Yes, buttered saltines. I rack and stack. Butter one (on the salted side), put another on top, butter it, put a third on top, eat it like a sandwich. Don’t judge me.
I never thought of buttering saltines either. I usually put tuna salad on saltines. Cheese and meats I put on a sturdier cracker. Usually Stoned Wheat Thins, yum. I know they’re made by damn Canadians, but still, that’s a fine cracker.
I also never noticed that saltines are only salted on one side, nor have I ever cared which side is salted.
As a kid I could eat a whole tube of saltines in a sitting, just plain, always exactly four bites per cracker. As a result my mom usually didn’t keep them in the house. 
I’ve never thought to put butter on saltines, either. Mind you, I haven’t put any toppings on saltines in years.
I like them crushed into soup, though. I like them in soup so much that I’ll crush half a sleeve of them into a single bowl (or a full sleeve if it’s a really big bowl). Then they absorb the broth and the soup becomes stew-like. Yum.
why stop?
I also like both butter and peanut butter together on saltines, although my topping of choice is tuna salad or egg salad on the salty side.
I’ve never seen anyone dress up saltines with toppings and spreads. For me, they exist for crushing into soup, chili, or eating plain when you’re sick.
I guess that’s closest to the casserole option.
I was using my phone when I replied, and I don’t remember seeing peanut butter in the poll title. doesn’t mean it wasn’t there, I could have just missed it thanks to the small screen.
Butter on saltines I believe is a southern thing. I saw it first hand in Atlanta. Couldn’t believe that someone was topping off lunch with a half dozen saltines that he spread butter on and then ate. I was told by a native that at finer southern restaurants or clubs, you can order buttered saltines.
Any southern brethren want to weigh in with the Straight Dope on buttered saltines?
I’m Southern and I’d never seen or heard of a buttered saltine before this thread.
What a bunch of provincials.
putting a few provincials on a saltines is a flavor treat.
No, we’re not. There’s something wrong with some of them, though.
Why the hell would you put butter on a saltine?
Why do you put butter on toast?
The thread title was edited for space, but the poll mentions things other than butter. Two saltines (salted sides out) with peanut butter or cheese in between is no weirder than
I would put it to the incredulous among you that saltine crackers are really no different than a piece of toast.
Ingredients for toast: flour, sugar, water, salt, leavening, toasted brown.
Ingredients for saltines: flour, sugar, water, salt, leavening, toasted brown (per the label).
The only difference: one is hot, one is not. Ergo. . .I say ERGO. . .there is no reason not to butter.
Questions? I thought not.
The warmth of the toast is the key factor that makes buttering it work so well. The butter gets all melty, and the toast is kind of steamy in a way that really complements the melty butter. Saltines are dry and room temperature, so they don’t get the same benefits from buttering.
I had never heard of or thought of butter on saltines until one day about 20 years ago. I stopped at a truck stop in Rock Springs Wyoming that had a small cafe next to it. I was surprised to see a nice selection of Chinese food on the menu. I ordered a combo platter and was brought a bowl of saltines in packs of two and individual wrapped butter pats.
So…the salty side.
So, why the salted side?
This. And this. And this.
When you start heating your Saltines then you’ll have a point. Eating solid, unmelted butter is gross and weird. And since Saltines don’t really have any flavor of their own you should skip the cracker and just eat the butter with a spoon (sprinkling a little salt on it if that is what you really want).
Just my opinion but really you all should recognize its inherent correctness.