Polls only: No discussion

Have you ever had someone(s) forget your birthday in a particularly disappointing way?

  • Yes
  • No
0 voters
  • Happy Birthday, Squeegee!
0 voters

Here’s your cake - and it’s your favorite flavor, too, squeegee!

  • Blow out the candles! Make a wish!
0 voters

You’re on a jury. At one point in the trial the prosecutor says something, the defence objects and the judge sustains, instructing the jurors to disregard it. Without that comment you would be considering the defendant to be not guilty, however with that comment you are pretty sure s/he is guilty. Which way do you choose?

  • Guilty
  • Not Guilty
0 voters

To avoid forgetting someone’s birthday in a particularly disappointing way…

  • Happy Birthday, squeegee!
  • Happy 64th Birthday, running_coach!
  • Happy Birthday to me!
  • Happy Birthday to someone else!
  • Bah humbug. I don’t do happy birthdays.
0 voters

Movie depicts teens fighting to defend their homeland in a war (let’s say, age 14-17). How do you feel?

  • How brave, these teens are fighting to defend the homeland
  • How sad, these teens are fighting to defend the homeland
  • other
0 voters

Which shipping service do you prefer/trust the most in the U.S.?

  • USPS
  • UPS
  • FedEx
  • DHL
  • Other
0 voters

You’re on a jury. At one point in the trial the defence says something, the prosecutor objects and the judge sustains, instructing the jurors to disregard it. Without that comment you would be considering the defendant to be certainly guilty, however with that comment there is some doubt. Which way do you choose?

  • Guilty
  • Not Guilty
0 voters

A poll must have more than one choice, otherwise it’s not a proper poll.

  • True
0 voters
  • I currently subscribe to a print newspaper (which may also include access to the the online edition)
  • I currently subscribe to the online edition of a newspaper only
  • I subscribe to both a print edition of a paper and the online edition of a different paper for which I do not receive a print copy.
  • I do not subscribe to a newspaper in any format
  • Other / none of the above, even though I am pretty sure the above options cover all possibilities.
0 voters
  • I currently have a paid subscription to a print magazine (which may also include access to the online edition).
  • I currently have a paid subscription to the online edition of a magazine.
  • I currently have a paid subscription to a print magazine, and another paid subscription to the online edition of another magazine for which I do not receive the print copy.
  • I currently do not have a paid subscription to a magazine in any format.
  • Other/none of the above.
0 voters

Who do you think most likely killed Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson?

  • O. J. Simpson
  • someone else who was acting at the direction of O. J. Simpson
  • someone else who was not acting at the direction of O. J. Simpson
  • I’m familiar enough with the case but couldn’t guess who killed them
  • I’m not familiar enough with the case to guess who killed them
0 voters

You are eating your meal when you see something disgusting, or someone says something disgusting. How much does it affect your appetite?

  • None, I’m going to keep chowing down totally unaffected.
  • Some. I can still eat, but I wish I hadn’t seen or heard that.
  • I cannot eat any further.
0 voters

You won a small prize in a sweepstakes, like a gift card or similar, worth less than $100. It’s not valuable enough for the company that runs the sweepstakes to send you a 1099 or report it to the IRS, but it is technically taxable income in the US. When tax time comes around do you report the prize as income?

(If you’re not a US citizen just pretend you are for purposes of this poll)

  • Yes
  • No
0 voters

Same poll as above, but with additional options:

You won a small prize in a sweepstakes, like a gift card or similar, worth less than $100. It’s not valuable enough for the company that runs the sweepstakes to send you a 1099 or report it to the IRS, but it is technically taxable income in the US. When tax time comes around do you report the prize as income?

(If you’re not a US citizen just pretend you are for purposes of this poll)

  • No, because I want to scam the government out of the taxes
  • No, because the government would never know if I don’t report it and I will get away with it
  • No, because it would never cross my mind that a piddly prize like that would be considered taxable income. What about the $50 gift card I got from my sister for my birthday?
  • Yes, because I am an aware and diligent citizen.
  • Yes, because I don’t want to go to jail for something this minor.
0 voters

You’ve been convicted of a crime you didn’t commit and are given a life sentence. Decades later, having exhausted all your appeals, you are finally eligible to apply for parole. According to the rules of the jurisdiction, parole can be granted only in cases where the convict admits to the crime and expresses remorse. What do you do?

  • I maintain my innocence and so don’t apply for parole.
  • I apply but at the parole hearing I maintain my innocence, knowing that this will result in parole being denied.
  • I apply and at the parole hearing I falsely admit to the crime and express remorse, hoping that I will be released.
0 voters
What do you think is happening when you hear the phrase “giving [him] the business”?
  • Someone is being physically assaulted.
  • Someone is being verbally assaulted.
  • Someone is being assaulted in some way.
  • Someone is transferring ownership of their entrepreneurial enterprise to someone else.
  • All or any of the above.
  • Something else.
  • I don’t know.
0 voters

Do you believe in the “Trump polling effect” (that is, that the actual amount of votes Trump gets will always be somewhat higher, perhaps 2-3% more, than what polls project he will get on election day?)

  • yes
  • no
0 voters

What’s your opinion on touchscreens in cars?

  • They’re great! Everything should be controlled by the touchscreen.
  • They’re fine for some things, but certain controls should remain physical buttons/knobs/switches.
  • They suck! Everything should be controlled by physical buttons/knobs/switches.
  • Somehow none of these options accurately describes my opinion.
0 voters

A mad scientist / weird alien / curious genie come to you with the offer of a new, nigh-magical (or magical) elixir. The effect, to return your appearance, physical health, and energy to a point exactly 20 years prior to taking the elixir (only offered to those 40 and older).

The catch, is that by rejuvenating your body, it burns your lifeforce, which is fixed by the powers of the universe, by 10 years - so if you would have originally have lived to 91, it’s now 81, and you drop dead. You, the scientist, and everyone else don’t know your final day, but all the evidence bears this out.

One happy mulligan though, the power of the elixir is so high that even if you would have dropped dead during the next 10 years (causing your death instantly by the elixir) that it will allow you to live at single year ever if you would have died the next day.

Elixir does not prevent other causes of death, or enhance healing, just rejuvenates and restores you to the condition of an “average” day 20 years prior.

Do you accept?

  • I am 40-49 and accept.
  • I am 50-59 and accept.
  • I am 60-69 and accept.
  • I am 70-79 and accept.
  • I am 80-89 and accept.
  • I am 90-99 and accept.
  • I am 100+ (go you!) and accept.
  • I am 40-49 and decline.
  • I am 50-59 and decline.
  • I am 60-69 and decline.
  • I am 70-79 and decline.
  • I am 80-89 and decline.
  • I am 90-99 and decline.
  • I am 100+ and decline, obviously I’m already immortal!
  • I will not meddle with the like of any scientist, genie or alien but instead run in fear prior to being offered / NOTA / Bacon-Hindu-Athiest.
0 voters