractive.
It really must be though because you’re equivocating quite a bit. On the one hand, you say attractive is tautological in that if and only if you’ve attracted a partner are you attractive. On the other hand, you say that physical attractiveness is requisite to find a partner. But that’s clearly not the case with the fat galoot tdn was spying on. He was attractive, by definition 1, because he found a partner who is attracted to him. But tdn told us he wasn`t physically attractive. So at least for some of us, it must be a little hard to understand.
Personally I say cheer up and stay positive. Keep going to the gym. I haven`t seen you, but can I suggest a hair cut? A lot of men would look way better with a nicer hair style.
OK, great. We’re almost on the same page here. I’m glad. Now we just have to agree on what attractive means. If it’s not in your physique, then where is it? Your facial features? That can’t be right. Look at Dennis Franz. One of the homeliest guys on the planet. And yet he was one of the world’s top sex symbols for a while. So it’s not the face.
Maybe it’s money. Women are attracted to rich guys, no doubt about it. Take a walk through a ghetto sometime. What do you see? Children. Lots and lots of children, probably more than their parents’ incomes can support. Clearly, poor men are meeting women.
Have we eliminated just about all of the physical reasons for attractive? Good, we’re getting somewhere. Eliminate the physical, and what are we left with? There’s the intellectual, but there are plenty of dumb guys who get lots of women. Hang around any university with a football team and you’ll see this in spades.
What does that leave us with? Emotional. Emotions are contageous. Whatever you are feeling, you transmit. If you talk to a woman (or even get within some physical proximity to her) and you’re feeling sad, she’ll pick up on the sadness and you’ll bring her down. If you feel like you’re being creepy talking to her, she’ll get creeped out. Guess what happens if you feel amazing?
You’re attractive!
Rule #1 of dating: Men are attracted to tits and butts. Women are attracted to emotions.
If you’re funny and outgoing and upbeat and interesting and intelligent and CONFIDENT and you LOVE YOUR LIFE, then your looks and money are just icing on the cake.
And you can learn it. Anyone can. It might take some work. It absolutely takes commitment. Most of all, it demands that you believe in it. That last point is very important!
Once again, don’t believe what I’m telling you. But just imagine how your life might improve if what I’m saying turns out to be true.
You don’t think being funny and outgoing could be what is making him attractive?
I wasn’t spying on him! I don’t spy on ugly fat men in bathing suits!
But no one there that day could ignore the interaction going on. Eveyone was noticing.
Amen. And get flattering, non-boring clothes that fit well. Get awesome shoes and a belt to match. Keep your fingernails trimmed and clean. Much in the way a man can size a woman up in less than a second (Tits, butt, waistline, hair), a woman can size a man up (Confidence, shoes, belt, fingernails, hair). Take care of the basics.