Polls only: No discussion

When do you use the handicapped stall in public restrooms?

  • Always, even when other stalls are available
  • Only when it’s the only one available (all the other stalls are either occupied, out of order, or so disgusting you deem them unusable)
  • Never
  • Always, because I’m disabled and actually need the handicapped stall

0 voters

Did you know you could see everyone who has created a poll in this thread by clicking on something below the first post?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Other

0 voters

Would you like me to do the work for you and just put the current number in a poll?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe

0 voters

ETA: Dang, I screwed up. It’s “Frequent Posters” I was using, not total number. Disregard everything in both my polls.

Were you unable to vote on the second question in Procrustus’s poll just before this?

  • Yes
  • No

0 voters

If you answered yes, are you annoyed now?

  • Yes
  • Certainly
  • You’re damn right I am
  • I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds

0 voters

What would be the appropriate sanction for Procrustus?

  • Let him off with a warning
  • Immediate execution
  • Forty lashes with a wet noodle
  • No big whoop; let’s just let bygones be bygones
  • A mod warning
  • Suspension from the Dope for a year
  • He did nothing wrong, so no punishment should be imposed
  • Lifetime ban from the Dope

0 voters

A genie appears and gives you one of these wishes:

  • Magically fixing all the mistakes you made on this thread.
  • $100

0 voters

Which of these artistic talents would you rather have?

  • best actor in the world
  • best musician or composer in the world
  • best painter/artist in the world
  • best singer in the world
  • best film director in the world
  • other

0 voters

Which have you lost most recently?

  • Bleeps
  • Sweeps
  • Creeps
  • Other
  • None

0 voters

Overdue much?
  • I am overdue for a colonoscopy
  • I am overdue for a dentist visit
  • I am overdue for a health physical
  • I am overdue for an eye exam
  • I have overdue library books or other media
  • My car payment or car insurance payment is overdue
  • My floor is overdue to be vacuumed
  • My furnace filter is overdue to be changed
  • My lawn is overdue to be mowed
  • My rent or mortgage payment is overdue
  • My smoke detector batteries are overdue for change
  • My vehicle is overdue for service

0 voters

How much do people around you know about your political views?

  • It’s obvious. I am blatant and outspoken about my politics.
  • So-so. I don’t talk about it that much but I’m not too shy either.
  • Most people have no idea what my political views are, I usually keep quiet on them.

0 voters

It seems to be time to give Mean Mr. Mustard some more flak

  • I am not overdue for anything, and I have no way to see the poll results!
  • How on earth did MMM construct a poll that way??!?!!?
  • When I do try to “temporarily vote”, so I can see the results, all the results are weird: all are NaN% with NaN total votes. WHAT?!?!
  • < Twilight Zone theme goes here >
  • Maybe praying to the Hindu Atheist gods would help…

0 voters

You have held onto an item from an important time in your life, some decades ago—something like a camera or musical instrument. Let’s say you could easily sell it today for a good sum—meaning it held its initial value against inflation well. But the effect on your finances would be minor. ETA: And you’re very sure you’ll never use it again.

  • The past is gone; cash in, ya sentimental wuss!
  • It’s a talisman. Hang on to it.
  • Sell it when you really need the money.
  • Who holds on to this stuff? Should have been gone long ago!
  • Leave directions to be buried with it so they can pry it from your cold, dead hands.
  • Treat it like an investment…wait till the market peaks.
  • Bacon
  • Other

0 voters

0 voters

How many first cousins do you have (or had, if some are deceased)?

  • None
  • 1
  • 2 to 4
  • 5 to 9
  • 10 to 14
  • 15 to 19
  • 20 to 24
  • 25 or more
  • I have no idea
  • Bacon

0 voters

  • I’m a Millennial and I can drive a manual transmission
  • I’m a Millennial and I cannot drive a manual transmission
  • I’m a Gen X’er and I can drive a manual transmission
  • I’m a Gen X’er and I cannot drive a manual transmission
  • I’m a Boomer and I can drive a manual transmission
  • I’m a Boomer and I cannot drive a manual transmission

0 voters

Breaking news: Mean Mr. Mustard is considering changing his name. What should he go with? Choose up to 3 options:

  • Stay with Mean Mr. Mustard
  • Abhorrent Admiral Aioli
  • Bad Baron Butter
  • Caustic Corporal Chutney
  • Fierce Fellow Fishsauce
  • Grody Governor Gravy
  • Hateful Honorable Horseradish
  • Knavish King Ketchup
  • Malevolent Master Mayo
  • Pernicious Professor Pepper
  • Repugnant Reverend Relish
  • Sour Sir Salsa
  • Thorny Tsar Tzatziki
  • Vile Viscount Vinegar

0 voters

What is the first thing you think when you see “IPA”?

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  • India Pale Ale
  • Isopropyl alcohol
  • Other

0 voters

  • The Beatles
  • Led Zeppelin
  • The Rolling Stones
  • The Who
  • None of them

0 voters

If you also don’t know how many first cousins you have, is it due to a scandal in your family?

  • Yes, one of my aunts or uncles has been radio silent for years so who knows how many children they have
  • Yes, and a rumored adoption may or may not have been involved
  • Yes, there’s been rumors about an uncle’s secret child/ren
  • No, I was adopted and don’t know that much about my biological family
  • No, I’m (or my parent was) actually the black sheep who is estranged from my biofamily
  • No, I don’t know for another reason

0 voters

What kind of police drama TV shows do you prefer?

  • The kind where the police solve crimes that happen among the general population.
  • The kind where all the crimes are committed against the police (e.g., the cops’ kids get kidnapped or murdered).
  • The kind where there is a Super Villain, who not only has a grudge against the regular population, but against the police individually and personally, so s/he commits incredibly convoluted crimes against regular people and the police. And does a lot of taunting.
  • The kind where there are no crimes, but we get deep, inside looks into the personal problems of the police, e.g., their love lives or their difficulty adopting a child.
  • I don’t like police dramas at all.

0 voters

What kind of medical drama TV shows do you prefer?

  • The medical team solves/fixes the medical problems of the population at large.
  • All the medical issues happen only to the medical team (e.g., they get cancer, or shot by patients.)
  • Dramas about pandemics!
  • Nobody has any medical issues, but we get deep, inside looks into the medical team’s personal lives.
  • I don’t like medical dramas at all.

0 voters