Based on this thread over here, what is your saltine M.O.? Poll to follow.
Saltine challenge?
Is that I don’t care which side? That would be my answer. I personally never even thought about butter/margarine on them. I’ve done both peanut butter and soft cheeses on whichever side was up when I went to spread.
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You’re supposed to butter them?
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There are “sides”? I thought they were salted all over. I don’t have one in front of me, but maybe one side is slightly flatter, and I assume that’s the unsalted side? In that case, the flat side is the bottom, so option B.
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Casseroles? I would only use them as an alternative to oyster crackers in clam chowder or similar.
I feel like I’m missing some cultural thing. But then some people prefer Manhattan clam chowder over New England, and that’s just crazy.
Saltine challenge is when you try to eat 6 crackers in 60 seconds without liquid. Sounds less painful than cinnamon or similar.
Thanks. Probably come at least close to that on numerous occasions since if I have them around I tend to munch on them.
The only butter on my saltines is of the peanut variety. I have never paid attention to to what side I put it on.
Similar to the toilet paper orientation issue, there’s a correct way to butter saltines. The butter goes on the unsalted side. Then, when you approach your mouth with the cracker right side up (butter on top), your tongue contacts the salt first and goes “Yummy! Cracker incoming!”
The salt would be wasted on the buttered side and your tongue would have to encounter a bland saltless cracker.
Exactly this. The rest of the options I’m finding baffling. I’ll have to keep reading to learn more.
I also have added jam or jelly, and sometimes even with the peanut butter for a deluxe version, but I still didn’t care which side was up.
I’ve been trying to find the unsalted version in the keep fresh packs but don’t know if they exist.
You’re all doing it wrong. Put a light film of butter on the salt side, then cram it in your craw butter-side down. So the butter and salt hit your tongue together. The cracker is just the delivery system so you can keep your fingers clean and have some excuse to be eating something besides just butter and salt.
Even better if you can find the fancy butters (I’m too lazy to make them) like salted caramel and garlic herb infused stuff that I’ve found no better way to have then on a cracker. Butter side down.
I share thelurkinghorror’s confusion. Never heard of buttering saltines, don’t quite know what a “side” is in this context. If I eat them with toppings as a carb delivery system for something else, I just put a plain piece of cheese or ham or liverwurst on 'em. You know, kind of how those Oscar Mayer lunchables are presented. Buttering just seems … odd and a bit of pain in the ass to me.
Buttered… saltines?
I’m not a saltine sidist, I can eat with either, both, or no sides buttered. Actually I can’t think of more than once or maybe twice that I did eat buttered Saltines, and I think only because I had no cheese to put on them.
We may have been separated at birth.
You must have put peanut butter on a saltine once in your life?
Butter on saltines?! 
You americans are weird.
The unsalted side. And I put them in my mouth salted side down in case you were wondering about that.
Slather the additives on the unsalted side, because I always eat cracker/cookies with the salted/sugared side the direct-tongue-contact side.
I’m going to slide this over to Cafe Society, and not just because I’m horrified by the concept presented here (but I’d totally try it, weird as it sounds).
There’s an unsalted side?
the salt crystals provide spread grippage.
Exactly. 